Where to have baby sleep??

LAE1982 · September 2013

Our house is a small, two bedroom bungalo. The babies room is right on the other side of our bedroom wall. Now, I don't have room in our bedroom for a basanet, so I'm asking what to do. I'm a FTM and don't know if baby should come home and sleep in their crib in their room, or should I figure something out and make room for a basanet in our room? What have you STM done???

Mamackf · September 2013

I have always kept mine close when first come home I would figure something out but that's me

YankeePeach08 · September 2013

DS slept in our room for the first 4-6 weeks. Around that time I would put him to bed in the PNP in our room then after his middle of the night feed I would put him back down in his crib.

I started to notice around 4 ish weeks that he grunts and squeaks a lot in his sleep. I would wake up from these little noises and think that he needed to eat but he was still asleep. Me and DH slept much better after he started sleeping in his own room.

We will probably start the twins out in our room in a PNP, but I'm not sure how long they will stay there before going to their own room.

I think it is good to have a plan but also to realize you have to be flexible and some things/plans will change once baby arrives.

Donniesgrrl · September 2013

Personally for ease of getting up int he night, I would recommend having baby in your room for the first 3 months at least. It makes it less disruptive to you if you can just roll over and grab baby when they are fussing than having to go to a whole other room. We had DS in a co sleeper (Arms reach) that was right next to the bed because of small space.

https://www.armsreach.com/shop/co-sleeper_bassinets/clear-vue-co-sleeper-bassinet

jwls84 · September 2013

We live in a tiny 2 bedroom. We squeezed our bassinet in our room, it really didn't fit and our room looked ridiculous, but I loved have B right next to me! I could nurse him easy, check on him or just stare at him while he slept. For me it was worth the cramped room. We looked for a small bassinet and jammed it in. This time, we have bought a bigger house and have a big master bedroom, so it'll be easier. But even if we were staying in our current house this LO would be in our room for sure.

ring_pop · September 2013

I preferred to have him in our room in the beginning - it was easier to handle the frequent wake-ups and nursing. But lots of moms have babies in their cribs from day one. If you do want to have baby in your room, could you maybe fit a RNP in your bedroom?

parenthood4 · September 2013

Carter slept in our room for the first six months, and I plan to do the same with this one. We had a rock n play, co sleeper, and swing in there (ridiculous, I know) and mainly used the rock n play. I want to use the co sleeper more with this baby, if this baby cooperates with that plan

jazzyexpo · September 2013

Also you can wait and see what baby likes. Dd hated her bassinet and crib. The only way I could get her to sleep for longer periods of time, was having her sleep on me. Just keep it in mind.

BuckeyeWife07 · September 2013

If you're nursery is really close, I don't see a problem with putting baby in there. Neither of my girls liked the bassinet much - though I did try it for about a week with each and then put them in the nursery crib. However, I always went to the rocking chair in the nursery to nurse regardless, since there wasn't a place to go in our room - we have a metal frame bed so it's not a solid back or anything and I'm way too afraid to nurse laying down when they are that little.

Hrose7091 · September 2013

My daughter still sleeps In the same room as us. Statistically speaking, your baby has a much lower chance of SIDS if in the same room as you, at least for the first six months. And it's way easier with a baby in your room when they're waking up every 2-3 hours to feed. Getting out of bed, waking to another room and feeding a baby will get really exhausting really quick. They make small bassinets.. Maybe move some stuff around. We bed shared (safely, of course) and dd slept with me alone for several months while hubby slept on couch because he worked two jobs and had to be up at 7am. Once she was bigger we all slept in the same bed and she recently transferred to her toddler bed in our room. You'll find what works for you..

HappyWife01 · September 2013

I thought it was recommended to sleep in the same room with your baby for the first 6 months to help reduce the risk of SIDS?

If your room cannot fit a bassinet or PnP, then could the nursery fit a twin size bed? That way you could sleep in the same room with the baby.

I would have slept in the nursery with G but my husband is a very sound sleeper and did not wake up during any of the nights I was up nursing her. It made me mad a little, lol. I will probably sleep in the nursery this time around because it really did bug me that he slept through all of it. Plus hopefully the baby will get use to sleeping in their nursery so we wouldn't have transition issues.

