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Article. Ew.

Re: Article. Ew.

  • fellesferiefellesferie member
    Holy shit.

    How are there no friends/family in these people lives asking what happened to the children?? 
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  • twister22twister22 member
    How disgusting.
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  • NineoceansNineoceans member
    Where are the agencies doing follow up post placement care? The adoption agencies who made the original placement are responsible for the children's welfare and well being.

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  • xmaryrickxxmaryrickx member
    edited September 2013
    I read that a few days ago. Honestly, it doesn't surprise me. People are nothing if not cruel and we live in a disposable society, where not even life is valued, which is illustrated on these boards time and time again (hello pet dumpers, looking at you).
    This seems like an appropriate place for a quote from the very wise Sirius Black:


    "If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."
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  • fellesferiefellesferie member
    Pets and humans are not the same. I do not value my pets' lives the same as my childrens'. Just because someone would rehome a pet (I have once) doesn't mean they would rehome a child. 

    Our society is certainly far too disposable, though. It astounds me how much shit I get from people because I don't have paper plates in my house.
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  • xmaryrickxxmaryrickx member
    fellesferie said:

    Pets and humans are not the same. I do not value my pets' lives the same as my childrens'. Just because someone would rehome a pet (I have once) doesn't mean they would rehome a child. 


    Our society is certainly far too disposable, though. It astounds me how much shit I get from people because I don't have paper plates in my house.
    I am not saying pets and humans are the same. BUT the above quote definitely applies. How we treat our inferiors (pets and children included, since children are incapable of caring for themselves) say a great deal about a persons character. To look into the eyes of a living being who is dependent solely on you for comfort, care, love, and protection, and push them off on to someone else bc it isn't convenient for you, says something. If you disagree, that's your prerogative.
    Though Ghandi would disagree.
    "The greatness of a nation and it's moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated."



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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    This is not shocking and not new. And on top of how horrible it is for the kids involved it is also likely to result in shutting down some very good legitimate international adoption countries. There was that Russian boy returned last year or the year before whih lead Russia to temporary halt international adoptions.

    And do not take my comments as condoning at all but here are my thoughts. These are people that adopted internationally and spent thousands and thousands of dollars to have a child. I am sure there are some that did not have the best of intention but the vast majority of the adopters wanted to give a better life to an older child. Virtually all older children that are adopted are considered special needs for at the very least emotional issues. The new parents bring home the kids and there is no help for them when the problems of the children are too great. Yes they are somewhat warned but no one can really know what it is to raise a child that has been institutionalized their whole lives or a huge part of it. Most of the kids in failed adoptions are older kids in orphanages in countries where they are not adequately cared for including health, education, food and most importantly love. Some will come to the US and adapt but many will never bond and will have serious mental health issues (read the stories about the Romanian kids adopted in the 80s.). The adoption agencies do not offer enough help for these families when problems arise. And some parents have an adoption version of PPD.

    And I am not saying it is not beyond horrible but think about how many people on here have washed their hands of kids or been told to walk away before things get more serious? In BF situations it does not seem like as big of a deal because the kids hav other parents but most people in these situations are having way worse problems than we have on BF.

    I am not condoning at all but I think that a partially broken system needs to be evaluated.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • fellesferiefellesferie member
    I don't disagree with the JKR quote, mary. 

    I do disagree with the presumption that rehoming a pet is necessarily a bad thing for the pet. 

    I love my GSD. I really do. I do a LOT for her at my inconvenience, and I'm happy to do it. But if she ever acted aggressively towards my kids, it wouldn't even be a choice for me. The stakes are just too high.

    We go to great lengths to make sure that doesn't happen, but there are no guarantees. I don't think that makes me a bad or cruel person.


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  • xmaryrickxxmaryrickx member
    Littlejen22 said:

    This is not shocking and not new. And on top of how horrible it is for the kids involved it is also likely to result in shutting down some very good legitimate international adoption countries. There was that Russian boy returned last year or the year before whih lead Russia to temporary halt international adoptions.

    And do not take my comments as condoning at all but here are my thoughts. These are people that adopted internationally and spent thousands and thousands of dollars to have a child. I am sure there are some that did not have the best of intention but the vast majority of the adopters wanted to give a better life to an older child. Virtually all older children that are adopted are considered special needs for at the very least emotional issues. The new parents bring home the kids and there is no help for them when the problems of the children are too great. Yes they are somewhat warned but no one can really know what it is to raise a child that has been institutionalized their whole lives or a huge part of it. Most of the kids in failed adoptions are older kids in orphanages in countries where they are not adequately cared for including health, education, food and most importantly love. Some will come to the US and adapt but many will never bond and will have serious mental health issues (read the stories about the Romanian kids adopted in the 80s.). The adoption agencies do not offer enough help for these families when problems arise. And some parents have an adoption version of PPD.

