Parenting after a Loss

Family Time Weekend Suggestions? LONG (andreahshields)

DH is at it again!  I feel bad complaining about him because he's really not that bad, but he's a bit of a kid and just needs things explained.  He is very affectionate and shows DD lots of love, so it's not like he's a bad father - he just needs to learn how to do more father/family things.

Here's my morning story: So DD wakes up at 6:15 this morning and usually gets dropped off at daycare between 8-9.  DH said he had a busy day scheduled and needed to be at school by 8:30, so by 7am he was ready to drop her off at daycare.  I was still there since I was running late this morning, so I said no.  I said why don't you put her in the bumbo and start getting ready.  She likes to watch you do things, and you can talk to her while you're getting ready.  He said that's not how he does things and that he can't get anything done with her there.  Umm, sorry DH, but you're gonna have to learn to adjust!  You can't just drop her off at daycare an hour early because you don't know how to multitask!  So he put her in the bumbo and started making his coffee and eating some breakfast while she watched.  I knew he could do it!

So while I'm tempted to leave him alone with her this weekend, I know that family time together is most important.  On weekends, I've been doing most of the baby work because I work all week and cherish my time with her.  But I need to help teach DH to do it too.  Last weekend, we were both home but at one point he put her in the RnP in front of me while I was pumping because he was too distracted watching football.  Really DH?!  You can't play with her and watch her for 30 mins while I pump?  Again, he's not a bad guy and I do hate complaining, he just needs to be shown how to do things.

Do you ladies have suggestions for some fun, engaging family weekend time?

*** aka: andreahshields ***

*** July Siggy Challenge - Cake Wrecks ***

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BFP#1 3/8/12; diagnosed w/ Anencephaly at 12w6d; D&C 5/9/12
BFP#2 7/18/12; A/S 10/26/12 It's a Girl! EDD 3/29/13
Phoebe Jordan Born 3/20/13

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Re: Family Time Weekend Suggestions? LONG (andreahshields)

  • I second the zoo or aquarium. DS loves both (most of the time he watches the people instead of the animals, but he still has fun).

    As for getting YH more involved, I completely get it. MH is also a good guy and a good father, but sometimes I think men just function differently. I always have to give DH suggestions on how to entertain DS. He is more than willing to do them once I give him instructions. It is the same when it comes to bathing and feeding. He always looks for direction. At times I get frustrated, but then I remind myself that at least he is willing.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie - (B9PH)

     

    Lilypie - (0YVF)
     TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)

    BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d

    BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13

    BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks

    BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby 

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  • @Mom2anAngel2 EXACTLY!  I'm so glad you get what I was saying!  He just needs direction, then he is more than willing to help.  I actually have a morning To-Do list hanging on the wall above her changing table so he knows what to do, ha!  It says stuff like take off her jammies, put lotion on her legs and arms but not her hands because she puts them in her mouth.  Yes, he needs that level of detail if I'm not there to guide him.

    I like both ideas of the zoo and aquarium.  I've been wanting to do both for a while, but zoo may be out just because we're in Texas and it's friggin HOT outside.

    *** aka: andreahshields ***

    *** July Siggy Challenge - Cake Wrecks ***

    image

    BFP#1 3/8/12; diagnosed w/ Anencephaly at 12w6d; D&C 5/9/12
    BFP#2 7/18/12; A/S 10/26/12 It's a Girl! EDD 3/29/13
    Phoebe Jordan Born 3/20/13

    imageimage
  • Hahaha...I love the "to do" list. I wish I thought of that. DH has gotten much better with time. In the beginning I had to walk him through everything. Now it is just the "new" stuff. I usually have to prepare his lunch whenever DH is home with DS because he gets nervous about what to feed him. And I do get several texts and calls if "something" comes up during the day. He will probably get the hang of it just about the time we add another LO to the mix, hehehe. Then life will really get interesting.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie - (B9PH)

     

    Lilypie - (0YVF)
     TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)

    BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d

    BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13

    BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks

    BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby 

  •  
    I totally understand what you go through with DH. I have to remind him to feed her dinner on nights I go to the library to study after work (I'm in nursing school). I also have to remind him to change her out of her jammies into real clothes on Saturdays because I go to school from 8:00-2:00. I even lay out her outfit on the changing pad but if I don't remind him sometimes he lets her stay in her jammies all day :/ I just don't think they get it or realize what should be done. 
    I want to clarify that by dinner I mean her solid meal. He doesn't starve her! Haha.
    Haha!  I knew what you meant. :)  Yup, it must be a guy thing then or just a new dad thing.

