Do you have it together?

mediaperuana · September 2013

I went to a mommy meet up / play date group for the first time today, and spoke to another mom. She was wearing nice clothes. Makeup. Her hair was done. Or at least brushed. I felt like a troll.
I still have 14 pounds to lose, so most of my pre-baby clothes don't fit. Or if they do, they're not really convenient for breast feeding. I want to start working out, but it's hard to squeeze in when DS only naps for 30 minutes.
I haven't had a haircut in 7 months. I do manage mascara most days, but that's about it. I just can't seem to get it together! Anyone else? Suggestions?

wifeofadam · September 2013

I don't wear make-up anyways and I wear headcoverings for religious reasons, so that helps make it easier for me to get out the door feeling put together. But I still have baby weight to lose and none of my good clothes fit.

I don't have the option to spend hours getting ready every day. I need that time to take care of my family. It is what it is. Sometimes I look at moms that are really put together - nails done, great clothes, etc. and I wonder how they do it. Not only do I not have the time or energy, but I just don't have the money to spend on myself and my vanity. I need that time. money, and energy just to get through the day most of the time.

Puck1182 · September 2013

I kind of have to have it together now that I'm back at work. I'm a "professional" and have to look it, so I have a couple of tricks up my sleeve. Specifically, after LO is in bed for the night, choose an outfit for the next day, and shower before bed! Less to do in the morning, just get dressed, brush your teeth and put on a little makeup.

Oh and I usually just wear concealer, mascara and tinted chapstick. Maybe eyeshadow and eyeliner if I'm feeling ambitious. DD is very into giving slobbery kisses, so I don't mess with foundation or powder for now.

CocoR04 · September 2013

I am jealous of the mamas who look like they never had a baby. I still have about 20 lbs to lose (I've already lost 50!), so I try to step up the makeup and clothes to make myself feel prettier. Other than that, I have nothing else together!

jd614 · September 2013

I think it makes me feel better about myself when I am put together. I am dressed every day because I work, but I do that at 530am. If you want to be put together, maybe get up a half hour earlier and get ready for the day before LO wakes up. When I was on maternity leave, every day that I was leaving the house (which in feb there were def days I didnt!) I made sure to put a little make up on and make sure my hair was presentable (sometimes that just pulled back in a wet bun!) It just made me feel more human! Of course alot of people dont care about that-and thats totally fine too!! Point is...its easy to make it look like you have it all together, even when u dont:)

Funnurse81 · September 2013

Funny thing is I felt more put together four months ago than now. I lost all my pregnancy weight immediately and was 129lbs. Since I was on maternity leave I had time during the day to dress up before dh got home. Since going back to work I've gained 14lbs and it's very apparent. I am breast feeding and don't really have the option to diet. I haven't started working out yet. My nice pre-pregnancy clothes don't fit but I don't want to buy new clothes in my current size since I plan to lose the weight. Sigh...

kleigh926 · September 2013

I feel like I have it together most days, but my standards aren't very high. One thing I started doing was taking a shower at night before bed. It was much too stressful trying to shower in the morning when DD was awake and fussing. I wear no makeup except a little concealer if I have a blemish (but I never did wear much, so that's not a big deal to me). My hair is in a ponytail almost every day. Occasionally I'll put some mousse in it and let it air dry instead of pulling it back. Luckily I lost all the pregnancy weight thanks to BF'ing. If I hadn't, oh well because I don't work out beyond our daily walk. I know it's hard, but try not to compare yourself to others! It will just make you feel inadequate. At least that's what it does to me.

schwabmomma · September 2013

I hear ya! I blow-dried my hair today for the first time in months! Most days it's no makeup, ponytail straight out of the shower and throwing on something comfy I don't mind DS drooling on all day. It's tough, dirty work being a full time mom.

wifeofadam · September 2013

DC2London said:

i'm LOLing at getting up at half hour earlier to get ready. As soon as I climb out of bed, the baby wakes up. Doesn't matter how stealthy I am.

See in my house my DH wakes me up in the mornings when he is getting his shower for work. I'm able to slip out of bed without waking the baby, but once my feet hit the floor it is time to make everyone breakfast and deal with the older kids. And when you're still not STTN with a breastfeeding baby, that sleep is precious. There is no way I am waking up any earlier than I have to in order to get ready for the day.

