Gender Reveal Disappointment

litzo27 · September 2013

But it's not what you think :P

With my first two pregnancies I just found out the gender at the anatomy scan with DH. This time I had the A/S on Thursday and the tech wrote the gender in an envelope which I gave to a friend who proceeded to pack one of the two outfits I gave her into a box. We had my parents and in-laws over on Sunday for DS2's birthday and opened it all together.

The exciting news is that my two boys are getting a BABY SISTER!!

The disappointment was that as it turned out I felt doing a public reveal was a mistake for me. I just didn't get a chance to process the news while everyone was squealing and hugging me. It was just a blur until I was laying in bed that night.

Also, I'm annoyed that everyone assumes that I would have been less happy with a third boy. I didn't care! So the over-the-top excitement kinda got to me. I think I'm just being hormonal though and need to remind myself that people don't mean it like that when then congratulate me. The important things is that right now I have a perfectly healthy, right-on-track with size, baby girl inside!

mommabird77 · September 2013

First off, congrats on a baby girl! I totally get the annoyed feeling about people feeling you would be disappointed with a boy. I have one boy, but because of my son's special needs (which is much more prevelant in boys than girls) they all thought I would have been disappointed if it were another boy, which is absolutely not true, and I hate that people think that way.

mrsjenni · September 2013

While I was happy we did things differently this time with a reveal with immediate family, I can totally understand where you're coming from. After our reveal, we sat and had dinner and everyone wanted to talk about names, etc. I had to slow everyone down and tell them that I was so 100% sure that it was a boy, that it would take me at least a week or two to process the fact that it was a girl, let alone name her!

So a week and a half after finding out we're having a girl, it's finally starting to sink in and we're 99% sure of her name.

But I would have had that issue whether we did the reveal or not, so I was still glad we did it that way!

Congrats on your baby GIRL!

litzo27 · September 2013

Thanks ladies! I really am super excited and probably will be more so (and will be less annoyed at the obnoxious comments like "Oh thank god!") as time goes on

@mrsjenni For me it's the opposite. My intuition was saying girl just because this pregnancy was so different but I didn't really let myself think one way or another.

mrsjenni · September 2013

Those comments would bother me too. I expected a boy and would have ben thrilled with another baby boy, but I got comments like that as well. I don't think people mean any harm by them and they would have loved another boy just as much anyway... but like your family, my entire family was hoping for a girl, so I think that's why we got the excitement/reactions we did!

cja06 · September 2013

Congrats on the baby girl! That was my fear as well, which is why I didn't want a public reveal to the families. I think there was too much emotion riding on the outcome. My DH found out first on his own and then told me. 3 weeks later and we still haven't told anyone. No one else even knows that we know what we're having.

Now that I have processed it, I am planning to tell my family in a couple weeks when I will be in town for work. We will be celebrating my mom's birthday and I will give her a present that says, "I didn't know what to give you for your birthday so..." and in the box will be a girl onesie. She REALLY wants a granddaughter, and has made that known, so I think the whole family will be thrilled.

sugarland726 · September 2013

I think the disappointment you had makes sense. Congrats on a healthy girl!

litzo27 · September 2013

@bridefromafar Hey, we have almost the same difference in ages in our BBG mix

Wow 3 weeks is a long time! I can't keep a secret for my life so I knew that once I find out, family will know within days.

The funny thing is that for my parents this will be grandchild #10 with already 5 girls and 4 boys. But they are as excited for each new one as for the others. So they really were just happy that we are getting a mix since the assumption is that this is what every parent wants.

Ladams30 · September 2013

I can understand your frustration. When we found out that we are having twins I was so overwhelmed and shocked for a few days that my family thought I was upset.

Congrats on the girl though! And I'm really glad she's on track!

bethughknee · September 2013

Congrats on a baby girl!! I think I would feel just as annoyed by comments like that, too!

It never even occurred to me that it would be overwhelming to do a reveal because you're processing it at the same time as everyone else. I think if I were you I would probably have ended up in tears. There seems to be a tipping point when I'm feeling hormonal and once it's passed...it's just all tears. Kudos on keeping it together! *fist bump*

litzo27 · September 2013

@bethughknee *bumping back*. DH filmed the actual reveal and I have to admit that digging through the wrapping paper with DS1 and DS2's help was really cute, as was the expression on my face. Thankfully he stopped filming before I got all hormonal and moody

dland0201 · September 2013

Congrats on your baby girl! I think your disappointment is understandable, especially considering everyone's comments.

alinafed · September 2013

Congrats on the girl. I can see why those comments would be hard to handle but don't take it personally, people probably just don't know what else to say. Who knows, if you had found out the gender alone you may have regretted that too, so don't worry too much about what's in the past

litzo27 · September 2013

@alinafed - good point. If I didn't do the reveal, I'm sure I'd be wishing I did.
random - i've been meaning to ask - is your name Alina? Mine is

jldubb0626 · September 2013

Yay! Congrats on your baby girl!! And I can understand your disappointment. When we found out #2 was a boy before people even said "Congrats!" it was "So, are you going to try for a girl?". It's hurtful to us, but I don't think the people making the comments really feel that way. *hugs*

alinafed · September 2013

litzo27 said:

@alinafed - good point. If I didn't do the reveal, I'm sure I'd be wishing I did.
random - i've been meaning to ask - is your name Alina? Mine is

Haha omg no way! Yes mine is

I have met SO few Alinas in my life, although in Eastern Europe I think it's a bit more common. I love my name though. Are you Eastern European too? I met one girl who was Canadian with that name but her dad thought he had made the name up - I was like "um yeah no he didn't"

LuGal623 · September 2013

Congrats on your little girl!! Like everyone said, your reaction was understandable and the whole not being able to process it until much later that night is the part that stands out for me. It's such an intimate moment in your life and that doesn't make it easier to handle with family or friends around. People will always make stupid comments about how we should feel!

litzo27 · September 2013

alinafed said:

litzo27 said:

@alinafed - good point. If I didn't do the reveal, I'm sure I'd be wishing I did.
random - i've been meaning to ask - is your name Alina? Mine is

Haha omg no way! Yes mine is I have met SO few Alinas in my life, although in Eastern Europe I think it's a bit more common. I love my name though. Are you Eastern European too? I met one girl who was Canadian with that name but her dad thought he had made the name up - I was like "um yeah no he didn't"

Ha! Yep, I'm from Russia originally. Not that uncommon there. In fact I just looked it up - Moscow records show that Alina was #22 in the city in 2012.

Cara1024 · September 2013

I can kind of relate because we did a public reveal also. I was stunned and doing it in public made me not really react the way I know I would have had it just been us. I'm still gad we did it that way, but after everyone left DH and I looked at each other and he said "Are you ok?" I couldn't quite put my finger on the feeling I had but I felt drunk or high or something. haha. I came down off my weird nervous buzz a few hours later and then it finally sunk in.

Congrats on baby girl! Welcome to Team PINK!

jmjj1310 · September 2013

Congrats on your healthy baby girl!

twobluelines · September 2013

Congrats on your baby girl. We did a "reveal" to my family, but had already found out ourselves first. I know a lot of people think that's a dumb way to do it, but i was glad we knew in advance so I could watch my family's reactions. We mostly did it for my 10 yo nephew, but when I tried to tell other members fo my family in advance they kept saying "don't ruin our fun, we want to wait until the reveal". So especially after hearing your story I'm glad we did it our way. And I hope those "thank god" comments stop soon. All flavours of babies are amazing.