STM: Do I really need a doula?

JDeVost · September 2013

I'm a STM too. With my DS, I didn't use one. Normal birth, nothing crazy happened. But I'm getting a lot of people telling me I need a doula this time around. I know what I'm doing, so not sure if I need one.

ring_pop · September 2013

If you don't feel like you missed out last time, I don't think you really need one.

I'm sure they're nice to have, but I did fine without one, so I'm too cheap to hire one this time lol.

Momstheword83 · September 2013

I don't see why you need a doula if you have already given birth without one.

TradeMama · September 2013

I didn't have one... I had two natural deliveries and one C-section. I don't feel like I missed anything.

KariB509 · September 2013

I think it's a personal preference. I also didn't use a doula with DS and managed through it just fine. I don't plan on using one this time.

ellajune2012 · September 2013

I'm getting one because I've never done this before, so I have no idea what to expect, and because I want to have an unmedicated birth if at all possible, but NJ has some of the highest c-section rates in the country and most of the people I know who've given birth without either a doula or midwife have told me they felt that they were pushed into a c-section prematurely.

Also, I like the idea of giving DH some relief just in case my labor is really long or he needs help. Our doula works with your labor partner so they can also help.

It doesn't seem like that's your situation though, so I don't know if you'd find it helpful.

Stacyacker22 · September 2013

@ellajune2012....where in jersey r u and where r u delivering?

SurpriseAt39 · September 2013

No.
My opinion. You don't NEED one.
Women have given birth for centuries without doulas.

But, if you don't have another supportive person to be with you during labour, you might WANT one.

memo9 · September 2013

SurpriseAt39 said:

No. My opinion. You don't NEED one. Women have given birth for centuries without doulas. But, if you don't have another supportive person to be with you during labour, you might WANT one.

Not 100% true, they didn't have doulas per se, but they did have female friends and family members who were familiar with the birth process. We're so out of touch with birth that we no longer have that built in support. Hence the need for a doula.

aracelyluna · September 2013

I had a un-medicated birth with my son. I did not have a doula and will not have one this time around either. My husband was a great labor coach and a great advocate for me while I was in the hospital. I also had great nurses and an awesome doctor. My mom and MIL were also there with me, so they provided DH with any breaks he may need and brought me ice chips, cheered me on. So in a way I guess they served that role. I don't think doulas are a necessary person to have around, unless you feel that would really need that support.

YankeePeach08 · September 2013

-didn't use one with DS

-didn't feel like I missed out

-not even considering one with this birth

I never felt like DH needed "a break" through out MY 18 hour labor...but maybe I'm just a bitchy wife

) after all, he wasn't pushing a watermelon out his cooch.

Soxchick1 · September 2013

I just cringed at pushing a watermelon out my crotch lol. As a first time mom - that is so scary sounding lol

BrideNamedMeg · September 2013

ellajune2012 said:

I'm getting one because I've never done this before, so I have no idea what to expect, and because I want to have an unmedicated birth if at all possible, but NJ has some of the highest c-section rates in the country and most of the people I know who've given birth without either a doula or midwife have told me they felt that they were pushed into a c-section prematurely.

Also, I like the idea of giving DH some relief just in case my labor is really long or he needs help. Our doula works with your labor partner so they can also help.

It doesn't seem like that's your situation though, so I don't know if you'd find it helpful.

This was my main motivation for hiring a doula for my second when we didn't have one for the first. DH was VERY involved with my labor, he had to apply counter pressure to my tailbone with just about every contraction to help take the edge off my back labor. We were only in the hospital for about 6 hours before I had DD, but in that time he still had to go to the bathroom occasionally, have something to eat, etc. I was constantly calling him back to me when I needed help getting through a contraction. It would have been nice to have someone else there to switch off, the nurses were helpful, but not THAT helpful.

I loved having our doula at our homebirth for DS, but I'm not sure if we'll have her again for this one. My sister will probably be here and she should be able to give DH breaks when he needs them. Plus at home I don't need to worry about advocating for myself because no one can push me to get meds or a hasty c-section in my own bedroom!

Natty13umppo · September 2013

Didn't have one for the first one. The only reason I'm considering one this time is that we don't really have family in town and I liked the idea of having a doula as back up support in case DH was with DD waiting for family to get to town or something. I haven't really looked into it yet, so we'll see.

*Naea* · September 2013

I've had one with both my prior births, but am lucky enough to have a hospital with an integrated doula program. I don't want anyone other than my husband in the room with us familywise, and I appreciated the support and belly massages from my doula. Some of them are actually L&D nurses or CNAs in the maternity ward who do it on the side. Mine was one of the CNAs last time and she knew EVERYONE so she was a great person to have around. Will be registering for one again!

Nickiechan · September 2013

I am a STM and wish I had one with the birth of DS.... I already put a deposit down for one. My DS's birth went the way I wanted to, but wish I would have had that extra support. Not saying DH wasn't supportive, but my midwife sat with me for 6 hours in the hospital and it really was supposed to be the role of a Doula. When she came in to coach me it was light and day with me handling contractions.

Melbelle11 · September 2013

I don't think anyone NEEDS a doula. If you want one, go for it, but you have been through it before without, so unless you felt like you were missing anything, I would skip it.

hisbeautyalways · September 2013

I wish I had one when I birthed my son. An advocate who was not emotionally tied to the birth would have been great, as neither DH nor I were in the right state of mind to properly advocate for me.

However, I'm not hiring one this time either. I'm having a home birth with two midwives present, as well as other people. If I ever have another hospital birth, I will have a doula present though, because of my prior experience.

If you did fine last time, and know you have plenty of support/are capable of advocating for yourself, I wouldn't worry about it.

pattipants · September 2013

I'm giving birth with an awesome group of midwives, and DH and I are going to take hypnobirthing classes beforehand, so I'm hoping we'll be set with just those!

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