VineyardMel · September 2013

I tried to follow all of the SIDS prevention recommendations, so she slept in our room until just shy of 6mo. She was an awful sleeper and after 3wks of trying the PnP, the RnP, swing, bouncer, etc. we started bed sharing and did that for a few months. The real answer is wherever the baby will actually sleep, but there are good reasons to try to make that happen in your room if possible.

Hrose7091 · September 2013

kakesworld said:
Great question as I have been wondering about this too! I am a FTM as well so just curious, how do you deal with DH getting his rest before work. I am in the same boat as OP and wanting baby to be in room but my dilemma is wondering if we will be far too disruptive to DH. I am almost wondering if we should set up a twin bed in the nursery for me. Or maybe I this is dumb to be worrying about, I don't know.

I had the hubby sleep on the couch for awhile. I'd also like to say that just because the husband works doesn't mean he can't help at night. It's actually good for him to help as well... Even if its just getting up to grab a diaper or getting a bottle, etc. You're going to be so tired if you try and be super mom and do it by yourself every single night. I did that the first few months and ended up in the doctors office horribly dizzy, dehydrated and mentally exhausted. My daughter woke up every 2-3 hours at night to eat for the first 5 months. She would occasionally have longer stretches of 4-5 hours but it was never consistent. Just a tip. I definitely resented my husband for awhile because of this.

Kristen61607 · September 2013

My twins slept in their own room/cribs the day they came home from the hospital. Don't feel bad if this is the route you take! You will be in there every 2-3 hours to feed anyways, just get a monitor! Then you don't have to worry about "transitioning" either. My girls have always been amazing sleepers. They were sttn at 8 weeks.

SurpriseAt39 · September 2013

Personally, for me, nursing every 2-3 hours 24/7, I wanted LO in my room.

We set up the playpen and he slept in the bassinet portion for about 4-6 weeks.

When we traveled at Christmas he slept in bed with me.

We moved DS to his crib in his own room around 4-6 weeks because he started getting noisy which kept waking me.

As for DH's sleep being disturbed...he needs to suck it up. He helped make the baby, he can suffer the consequences too. If he doesn't like it, he can find somewhere else to sleep.

My DH never complained.

Hrose7091 · September 2013

@Dotgirl exactly. My best friend is a sahm and always did everything regarding the baby. The husband never took care of her, helped at night or even watched her while alone. Now she's 2 years old and he refuses to watch her alone. He says he can't. He refuses to give her a bath or make her dinner. It's sad, but I think because my friend always did everything he feels like he has no connection to his daughter and doesn't really know her or how to care for her. My husband on the other hand watches our daughter for 6-7 hours a night while I work four days a week. They have such a great relationship and he's so helpful. Anyway, that's my tip for ftms. The dad needs to help! It will strengthen their bond and he will know what to do if you're not around.

memali26 · September 2013

My girls were each in our room for the first 6 months. Partly because it helps to decrease the risk of SIDS if the baby sleeps in the same room as mom, and partly because I just liked having them close. I couldn't nurse, but it was nice to be near them at night and learn what was a waking sound vs sleeping sounds, and if they weren't waking for a feeding yet I could just stick a hand over and sush and pat them back to sleep without having to get out of bed!

As for DH's sleep being disturbed, meh. You'd be surprised what men can sleep through. And I do agree that if possible DH's should be helping at night. Not always possible depending on the situation, but if it is it makes it easier on mom and helps them bond with baby. When we needed to wake my older DD to eat every 2hrs in the beginning (weight gain/jaundice issues) DH took every other feeding, so we were each able to get about 4ish hours of sleep at a time.

tndalles · September 2013

kakesworld said:
Great question as I have been wondering about this too! I am a FTM as well so just curious, how do you deal with DH getting his rest before work. I am in the same boat as OP and wanting baby to be in room but my dilemma is wondering if we will be far too disruptive to DH. I am almost wondering if we should set up a twin bed in the nursery for me. Or maybe I this is dumb to be worrying about, I don't know.

I have the same issue. My DH is a very light sleeper.

JayNina · September 2013

Its up to you

Our bedroom is on the first level and the other rooms are upstairs so with DD she was in our room for almost a year.

JayNina · September 2013

bennieangel said:

KerrieH6 said:

Carter slept in our room for the first six months, and I plan to do the same with this one. We had a rock n play, co sleeper, and swing in there (ridiculous, I know) and mainly used the rock n play. I want to use the co sleeper more with this baby, if this baby cooperates with that plan

I'm a FTM too - so I don't have any experience, but I've read great reviews about the rock n' play & if you go check it out, it's not very big at all & can be folded & put away if not in use. This is what we plan to use. Has anyone else used them for the first few months??

