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February 2014 Moms
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Angry at DH /vent

KTdiditKTdidit member
in February 2014 Moms
Over the past few days DH and I have been discussing any home improvements we need to do before we put our house up for sale. I just tried explaining to him the difference between laminate and engineered wood flooring and he just looked at me and said "I really don't care. Do whatever you want" I'm seeing red right now. He won't help me make a decision about what kind of bed to get DS either. So much for marriage being a damn partnership.
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Re: Angry at DH /vent

  • KTdiditKTdidit member
    It's not even a question of "should we get white or oak"? It's "should we buy the basic frame and headboard from the resale shop, or accept my parents offer to buy DS a bed as a Christmas present?" And he can't be overwhelmed if he doesn't even try to discuss it. So aggravated right now
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  • CodypupCodypup member
    That sounds frustrating. 

    You want help in making decisions that affect both of you, and he's unwilling to help. You don't want to do this all by yourself, and you don't want it all on your shoulders. Getting a house ready for sale is a big deal and super stressful, so I understand your frustration. Could you approach this again later, when you're less angry? 

    I have to admit...it is slightly amusing that you're fighting about flooring. But I totally get it - I flipped my shit on my H yesterday over the ice maker. And last week I flipped because he stole a tomato off my plate. It's funny to me now, but it totallllly was not funny in the moment. 

    ANYway, I think the bigger issue is that you want to be team, and he's not playing. It warrants another, calmer conversation I think. Or, if that doesn't work...a nice ass kicking?
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  • applejacks3232applejacks3232 member
    I'm sorry you're frustrated, I know how you feel.  That is my husband's response to pretty much everything :)
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  • KTdiditKTdidit member
    Yeah flooring isnt something to get that mad over. I'm just tired of making all the big decisions alone.
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  • Kedra231Kedra231 member
    My husband doesn't seem to care either.  As long as I don't bankrupt us, he doesn't care.  While NOT on level with your issues, for example, I bought DD 5 pairs of good quality jeans with the elastic adjustable waist in sizes 7 & 8 that looked brand new, like fresh from the store, & I only spent $4.  

    I think my most expensive purchase was a like-new Nemo twin-size comforter for $3, & a twin-sized Spongebob comforter for $3, but I also picked up a brand new fall jacket, & several bags of clothes that were in great shape/barely worn, for just a little bit of nothing.

    I was proud of myself (we're on a very tight budget right now until the medical bills & the 401K loan for the minivan is paid off & more), so I was happy.  He didn't care, didn't want to see...it was like I hadn't done or contributed anything. 

    Apparently, men & women take pride in different things, but, I listen & pretend to give a damn when it's something he's accomplished, I'd like the same respect.  He sat down tonight & went through a bag & a box of it, but that's all so far, so it was like a half-@$$ attempt at looking like he cared.

    Don't kill your DH...you might feel differently tomorrow.  And if not, remind him if he refuses to give his opinion, then he gets NO vote/right to complain once the job is done/the item is purchased.
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  • calimama2007calimama2007 member
    My DH can be like that too, it's very frustrating!

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  • bugandbibsbugandbibs member
    It sucks that you are feeling unsupportive. I hope things improve soon.
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  • keags5496keags5496 member
    My DH can be like that too. With him though, I've learned if he truly cares he gives an opinion so he'd never come back and criticize a decision I made of he didnt care. I've found that if I tell him that I don't care either (when i truly don't) and ask for his help anyway, he'll offer it. Maybe give that a shot?
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  • KTdiditKTdidit member
    Well I'm definitely not as angry today as I was last night. Between DH and DS I had ZERO patience by the end of the night. I contacted a local real estate agent today to start the process of figuring out what would even benefit us regarding updates to the house. Its possible that I don't even need to give flooring another thought. So yeah, I def have more of a level head today! Thanks for understanding that it wasn't all about the floor dammit!!! lol
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  • KTdiditKTdidit member

    @katybriggs yes it was. I'm kind of hoping that the realtor will tell me it won't be beneficial so I don't have to worry about it. The only upside to getting flooring befoire we sell is that I'd get to enjoy nice floors for a bit.

    And I know, I'm very lucky that we don't fight about anything too important.

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