If your DH's travel for work...

hmd · September 2013

How do you do it? We managed to avoid the trip to Chicago last year right after the baby was born, but now they want him to go to California from Tues-Fri next week. The week we are supposed to be completely out of our house (selling/moving). I don't want him to miss out on other opportunities by not going on these trips, but they give me major anxiety. I am freaked out about him being away from us--what if something happens? I worry about the flight, etc. Help!

Andrewsgal · September 2013

DH travels all the time. Hell so,elf the places he goes requires his job to buy kidnapping insurance and would make California look like Disney world. You just need to let it go. It is what it is. He is a adult and will be just fine. I a, an adult and it is my job to handle the house while he is away. I don't get the anxiety, but then again we travel a ton as a famil, couple and single.

JeffandLeslie · September 2013

H travels at least every other week, if not every week. He has been doing this for four years and aside from occasionally getting sick on the road, nothing has ever happened to him. I had anxiety about this when I was pregnant, so we started a thing where he always texts me right when the plane lands so I know everything is okay. He forgot once and I was so freaked out he has never forgotten again.

You just get used to it. Now half the time I have to check to remember what city he's in.

Andrewsgal · September 2013

Hav=Fath said:

Andrewsgal said:

DH travels all the time. Hell so,elf the places he goes requires his job to buy kidnapping insurance and would make California look like Disney world. You just need to let it go. It is what it is. He is a adult and will be just fine. I a, an adult and it is my job to handle the house while he is away. I don't get the anxiety, but then again we travel a ton as a famil, couple and single.

Kidnappers insurance!? Oy

Gotta love the Middle East

freezorburn · September 2013

DH travels as many as 13 days a month and he goes all over the world. I just get through it. More recently I have hired some extra help -- we have a nanny come play with DS one afternoon a week, and the dog goes to doggy daycare twice a week. As long as everyone eats and poops and stays clean then I maintain a baseline of sanity.

If you're worried about your husband's safety during travel, you might want to think about life insurance. Hopefully it is something you never have to need, but if you do ... it might be what you need to help you through a major life adjustment.

Also, moving is stressful. Is there anyone who can help you during that week? I had to fly family in to help me with the new baby when DS started his job in a foreign country.

Socialworkgirl · September 2013

I would be stressed out if DH were out of town the week we were supposed to move, but it sounds like you are more worried about him. They always say air travel is safer than car travel. He's probably safer than when he drives to work every day.

For long trips-like when he is gone the entire week, I try to schedule someone in my family to visit. But of course that is not always possible. I would try to schedule stuff with friends to keep busy. Can you invite a friend over for dinner and cook for them and have a wine and packing night?

Minipenguin · September 2013

Andrewsgal said:

Hav=Fath said:

Andrewsgal said:

DH travels all the time. Hell so,elf the places he goes requires his job to buy kidnapping insurance and would make California look like Disney world. You just need to let it go. It is what it is. He is a adult and will be just fine. I a, an adult and it is my job to handle the house while he is away. I don't get the anxiety, but then again we travel a ton as a famil, couple and single.

Kidnappers insurance!? Oy

Gotta love the Middle East

I saw that movie, Buried. No way. I would be freaking out the entire time and not get any sleep or rest at all.

When DH travels, it sucks. I like having him home to help and give me a break and I like knowing that he isn't involved in a plane crash

but you learn a new routine for when he's gone. I let things go a little bit more, and he helps me pick up when he gets home. When he travels, he usually gets some time off and gets paid for his travel time so that helps. (If he's gone M - R, he usually gets Friday off and gets paid from the time he leaves the house until he gets to the hotel at his destination. So that's nice.) It has its downsides but it also has its perks. Just focus on the perks.

Minipenguin · September 2013

Oh, and we try not to talk too much. I know for some people, skype and phone calls help. It just reminds me that he won't be back for awhile so we text and he'll call maybe once a day or every other day. Do what works for you guys.

steelermama86 · September 2013

My husband travels all the time. He is usually gone more then he is home. It was really tough when all this started being we are so far from family. Now I am used to it and sometime get frustrated with how he "messes" up our routine. We get used to him gone then he is home then gone again. It's toughest on my daughter. He always texts before the plane takes off and as soon as they land. We skype and talk numerous times a day. While it would be easier with him home everyday it is what it is and allows me to stay home!

JeffandLeslie · September 2013

Oh, and we try not to talk too much. I know for some people, skype and phone calls help. It just reminds me that he won't be back for awhile so we text and he'll call maybe once a day or every other day. Do what works for you guys.