    And I am not saying it is not beyond horrible but think about how many people on here have washed their hands of kids or been told to walk away before things get more serious? In BF situations it does not seem like as big of a deal because the kids hav other parents but most people in these situations are having way worse problems than we have on BF.

    I am not condoning at all but I think that a partially broken system needs to be evaluated.

    I think the break in the system comes from people adopting through less than reputable means. Reputable agencies prepare prospective parents for the realities of adoption, and have resources for them when things get hard. They stay available to the families, and try to ensure success, and are there to help when failures do happen. While on the surface it seems well regulated it absolutely is not. There are hundreds of "agencies" throughout this country that are really nothing more than child traffickers. They don't care where the children came from or where they go, and so these things happen. It's often much easier (cheaper) to deal with the nefarious agencies than it is to deal with those who are legitimate and are looking out for everyone's best interests.

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  • xmaryrickxxmaryrickx member
    fellesferie said:

    I don't disagree with the JKR quote, mary. 


    We go to great lengths to make sure that doesn't happen, but there are no guarantees. I don't think that makes me a bad or cruel person.


    Again, you are entitled to your opinion. I am not going to change mine-IMO most rehoming situations are avoidable and the humans fault. And to me, it says a lot about a persons character. I am not saying YOU are a bad person.
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    About animals I am so glad my son's dog allergy is not as severe as his cat allergy because if you see his eye blow up when he touches the couch that a cat sat on I can say that as much as I love my dog I would have no choice. He could never live with a car. And after our 13yo dog passes away we probably will not get another for many reasons but allergies being one of them. I am very against people rehoming because they just did not try enough or think enough but I can see some legit reasons.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • xmaryrickxxmaryrickx member
    Littlejen22 said:

    About animals I am so glad my son's dog allergy is not as severe as his cat allergy because if you see his eye blow up when he touches the couch that a cat sat on I can say that as much as I love my dog I would have no choice. He could never live with a car. And after our 13yo dog passes away we probably will not get another for many reasons but allergies being one of them. I am very against people rehoming because they just did not try enough or think enough but I can see some legit reasons.

    I think severe allergies are totally understandable. I have such severe attacks around cats I should be hospitalized. I get that there are some reasons that are just unavoidable. BUT in most cases they are avoidable. Mild allergies are treatable. Aggression in an otherwise docile dog is usually bc the dog was put in an inappropriate situation, or is in pain. And often times what parent see as aggresion is not at all-a Dog Growling or a snap is Them saying i am uncomfortable please do not do that. It is the appropriate reaction that you WANT to see-when dogs are trained not to react that way when uncomfortable that is when you see real aggression. Don't have enough time? Make some. Had kids? So what. Need to move? Find some place that allows pets. Life altering allergies are not the same as any of the above.
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  • NineoceansNineoceans member
    Littlejen22 said:

    This is not shocking and not new. And on top of how horrible it is for the kids involved it is also likely to result in shutting down some very good legitimate international adoption countries. There was that Russian boy returned last year or the year before whih lead Russia to temporary halt international adoptions.

    And do not take my comments as condoning at all but here are my thoughts. These are people that adopted internationally and spent thousands and thousands of dollars to have a child. I am sure there are some that did not have the best of intention but the vast majority of the adopters wanted to give a better life to an older child. Virtually all older children that are adopted are considered special needs for at the very least emotional issues. The new parents bring home the kids and there is no help for them when the problems of the children are too great. Yes they are somewhat warned but no one can really know what it is to raise a child that has been institutionalized their whole lives or a huge part of it. Most of the kids in failed adoptions are older kids in orphanages in countries where they are not adequately cared for including health, education, food and most importantly love. Some will come to the US and adapt but many will never bond and will have serious mental health issues (read the stories about the Romanian kids adopted in the 80s.). The adoption agencies do not offer enough help for these families when problems arise. And some parents have an adoption version of PPD.

    And I am not saying it is not beyond horrible but think about how many people on here have washed their hands of kids or been told to walk away before things get more serious? In BF situations it does not seem like as big of a deal because the kids hav other parents but most people in these situations are having way worse problems than we have on BF.

    I am not condoning at all but I think that a partially broken system needs to be evaluated.

    I totally agree which is why it is on the agency to set up follow up counseling and support for kids and families. After these families spend thousands it shouldn't be on them to try to locate alternative homes or get to the point where they hate the child
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