btdt i need a pep talk

JamieWM · September 2013

Jacob is 4 days old today and amazing...and scary and confusing and exhausting. DH started the police academy my first day home so I feel like a zombie hormonal monster. Please tell me it gets better sort of soon...

Nukke · September 2013

I'm not a BTDT mom, and can't really offer any support about your issue, but maybe just a little positive note. I just wanted to congratulate you and your DH for him starting the police academy. My DH is still applying to police forces across the province with no luck yet.

SweetPeaK26 · September 2013

The first month is all about survival. End of story. You don't need to do anything in your house or for/with other people. You just need to take care of you and baby. Everything/everyone else can be neglected.

It does get better, but it does take a good month before you feel like you've got the hang of things!!

michelle7482 · September 2013

It does get easier. I thought when DD was 3 wks old I reached a turning point. The first two wks were filled with anxiety and everything always felt like one big day that never ended. But it does get better. I cried a lot, but got through it and you will too!

PrettyInPearls23 · September 2013

Pretty much what @sweetpea said.

It takes a few weeks to get into the swing of things, but will get better! You'll soon find your new sense of normal. GL!

mrsmoxie · September 2013

I'm a FTM, but my sister has two kids, and the best advice she gave me was that all the hard times will pass! Everything will get better. I just hope I can remember that when its my turn with baby.

kat81 · September 2013

It DEFINITELY gets better. I'd say you have at least a couple more weeks of feeling like a hormonal zombie or whatever but it really will get better. Just depends on your definition of "soon."

kat81 · September 2013

SweetPeaK26 said:

The first month is all about survival. End of story. You don't need to do anything in your house or for/with other people. You just need to take care of you and baby. Everything/everyone else can be neglected. It does get better, but it does take a good month before you feel like you've got the hang of things!!

This is a good explanation. It's just survival for a little while. Don't even consider thinking about anything else during this time. Anyone who REALLY needs you for something can figure out a way to get in touch with you, but you should really expect to drop off the face of the planet for a month or so. But then you can emerge and it's really not so bad at all!!

KMD1106 · September 2013

DH went back to work today and I cried with DD this morning when she got up. I'm realizing that today and for anther couple of weeks at least, my day revolves around her. Our job right now is to tend to our LO's needs. As long as we are doing that, everything else can wait. I also made sure to get clean clothes on, brush my hair, and brush my teeth just so I can feel a bit human. I have to say my first day isn't as bad as I thought it would be even if I am a hormonal zombie right there with you! I'm trusting that each day will get a little bit easier and soon it'll be no big deal to spend all day alone with baby.

DaisyZH · September 2013

It does get better. It's so hard at first because you are hormonal, exhausted and everything is so new. Physically and emotionally I felt so much better after about 2 weeks, I still felt a bit "different" (mainly snappy and easily annoyed with others lol, although not DS or DH surprisingly) for I'd say 3-4 months.

It's such a vulnerable time, try your best to take care of yourself and like PPs have said let everything else slide. If it's not an absolute must-do then cut yourself some slack and try to enjoy this time.

Jenmarie279 · September 2013

I promise it gets better. With DS I was pretty much a zombie for the first month just trying to figure out my new life/routine, but then you find your flow and it just sorta works.

HeatherMc78 · September 2013

It gets better. I remember with DS1 thinking I am never going to sleep again. Pretty quickly we got into a routine. It seems like it will always be like this but I can tell you this place in time flies by. Try to enjoy your little one and take time for you. Best advice I heard from a mom when I was a ftm..if they are screaming they are breathing. It's ok if your little one cries . You are entitled to a bathroom break, shower or to finish eating. When DS2, came around I tried to remember how fast this time goes. It put a lot into perspective. That cute little face makes you forget all about the weeks of sleep deprivation. If it wasn't the case, I wouldn't be on #3.

Arielle27 · September 2013

It absolutely does get better! Jut take it one day at a time and streamline Everything else in your life! Do only what is absolutely necessary and get sleep anytime and anywhere you can!

JamieWM · September 2013

Thank you all....I appreciate all advice and words of encouragement.

Pockety · September 2013

As a FTM, it's a huge emotional change, having this little person who is 100 percent your responsibility, who you can never really get away from! It is scary and emotionally exhausting, and I believe that's why the first several weeks are so hard. As much as you love your baby, or maybe you aren't so attached yet and that's okay too, you probably also feel trapped and lonely and need to mourn your old life and freedom.

As a STM, I remember the newborn time as the most difficult! But right now, if someone would give me my newborn and take away my toddler for a week, so all I had to deal with was a newborn, I'd swear I was on vacation!!! Because I've already mourned my old life, and gotten used to being on call all the time.

Do your best to appreciate being able to watch your baby sleep, and how portable she is at the moment. Go out to restaurants with her in her car seat or a carrier, put her in a stroller and go shopping, or even to a movie. Once she gets mobile and vocal, all the activities will be all about her. For now, be selfish. And enjoy it!!

4Angel5 · September 2013

I second (4th, etc) SweatPea and KMD... Forget any other chores/tasks and focus on baby, but sneak in a 5-minute shower, brush your hair, change your clothes... You'll feel a little more human! Call a friend to vent now and then so you don't end up self-isolating...if they want to visit and you want company, remind them that you're focusing on baby, not the house (a true friend can overlook, or even help out with the mess).

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