Multiples with other kids

Topanga · September 2013

I am concerned how I am going to juggle all of this. I have a 5 year old that is in first grade and a 1 year old who will be 1.5 when the twins are born. The 1 year old and the twins are all boys. Is anyone in a similar situation. How do you juggle it all?

agooseman · September 2013

I also have four kids and my twins are the youngest. When the twins were born, my older two were still 2 and 3. It was a challenging first year! We are blessed to have lots of family here and they've been a huge help. I know I will always have a busy house, but that it will get easier as they get older.

LottaLattes · September 2013

Well, I'd see if you can share carpooling or walking to the bus or whatever if you can. It is doable but just hella easier to get out of the house once not twice a day. And if you are able, hire a mother's helper to come help with the twins so you can focus on the 1.5 year old a little during the day. Good luck, it'll be doable if not a bit nuts!

Lil Kate · September 2013

Accept as much help as possible. The first 8-12 weeks are really demanding and you don't want your older ones lost in the shuffle. I would see about getting rides for your older one. Can u get a mothers helper or babysitter? Do u have family around. At 3 months it is much easier.... I can do it on my own with a 3 yo and 5 up and the twins but it is a really long rough day. I prefer to have help whenever possible.... Just remember you can only do the best u can... No one is perfect. It's a long road but an amazing one... This board is super helpful too

good luck!

carrotcake06 · September 2013

I have a 3yo and 2mo olds twins. All boys.

My 3yo goes to FT daycare and that is really one of the main reasons I can do it on my own most days. Even then, I accept help from family whenever they're willing to come hang out and hold a baby.

ktjruss03 · September 2013

DS is 3 and my twin boys are 7 weeks tomorrow. My 3 year old only goes to daycare/preschool 1 day a week and it has been challenging to say the least. The first few weeks I had help from my inlaws with DS and then my mom visited for a week. I had a csection and DH had to go back to work right away. I am home all day with 3 boys and then during the week I do all night feedings too so DH can sleep. I am going back to work part time starting tomorrow and I am very excited to be going back! I miss my friends and coworkers! I also love my job (pediatric nurse) and have missed it tremendously. DH aunt is going to watch the twins the couple of days a week I work and that makes me feel much better about going back.

You have to accept help when someone offers (I am not good at this). You also have to cut yourself some slack and know that there will be tough days and good days. We had some really rough days with DS when the babies were eating constantly, fussing, you name it. I am just now starting to feel like I am coming out of a fog and yesterday took all 3 to the grocery store by myself. The past 7 weeks have pretty much been a blur though!

As hard as some days have been, it is definitely worth it. I know this is just a phase and I can't wait until the twins are old enough that all 3 boys can play together!!! Good luck to you.

Topanga · September 2013

Thanks ladies. I am not good at accepting help either because the help always frustrates me and makes me miserable. I am hoping to find someone that can help but not be on my nerves at the same time. There will be lots of adjustments happening for sure!

ktjruss03 · September 2013

Topanga said:

Thanks ladies. I am not good at accepting help either because the help always frustrates me and makes me miserable. I am hoping to find someone that can help but not be on my nerves at the same time. There will be lots of adjustments happening for sure!

That is me exactly. I need to learn to except whatever help is offered, but I am such a control freak it's easier to do it all myself. I had a lot of older women I work with offer to come "help" as in hold babies. But that wasn't what I needed help with. Not to mention I didn't want to feel like I had to chat or entertain someone I didn't know all that well!

sparkman-to-be · September 2013

When our twins arrive, I'll have a 4yo and 20m old. I am anxious about how it'll all work out but I also know that it will so I don't stress it as much as I did when I first learned I was expecting twins. I was on bed rest from 13-16w and had to quickly learn to accept help, something I've never been able to do before. I learned that people don't offer unless they genuinely feel like helping and that they get so much satisfaction out of it. Me saying no, was practically depriving them of some sort of temporary happiness. This is what I began to realize and tell myself as I was already inclined to say no to all offers. If there was any positive that came from being on bed rest, it was this lesson alone. I now know and plan to take any and all help offered after twins arrive. :-)

carrotcake06 · September 2013

The type of help definitely matters. We had some pple (who shall remain nameless) think that making a big elaborate dinner and leaving us to clean the dishes, inviting other random people over and watching TV all day to be "helping". Then we had others who did loads of laundry, dishes, held babies and played w our 3yo. They were the helpful ones.

At first, I didnt want to say anything to the unhelpful ones. Then I thought eff it and started "suggesting" they do certain things around the house.

LucyRicardo3 · September 2013

Yes, get something lined up for carpool or bus stop supervision, if possible. Maybe if another mom will take your oldest TO school, you can work out pickup, or vice versa? That double trip to the school was a doozy for me, so if you can eliminate at least one and try and get your nap routine around it, it will be a help.

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