I get a shower while all of my kids are awake. After breakfast the older three start playing and I bring the baby back to the bathroom with me and put her in the exersaucer. I have never not been able to get a shower every day, even with the four kids, but I'm just not willing to spend more than ten minutes putting my clothes on and throwing my hair up in a bun. Why put on expensive clothes or bother to do my hair? I'm going to end up with someone's bodily fluids on me by the end of the day and the jewelry will end up ripped out of my ears or off my neck.

MommyPhoenix · September 2013

Don't worry about other Mamas, we're all raising babies and have different ways of going about managing time!

The evening showers help a lot! I have long hair and braid it back out of the shower to get it out of the way and out of little hands and if/when I go out the next day, I'll wear it down and voila!..it "looks" coiffed and curly like I did my hair, haha

Light layers help too to look more dressed up but stay BF friendly (i.e. nursing tank with nicer cardigan or crossover blouse over top). A couple of strategic pieces to coordinate for outings will work wonders! These little tricks work for me

tamarar5 · September 2013

That would be a fat NO. Though the scale says I've lost the baby weight, nothing fits and I still look pregnant. My SIL just had a baby last week and she looks AMAZING. No pooch, nothing. Back in her pre prego clothes.

I can't wear my make up any more, i start itching the second i put it on, but don't have the money to look for something new. My hair its in that ugly stage that lasts about two years because i thought it would be good idea to cut it before E was born. I didn't want to buy more new clothes that hopefully won't fit for long, so that means I'm still wearing maternity clothes i bought a year ago and they look it. I look gross so I feel gross.

The only thing I've got going is that i do actually get my shower. I try to do it every other day because of dry skin, and DH will watch E for that long.

happylady5 · September 2013

Pssh I wish.

I will say....I do feel more together than ever and more like my old self. But it's just a new normal really. And one I gladly embrace. I'm on a schedule with my workouts, meal planning, and cleaning. And have started making sure I get together with friends during the week, So that helps. (I'm a SAHM).

I do still get stressed and worry about something with DS weekly. And I agree...I still sometimes feel like I have no clue what I'm doing. Usually in those moments when DS does something out of the ordinary. We've also got several health concerns (undescended testicle that needs surgery, flat spot and constant poop issues) that we're working through currently which causes worries and stress.

No matter the challenges, I feel so happy. And love life as a mom.

DublinMama · September 2013

I was just thinking the other day how funny it was that when I was in my early and mid 20s, getting ready was an hour long process on average. I wouldn't dream of going anywhere unless I was showered, hair done, and make up on. Nowadays, I don't even wear makeup most days and I can be out of the house in ten minutes if I need to. In fact, the idea of taking an hour to get ready sort of exhausts me. I don't know if I'm more self-assured in my older age or I have just let myself go lol.

downtown80 · September 2013

I feel like I have it together. This is baby #2 for me, so I feel better with my morning routine this time around.

I work part time. On days that I work, I am up before everyone else because I have to be at work by 7am. I actually enjoy that time by myself! I am able to do my hair, makeup, and look put together....all before the baby wakes. I get everything ready the night before - my clothes, kids clothes, lunches, pump parts, etc. On these days, I wake up the baby and feed and dress him before I head out the door. My husband is responsible for feeding the toddler, getting her dressed, and he brings the kids to daycare. Surprisingly, everyone is ready at the same time most days!

On days that I am home with the kids, I get ready while the baby is taking his first nap. Often times my toddler hops into the shower with me or just plays in the bathroom. I always manage to dry my hair and put on basic makeup, but total takes me about 30 mins. I don't go all out, but I still look presentable. I like to wear "real" clothes, not always sweats or yoga pants. To me, it's just as easy to put on shorts/jeans/shirt or a casual dress! I am nursing, so everything is still easy enough for that.

musicalmama5 · September 2013

Some days I feel "put together", others days no. We own our own business, so if I'm going to be there working, I need to be presentable. If I know I'm just going to be home all day, I don't worry so much about it.