Loved the rock n play! DD slept in this for 6 months!

KariB509 · September 2013

Our pack n play has a bassinet attachment so DS slept in that in our room for the first two weeks. Then we moved the pack n play into his bedroom. I don't think you necessarily HAVE to have your LO in the room with you. For me, it was just a matter of convenience because I was nursing. However, when DH went back to work, he's a light sleeper so me nursing the baby in bed would wake him and he'd have trouble falling back asleep. That's why we moved DS into his own room, right across the hall. I didn't have any problem with DS being in his own room at 2 weeks old. I kept a monitor by my bed and when he'd wake up I'd go nurse him on the couch.

memali26 · September 2013

kirotea said:

Cmmo14 said:

Personally i didn't see the point in having DH up at night. We didn't do diaper changes in the night (unless LO had pooped) and he needed his rest for work. LO slept in his room and I would go in and feed LO and come back and sleep with DH. Having said that, DH is the most hands-on dad i know. He always changes diapers, bathes LO every night, puts him to bed, keeps him all weekend on his own and sends me off on girl weekends. I honestly dont think making DH wake up in the middle of the night will make him help you, or stop him from helping you...

This. Plus, if he's the one who has to get up and go to work all day (for mine, that can be 10 or more hours, sometimes on his feet all day fixing production machines) and then come home and help with the baby before we go to bed, I'd rather let him get sleep. It's not going to make him a horrible father for sleeping through feedings at 2am.

IMO, working on heavy machinery counts toward "not always possible for dad to help at night." My DH is a teacher, and while he obviously needs sleep to do his job well, he and I both know he functions better on less sleep than I do, so he's willing to help once in a while if I am really in need of extra sleep. Doesn't make him a better dad than any other, just what works for us.

bran0915 · September 2013

You'll probably want him/her in e room with you when they first get home. At least for the first month probably. At least that's how I was and will be this time too

jazzyexpo · September 2013

Dh worked full time, but we still shared the responsibilities, even at night, 50/50. He helped make her, he can help take care of her. I worked full time also taking care of the baby. So either way we both worked all day.

JKS21 · September 2013

We had a pack-n-play in our room for the first months, then moved him into his own room/crib. With this baby, we will do the same - but leave the baby in our room longer, since the kids will be sharing a room.

clo1982 · September 2013

We had a bassinet in the room. DD slept in her car seat IN the bassinet for the first few weeks. It was the only way she'd sleep! After that we moved her. Newborns can be extremely noisy sleepers and if you are a light sleeper like I am, you will be up constantly with their chirping, gurgling, crying out, etc. Honestly just maybe wait and see and then do whatever works.

And really, there is no reason your DH should get to sleep through the night every night while you are up every 2 hours. Even if you are BF, he can change the baby afterward and get them back to sleep so you can rest. Your FT job is to take care of baby at first, but that doesn't mean he works 8 hour days while you work 24. Will he be tired at work? Yep. Just like you will be tired at home! Everyone's tired at first!

LAE1982 · September 2013

Thanks for all the advice ladies

Gemcc · September 2013

I understand the concerns about waking partners in the night but please read and pay attention to SIDS prevention guidelines, they are research based and it does suggest having your baby in the same room for the first 6 months at least.

ring_pop · September 2013

Gemcc said:

I understand the concerns about waking partners in the night but please read and pay attention to SIDS prevention guidelines, they are research based and it does suggest having your baby in the same room for the first 6 months at least.

Guidelines are all well and good but in the end, getting a baby to sleep is a survival mode thing and you just gotta do what works.

Gemcc · September 2013

Sure, but also in an informed way.

Natty13umppo · September 2013

Be prepared for either scenario.

I've known moms who swore the baby would never sleep in their room (pre-birth) and once the baby was home, the baby spent months in same room.

I've also known babies who were such noisy sleepers and/or wouldn't sleep in the PnP/bassinet/whatever is in your room and they would only sleep in their own crib.