We do the same thing!

notkateanymore · September 2013

How do I do what? He travels multiple days a week usually, mostly private in a small plane even. You just deal with it. I don't quite understand the "what if something happens?" thing as something could happen anytime anywhere. It's harder on DD the older she gets. She really misses him, so he calls in the morning before school and before dinner to talk to her, then we talk when he gets in from dinner.

thechickencoop · September 2013

DH travels a few times a year for work and a few times for play. It's always just up and down the east coast usually, he usually drives or takes a train, so I generally don't worry any more than normal (I mean, anything can happen at anytime, I can't drive myself crazy). I'm sure the stress of moving AND having him gone is crazy though. Can you either recruit family or hire some help for those few days? I can't imagine having to finish packing and move with kids and with DH out of town. Good luck!

cactus5 · September 2013

My husband travels at least 40 weeks out of the year. A pp said that it throws off her routine if dh is home-that is us too. We just go about our days as if he was going to be home later in the day. I have never really worried about flights, but if it worries you I would just have him text you when he arrives and departs. If something happens, just call. If there was a real emergency he could come home. It will be fine.

Minipenguin · September 2013

cactus5 said:

My husband travels at least 40 weeks out of the year. A pp said that it throws off her routine if dh is home-that is us too. We just go about our days as if he was going to be home later in the day. I have never really worried about flights, but if it worries you I would just have him text you when he arrives and departs. If something happens, just call. If there was a real emergency he could come home. It will be fine.

40 weeks? So he's only home 12 weeks a year?! Wow, that is a lot of traveling.

notkateanymore · September 2013

Minipenguin said:

cactus5 said:

My husband travels at least 40 weeks out of the year. A pp said that it throws off her routine if dh is home-that is us too. We just go about our days as if he was going to be home later in the day. I have never really worried about flights, but if it worries you I would just have him text you when he arrives and departs. If something happens, just call. If there was a real emergency he could come home. It will be fine.

40 weeks? So he's only home 12 weeks a year?! Wow, that is a lot of traveling.

All week those 40 weeks?

dizzycooks · September 2013

My dh doesn't travel for work per say, but he does go on business trips and honestly, I look forward to it. It doesn't freak me out at all. It's a break from the norm for us both. We've also agreed that if he were to take a job that required traveling it would only be a few days a week, not all week and not for weeks or months on end. We both agree that wouldn't be good for us on a regular basis. That said, in his profession it's not a requirement or an expectation that he travel regularly. Trips for training or meetings every few months? No big deal.

MrsBalletStar05 · September 2013

My husband has had to skip ONE travel opportunity because I was just way too close to my due date....otherwise we work stuff out. He's been gone several times. He was gone for 7 months deployed last year and I only have my BIL here in town. My oldest broke his arm twice, but other than that we made it out to the other side :-P His unit is deploying again soon, we want him to go, but I don't think he'll get to this time around.

cactus5 · September 2013

Minipenguin said:

cactus5 said:

My husband travels at least 40 weeks out of the year. A pp said that it throws off her routine if dh is home-that is us too. We just go about our days as if he was going to be home later in the day. I have never really worried about flights, but if it worries you I would just have him text you when he arrives and departs. If something happens, just call. If there was a real emergency he could come home. It will be fine.

40 weeks? So he's only home 12 weeks a year?! Wow, that is a lot of traveling.

4-5 days a week. He is home weekends. Sorry!

roxy_jj · September 2013

DH doesn't travel so much anymore - only about 10 times a year. With his last job, he traveled about half of the time. For 7 years, he was gone for about 4 days a week every week, so I guess I'm used to the traveling. It was actually kind of strange getting used to him being in town all the time.

I really wouldn't worry too much about it. He'll even be in the same country, so communicating with him shouldn't be that difficult. DH travels to India a fair bit and with the time difference, it can be difficult to arrange time for talking on the phone.

Hopefully, you'll find a good routine and enjoy the time!

MountaineerMomma · September 2013

DH doesn't travel for work, but he's traveling a lot for fellowship interviews right now. He also does hiking and climbing trips with his dad sometimes. We get along the same way we do when he is here. Sure, I don't have help when it's time to cook dinner or get up in the middle of the night when one wakes up and wakes the other one up...but it works out. I just take a nice break and go shopping/take a nap/whatever when he gets home. I figure single moms can run their households all the time, so I can manage for a few days when needed. I'm not helpless by any means.

heaven81906 · September 2013

My dh travels pretty frequently and started after getting a promotion when I was pregnant with our second child. He went to Germany for a week when our son was 3 weeks old. It wasn't pretty but we survived! I remember thinking that I was never going to be able to deal with it but it got easier and now two and half years later it's become part of life. It's a part of his career now and you just learn to make the best of it. We do face time with him and just try to stay busy so the time goes by quickly. Good luck!

JCM · September 2013

DH travels almost every week 3 or 4 nights per week. It's just something I've adjusted too. When DD first came along it was hard being the only one 24/7 with no real break. The good part of him traveling means we can live anywhere we want to in US. I also like it when he's gone because DD & I can do what ever we want not having to worry about getting back home cause DH is waiting for me. The flights do make me a bit nervous but it is what it is & I have no control over it so why worry?

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