eriannc22 · September 2013

She may have looked put together to you, but maybe she really feels just as frumpy and is doing her best to fake it. I hate fixing my hair these days. Hate it. Makeup isn't so bad. It's quick. I have fixed up days and super frump days, which I did before I got preggo, so I guess I'm back to "normal."

holly321 · September 2013

I have never in my adult life left the house in a t shirt or without makeup. I don't think it takes that long for me to get reedy. I am fortunate that I wear scrubs to work, but still, it takes less than 5 minutes to put make up and jewelry on. I get up at 5 everyday, to leave by 6:45. DS usually wakes up with me, if he does, he either plays in the bouncer or pack n play or the walker while I shower and then he has a bottle, after his bottle, I will run in and put doing make up and stuff.

jbatch · September 2013

I feel about as put together as ever.. But in a very low maintenance person.. I look decent but I'm not into jewelry and dressing up if I don't have to.. I have curly hair and all I do to it is put product in and scrunch.. So I guess it's not much different.. I've been back to work since lo was 6 weeks so I've had time to adjust and I really just love being a mom and working Nd it seems to be falling into place

kelly321 · September 2013

The weight is not coming off this time, so that's what's hurting my self-esteem the most. I shower every morning before DH leaves for work, and I throw my long hair up in a bun. That's easiest because no kids can pull on it with slobbery, sticky fingers. The only make-up I wear is an SPF moisturizer and mascara, and that takes about 2 minutes to put on after my shower. I always get dressed in regular clothes, but because the weight is sticking, I'm still wearing belly bands sometimes with my pre-preg jeans, and that is just depressing.
I don't know if I look put together or not. If someone thinks I do just because I'm dressed and showered every day with my usual minimal make-up, then they are mistaken...

mediaperuana · September 2013

Nice to hear I'm not alone, and that some more put together moms have some ideas to share. I don't need or expect to look like Beyonce, I just want my clothes to fit and my hair to be something other than a messy bun! (Maybe I should just cut it off?)

holly321 · September 2013

Cut off hair generally requires more work. Maybe highlights or something will make you feel like you are putting more effort?

ericalee27 · September 2013

kelly321 said:

The weight is not coming off this time, so that's what's hurting my self-esteem the most.

This is where I'm at too. By this time with DS1, I had lost all my preg weight and then some. This time around, I still have 12 lbs to go.

kelly321 · September 2013

ericalee27 said:

kelly321 said:

The weight is not coming off this time, so that's what's hurting my self-esteem the most.

This is where I'm at too. By this time with DS1, I had lost all my preg weight and then some. This time around, I still have 12 lbs to go.

Yep. I've got about 15 to go until I'm at an acceptable (to me) weight and a bit more than 20 before I'm back at my "regular" weight.

Justinlove · September 2013

I don't have a choice but to put myself together since I work and honestly, I feel so much better when I have a shower, fix my hair and put on a little makeup. Now, in all honesty, my pre-children routine was never that intense. I shower before the girls get up and then DH and I tag team everything until it is all done. When I stayed at home all summer, I would shower during morning naps or while DD2 was in a bouncer (or exersaucer) and DD1 could watch one show on tv--but she usually chose to hang out in the bathroom with us. Spending 25% of my year as a sahm, I find that it is much easier to be lax in taking care of my appearance when not working since we hang around the house (unseen by the outside world) a lot more.

pitterpatter129 · September 2013

I'm about as far from having it together as I have ever been in my entire life.

AuntieMaimee · September 2013

Yesterday I got my first haircut since my daughter was born. Just that one little thing makes me feel so much better. And I went with a style that is easy to wash and go. I don't wear make up and nothing I have fits, but the haircut made a difference in how I feel about it all.

SidraJedi · September 2013

Throwing in my two cents a little late but about three weeks after giving birth I threw out all of my make up. I now concentrate on skin care rather than make up. Many people have complimented me on my skin recently so I know it's working.
And last month I shaved my closet down to a weeks worth of essential pieces plus one fancy dress and some clothes for working out and gardening. I decided that I needed a wardrobe that was foolproof.
I'm much happier and much more satisfied with my appearance.

singingsea · September 2013

I feel ya. Still have about 10lbs. My morning involves me scrambling around trying to get the baby ready for the sitter and me ready for work. I get some eye makeup on but that's it. I never have time to get breakfast in my belly.

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