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Anxiety/uncertainty over change

czarmomczarmom member
in Working Moms

Hi all,

I'm fairly new to the boards, currently 6 weeks pg and have a six year old.   I have worked all my life.   I had my first job hanging Avon books on doors for an Avon rep at age 9 and have had some type of income from that point on until I began working full time right out of high school and I'm now 36.   I'm used to having my own money and doing pretty much whatever I want when I want or buying something if I want to without having to put a ton of thought into it or asking anyone else for money.   Now that I'm pg again, I'm considering trying to stay at home or even working a decent part time job.   I felt I missed a lot with my first child and felt a lot of guilt (and still do with certain things).   I want more flexibility but not sure if my current position can give me that.   I would ideally like a part time job b/c I don't know if I could literally not work at all.  It's just part of how I'm programmed and I hate to worry about money.   My husband seems to think everything will be fine without my income, just cut back on non-necessities, but I'm the worrier in the family :)   Has anyone had luck finding a part time job after their baby was born or negotiating with their current employer and if so, how did you do it?   Thanks in advance for help, I know it's early on, but as I said, I'm the worrier :) 

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BFP #1 - DS 2007

BFP #2 - 8/25/13 - mmc 10/10/13

BFP #3 - 1/14/14 - EDD 9/30/14



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Re: Anxiety/uncertainty over change

  • Karla CSKarla CS member
    edited September 2013
    Most importantly, before making any decisions, I think you need to acknowledge what kind of person you are - I think you're already leaning in one direction. I think most moms fall into one of a few camps - SAHM wants to be, SAHM has to be, WM wants to be or WM has to be. If you fall into the WM wants to be type, you'll need to make sure you can get them same things and fulfillment out of a PT or SAHM role. 

    I do think it's great that you're looking at options so early. If you really think you can make it work money wise and won't miss any non-necessities, make a budget that you can survive on that meets your objective and see if you can comfortably live within it for a few months. I've always had my own money, and the idea of not being able to buy something I enjoy like an e-book (my biggest splurge item lately) because it's a non-necessity just doesn't fly with me. 
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  • czarmomczarmom member

    Thanks, Karla, you made some great points.   :)

     

    image

    BFP #1 - DS 2007

    BFP #2 - 8/25/13 - mmc 10/10/13

    BFP #3 - 1/14/14 - EDD 9/30/14



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  • IblamethebeerIblamethebeer member
    It sounds like you have a supportive husband, but you seem to put "having to ask someone else for money" in the con category for staying home.

    You need to be able wrap your head around the idea that your family income wouldmchange, but you and your husband would both be creating that income by your combined labor, and you would both have equal claims to it.  If you can't do that, I think SAH will be really difficult, emotionally.

    It's hard to find pt daycare for an infant, so figure that into your costs.  If you're going to freelance in your profession, can you work at nap times/when dh is home?  Will you need summer childcare for your 6 year old?  How much would that cost?  Can you find family or friends to watch your kids for a reasonable cost if you get a job with daytime hours?  If you take on evening work, how much will you miss out on with your 6 year old?

    I would also consider your career - is it something that you can step out of for a few years and then step back in or will you be behind on developments in the field/industry?  If it's the latter, do you care or would you be okay never going back?  
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  • czarmomczarmom member

    @Iblamethebeer (love the name btw :)

    Hubs is very supportive, I'm just someone who has always been so independent financially that it's hard for me to fathom not being so.   My husband wouldn't be the type to hold the money over my head, we are definitely equal and share everything.  It's just a lifestyle change for me that I personally have to adapt to.

     

    That's the other thing, PT daycare.  Being a working mom, I know how it works and I know the less you go, the more it can cost (at least in my area).   I would save a couple hundred bucks on before/after school for my 6 year old, so there is that.   His camps over the summer can get costly with the before/after care that is needed.   A lot to mull over, obviously :)

     

    My career is definitely something that I think I could step out of for a time and be able to jump back in.  I do not know if I would be able to jump back in at the salary I've worked up to, but I suppose that's how it works with a lot of jobs when you take off for some time.   I have the kind of job that I can work part time and there are positions out there, but probably not in my current position.

    image

    BFP #1 - DS 2007

    BFP #2 - 8/25/13 - mmc 10/10/13

    BFP #3 - 1/14/14 - EDD 9/30/14



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