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Intro

Kibbe&HaleyKibbe&Haley
in Blended Families
Hey. I have been lurking on this board since December. I'm on mobile so I don't post a lot. But since a new court appearance seems to be where we are headed I guess I'll intro in case I need advice.

I have a SD who is 2.5 EOWE. BM is only 18 and pretty immature about anything if it's not what she wants it doesn't happen. We have a court order but if it's not in the court order she has to fight. SD wasn't even at DH's college graduation because it was the Friday of Mother's Day weekend. Disappointing for us but SD obviously didn't know she missed out on much. Just an example. DH and I are 21 and expecting our first LO in March.
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Re: Intro

  • MrsHetzelMrsHetzel member
    Welcome to the board! Unfortunately, as it sounds like you've already found out, everything needs to be in black and white or drama ensues and the kids usually lose out. Hope if you have to go back to court that things go well for you, and congrats on your LO!
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  • hopankahopanka member
    Was your H charged with statutory rape?
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  • Kibbe&HaleyKibbe&Haley
    No he was 17 at the time of conception and not considered rape where we live. Does it matter to you at all?
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  • hopankahopanka member
    Kinda...if you are bothered by the fact That BM is immature, you have to understand she is a teen who gave birth well before she should have. and yes, i do side eye a man/boy who procreates with a 15 year old.
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  • fellesferiefellesferie member
    Sigh.

    I've typed and deleted three or four different responses, because it's so hard to figure out the right thing to say here. 

    It seems so inappropriate for a 21-yo to complain about an 18-yo being immature. Of course she's immature. So are you & YH. So was I at 21 and 18. This is why it's not usually recommended that people start families as teenagers. 

    Why would you have even wanted to take a 2-yo to a college graduation? That sounds unfun for the child and for the adult responsible for keeping track of her. It is too bad that BM is inflexible, but you cannot fault her for sticking with a CO that both parties agreed to. In blended fams, we're all a bit at the mercy of the other bio parent. 

    You may not think it's relevant that YH and his ex were children when they conceived their child, but it is. 
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    I'm going to jump in here, because I was a teenage mother. I had my son when I was 16 (DC was 17), and he came to my High School graduation when he was just under a year old. It meant a lot to me that he be there. I cannot imagine working so hard to graduate High School or college and NOT having my child there.

    That being said, I don't view BM sticking to the CO as her being immature. There's a CO for a reason. And quite truthfully, I'm not sure I'd be willing to give up time with my child during Mother's Day weekend.
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  • SigirSigir member
    Ita w many of the ppers. Obviously the horse is out of the barn for you and your bf, and I wish you luck and peace. But your situation sounds like it is going to be very challenging. Bm got pregnant at 15, I can see why she might be immature, but honestly there is nothing immature about sticking to a co. And as a bm myself I would not give up Mother's Day w a 2 yr old for a bf's graduation. It stinks, but sometimes blended families stink.

    How long has he been seperated from the bm? How long have you been together? Just curious... I blame my divorce on the fact that I married too young and never got a chance to know myself, what I deserved, and what I wanted. So when i see other very young people getting tied down, I worry for them.
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  • NineoceansNineoceans member
    Welcome to the site! Feel free to ask any questions you may have. It is tough being a SM so join the club :)
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