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LO cries with inlaws

katfazkatfaz member
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months
LO has seen MIL/FIL about once a week since birth.  She is now 4.5 months old and lately has been experiencing stranger anxiety.  She doesn't do well with unfamiliar faces.  When my in-laws come over we try to get her accustomed to taking a bottle from them and all she wants to do is cry.  She screams and gets herself all worked up until I take her back and calm her down.  We've tried 3 different attempts to have them feed her and each time LO has gotten very upset around them.  She gets this fearful look in her face when they hold her.  I try to stay close by and reassure her that everything is okay, but her bottom lip quivers and the tears start.  It's heartbreaking because I don't want MIL & FIL to take it personally and think that she doesn't like them.  She is a smiley, laughey, happy baby all other times except for when she gets passed off to strangers, especially my in-laws. 

Has anyone else experienced this and can offer any tips or reassurance for me that my LO isn't the only one?
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Re: LO cries with inlaws

  • ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
    Leave her with them.  Like, literally leave.  Often it's not that they have an issue with a particular person, it's that they have an issue that they know you're there but you aren't the one interacting with them.  If you are physically not there a lot of babies tend to adapt better.
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • cjl5072cjl5072 member
    I don't have any tips for you, but you aren't alone! My baby does the same thing. She cries everytime my MIL or FIL hold her and sometimes cries if they just look at her. It doesn't matter if I am around or not. I really am clueless as to what she is crying about at this point, because she doesn't cry with my friends... And she sees them way less than she sees my in laws.
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  • katfazkatfaz member
    elmoali said:
    Leave her with them.  Like, literally leave.  Often it's not that they have an issue with a particular person, it's that they have an issue that they know you're there but you aren't the one interacting with them.  If you are physically not there a lot of babies tend to adapt better.
    Thanks for the suggestion, but we have tried that.  We have left her and they called us and asked us to come back because she was inconsolable and they couldn't calm her down.  Which is why we took the approach of staying close by and reassuring her.  Neither seem to work at this point.
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  • KMK51KMK51
    My 3 year old DD did the exact same thing with my in laws. We would go to a movie or dinner and come home to a screaming baby. They would tell us she was inconsolable the entire time. I was kinda mad they didn't call us at the time but looking back I'm glad they didn't. She now loves when they babysit her and wears my mil out! It was a phase and she eventually stopped. I want to say around 15 months, or a year. (Sorry, I'm sure that's not what u want to hear). Every baby is different so just keep doing what your doing. One day she won't leave them alone wanting their attention. :-)
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  • markhamgurlmarkhamgurl member
    Oh my. DH and I had exactly the same problem with DD (she's now 6 mos). About a month ago she started "making strange" with my in-laws. If we took her over to their house, she'd look around the room, realize she didn't recognize any of the faces, and wailed. My MIL would instruct me to "just go" whenever I had her over to babysit, which I wasn't entirely okay with, because I knew if we took the time to keep re-introducing her to DD instead, there wouldn't have been such drama and tears! Anyway, we found it helped if we continued to hold her for 10-15 mins after arriving to let her get used to the new (again) faces before allowing others to hold her, or even before putting her on the floor to play. We also found she reacted badly if people approached, looked at, or talked directly to her. It was as though she didn't like the attention, so we just asked people to speak to us instead of her, until we felt she had warmed up to the situation. She's been much better lately and we had no problems last time we visited the in-laws. I don't think this stage lasts very long, so don't fret too much.
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