So, not completely, helpful, I know. But, FWIW, we had DD sleep in our room for about 5 months, I think. The plan is that this one will spend the first ~6 months in our room, too. *I* think it is more convenient to have the baby in your room, but YMMV.

aracelyluna · September 2013

DS slept in our room until he was about 6 months old. He was in the bassinet until about 3-4 months and then the pack n play or in our bed if DH was traveling he slept in the bed with me. The first 3 months were super hard for me. DS was failure to thrive so I was supplementing formula with BM while my supply established. So in the first few months DH would make the bottle while I breast fed and then he would feed bottle and I would go to sleep. We only did one bottle a night and the rest was me nursing. So it wasn't as hard on DH since he had to work. DH literally can sleep through anything so it didn't bother him to hear baby in there crying. I literally had to kick him a few times to get him up to make a bottle. Looking back it worked out it was a few nights of lack of sleep and then it all fell into place. This baby will probably be in our room as well until we move him to a his/her crib. We have yet to figure out sleeping arrangements for them once this happens.

angelsnight · September 2013

dotgirl2 said:

Hrose7091 said:

Great question as I have been wondering about this too! I am a FTM as well so just curious, how do you deal with DH getting his rest before work. I am in the same boat as OP and wanting baby to be in room but my dilemma is wondering if we will be far too disruptive to DH. I am almost wondering if we should set up a twin bed in the nursery for me. Or maybe I this is dumb to be worrying about, I don't know.
I had the hubby sleep on the couch for awhile. I'd also like to say that just because the husband works doesn't mean he can't help at night. It's actually good for him to help as well... Even if its just getting up to grab a diaper or getting a bottle, etc. You're going to be so tired if you try and be super mom and do it by yourself every single night. I did that the first few months and ended up in the doctors office horribly dizzy, dehydrated and mentally exhausted. My daughter woke up every 2-3 hours at night to eat for the first 5 months. She would occasionally have longer stretches of 4-5 hours but it was never consistent. Just a tip. I definitely resented my husband for awhile because of this.
Agreed. DH worked one full time and two part time jobs when DD was born, and he got up with me every time she cried for food or a diaper. I nursed, so he couldn't help with that, but he was very good about diapers. This is a team effort, and even though you won't be working outside the home (during mat leave, or as a SAHM), DH will have to help at night.

Totally agree. Just because the woman may be home on mat leave or a SAHM, doesn't mean she doesn't need sleep and can be woken up all night. The baby is his too, he can help out and/or be woken up just the same.

To answer the OP, we plan for LO to sleep in their crib in the nursery. I don't think I would get any sleep if the baby were in our room because I would be checking on him/her every second. I also actually want the walk from our room (nursery is just down the hall) to the nursery to wake up a bit...it kind of makes me nervous to think of just getting up half asleep and falling back to sleep while nursing. I realize it may not work out this way, but a crib is a baby's bed, I personally don't understand having a pre-bed before the baby sleeps in it's bed.

MA&CB · September 2013

Our DS slept in our room in a PnP or in our bed up until a year. I certainly didn't plan it that way, but that ended up being how I got the most sleep. I primarily did all the waking up because I was BF'ing. It didn't make sense to me to make us both get up when I had to be up anyway. During maternity leave, I could sleep during the day to make up for it. It meant I was very tired at work, but I would have been even if I had made DH get up too, I didn't see the sense in both of us being exhausted every day. We'll keep this baby in our room for a while, I expect, but I'm thinking I'll probably try to transition to the crib a little sooner this time around. I think it's different for everyone and depends on the baby too.

Hrose7091 · September 2013

Cmmo14 said:
Personally i didn't see the point in having DH up at night. We didn't do diaper changes in the night (unless LO had pooped) and he needed his rest for work. LO slept in his room and I would go in and feed LO and come back and sleep with DH. Having said that, DH is the most hands-on dad i know. He always changes diapers, bathes LO every night, puts him to bed, keeps him all weekend on his own and sends me off on girl weekends. I honestly dont think making DH wake up in the middle of the night will make him help you, or stop him from helping you...

Sure but if the mom takes over on every aspect of caring for the child the dad can feel lost in the whole thing and not know HOW to help. It also depends on the situation. If your child is sleeping well and you're getting a four or five hour stretch that's different than a baby that wakes every two hours all night long like mine did. I needed help to continue functioning at that point. The brain needs at least a four to five hour stretch of sleep otherwise over time it begins shutting down which is why I experienced dizziness and confusion. I find that IF POSSIBLE the dad should be helping out at night too, at least every once in awhile to give momma a break.

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