    *** aka: andreahshields ***

    *** July Siggy Challenge - Cake Wrecks ***

    image

    BFP#1 3/8/12; diagnosed w/ Anencephaly at 12w6d; D&C 5/9/12
    BFP#2 7/18/12; A/S 10/26/12 It's a Girl! EDD 3/29/13
    Phoebe Jordan Born 3/20/13

    imageimage
  • mkc5869 said:

    P.S. As I was looking for a "hand hitting forhead" smiley I found this gem. b-( Totally using this the next time I talk about my MIL!!
    Ha, I love it!

    *** aka: andreahshields ***

    *** July Siggy Challenge - Cake Wrecks ***

    image

    BFP#1 3/8/12; diagnosed w/ Anencephaly at 12w6d; D&C 5/9/12
    BFP#2 7/18/12; A/S 10/26/12 It's a Girl! EDD 3/29/13
    Phoebe Jordan Born 3/20/13

    imageimage
  • I think most men are biologically incapable of multi tasking and competing with sports is difficult (sex can even be hard to get during a game), so I hear you on that!

    It has been a million degrees here too, so we have been going to the mall. We stroll around for a while and do some light shopping and also have lunch. There is so much that goes on at the mall that it is plenty of stimulation for a young baby. Next year, when he is older, we will do the park splash pad, etc. but for now it is just important that we get out of the house as a family every once and a while. If you are he'll bent on the zoo, go as early as possible. Before the football games start :)
    Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
    #1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
    IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
    #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
    #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
    H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
    #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
    M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!

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  • My husband does the same thing except he is addicted to his phone. He can't watch the boys without playing with it and he won't watch them more than 20 minutes.

    We did a great afternoon this summer to our local Exploratorium, which is kinda like a children's museum with hands on stuff. It's indoors. Is there something like that in your town? It worked out great. I am dying to do the zoo, aquarium, and horse park but it still has been pretty hot for DS2.

    We also have been taking the boys out to eat and then to the mall or the bookstore with a huge kid's area since DS1 loves books.
    TTC January 2010
    BFP #1 10-11-10 ectopic discovered 10-22-10, 10-23-10 methotrexate & emergency surgery, lost right tube BFP #2 12-1-10 Found to be tissue dropped from salingectomy or missed heterotopic pregnancy from BFP #1 BFP #3 1-30-11 DS arrived on due date 10-10-11 BFP #4 Surprise 9-3-12 EDD 5-9-13 DS2 arrived 5-5-13 BFP #5 5-14-14 Emergency D&C 6-16-14 9 weeks
  • jbranden12jbranden12 member
    edited September 2013
    I agree that getting out of the house is necessary. We are also in TX and I can't wait for cool weather so we can go on evening walks again. In the meantime we have hit museums, the aquarium, even just eating our way through Costco or Central Market is better than being trapped inside. I get it, though. I work full time and love my weekends with her but that doesn't mean I want to be "on duty" all weekend. I love family time and watching them together. DH is also a part time stay at home dad and by far the best thing I learned to do was let him do his own thing. I do have very detailed instructions on the wall of the laundry room, but babies are a little more flexible! When he is with Anna he does what works and I don't ask for every detail when I get home, just the highlights. They have their own routines. Hopefully your DH will slowly develop some with Phoebe!


      Our Angel Patricia born sleeping 3/30/12 at 31 weeks
    Our Fighter Anna born early 1/8/13 at 26 weeks
    Hoping to bring home #3 due 9/9/15
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