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No words at 18 months (long)

takmjstakmjs member
in March 2012 Moms

I'm also posting this on the January 2012 and Preemies boards. I apologize this is very long...

My daughter was born at 30 weeks. She passed her infant hearing test with no problems. She has not said a single word, and she's now 18+ months (16 months adjusted, but our speech therapist said they don't adjust age for speech beyond a year)....so that makes her 18 months in the speech world. Anyway, we had her in the county's birth to 3 intervention program last summer just to see if she was on track. She was, and they released her at about 9 months actual age.

Since she hadn't said a word, I asked them to come back and do another eval on her, which they did a few weeks ago. She's also not walking yet (she's starting to stand on her own in the middle of the room for a second or two, so I think she's close), and she qualified for speech every 2 weeks and physical therapy every month. She tested at a 20 month range for comprehension, but an 11 month age for expressive language. They'll be doing our first speech visit next week.

We had our 18 month check-up with the pediatrician, and she suggested we get a hearing test done. I agreed, even though to me, if she has comprehension at a 20-month level, she must be able to hear us, right?! We just got back from the hearing test today, and they said she could hear the medium range, but didn't seem to hear the low or high range sounds. She was antsy and not wanting to sit after a while and was distracted by the moving animals they wanted her to hear/look at, so the tester said it could be that, or there could be an issue. She wants us back for a retest in a month.

When I'm talking to someone new and mention I have a daughter, their first question: "how old is she?" Almost everyone's first comment when they hear how old she is, is "oh, that's a fun age. She must be walking and talking all over the place, huh?" I'm starting to feel like I've failed her, and I feel embarrassed to have to say "no" all the time, but I don't know what else to do.

I'm wondering if anyone else has had children with any hearing issues or speech issues similar to ours (NO words at 18 months), and what you did about it, and what worked well. Should I push for her to be seen again sooner than a month? Or am I just being a paranoid mom?

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Re: No words at 18 months (long)

  • mamajamesmamajames member

    My 2nd son had a stroke at some point in utero they think and has a form of palsy. He didn't talk until he was two, not because of his palsy but because he just wasn't ready yet. He didn't walk till between 18 & 19mo due to his condition. 

    A friend of mine had both her girls around the same gestational age you did and she noticed her girls did take a little longer to develop when they were younger but once they were about 2 they were walking and talking.

    I know its hard but your LO will get there. If she needs a little help to get there it sounds like you'll make sure she gets it and by the time she's school age you'll never know you ever had these concerns. 

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  • MrsJetSetMrsJetSet member
    I don't have any experience, but I would probably push to recheck earlier. Good for you for being open to help from EI. Don't worry about what others say about your dd, they are just trying to make conversation. Let it go in one ear and out the other.
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  • LauraSmarterSpamLauraSmarterSpam member

    No worries lady!!  Dom is getting close to 18 months and still has no interest in walking. My mom said I didn't even walk until after 18 months, and I was not premature. 

     

    Dom isn't talking either. My nephew who will be 5 in December didn't start saying anything somewhat understandable until he was around 2 years old, and even then only my sister and her husband could decipher some of the words. 

     

    Doms pediatrician isn't concerned so I try not to be.  

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  • braintreebraintree member
    My niece was born at 29 weeks and was very late to talk.  I can't remember if she had any words at 18 months, but I'd say probably not.  She only had a few words at 2.  She did speech at the house and she really didn't start talking a lot or really well until she was 3. She pointed to everything for a really long time.  The good news is...She's now 6 and does NOT shut up!!  If I were you I'd take any kind of intervention you're being offered, and just give her time.  She'll catch up!  Good luck!
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  • takmjstakmjs member
    imageNicb13:

    I'm so sorry that you have these conflicting feelings about your child and your situation. I can't say that I can relate with DS but as a mom, I'm wishing you the best.

    The one thing I can say is that the pedi is very used to me by now because I'm on the paranoid side and I used to contact them all the time. If you feel that you need to try to get her in sooner then do it. It's your child and you are allowed to be paranoid. Get second opinions, do whatever you need to do to.

    Don't ever be embarrassed about your child or the situation you are in. If people ask questions or make comments, let them go in one ear and out the other. Just love that kid as much as you can and everyone else can take a hike ;)

    Thank you for writing back to me. I especially appreciate your last sentence, and I know I worry too much about what other people think. I need to get past that and just enjoy my little girl. :) Thank You! 

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  • takmjstakmjs member
    imagemrscjmb9410:

     I am really sorry that you are going through this stress! I think you are absolutely doing the right thing by checking into EI and talking to your pedi.

    I don't really have any advice about your DD but I hope that she gets what she needs from EI (and/or the hearing tests). 

    imagetakmjs:

    When I'm talking to someone new and mention I have a daughter, their first question: "how old is she?" Almost everyone's first comment when they hear how old she is, is "oh, that's a fun age. She must be walking and talking all over the place, huh?" I'm starting to feel like I've failed her, and I feel embarrassed to have to say "no" all the time, but I don't know what else to do.

    Don't feel like you've failed her!! You could say (in an upbeat tone) 'Not yet! She's working on it!' or 'She really loves to _____.'  (splash in the bath, stack blocks, look at books, swing really high, whatever she loves best) I think people are just trying to give you an opportunity to talk about your DD. So just be positive about what she likes or what she can do.

    Just today, a woman at work (I'm a teacher and subbed for someone else in summer school, so I haven't seen her for a month or so) asked me "how's your daughter? Is she running yet?"

    It's hard to be upbeat about it, but that's the only way I can do it. It just hurts a little more inside every time I have to say "no, not yet." I like your idea of coming up with something else she IS good at or likes to do (like she climbs all over the couches and is a speed-crawler), so I'm not doting on the fact she isn't walking. Thanks for that advice.

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  • takmjstakmjs member

    Thank you everyone for your encouraging words. I may ask my pediatrician if I could get a different hearing test sooner. I just don't like the idea that if she can't hear correctly, we're going to wait a month to figure that out. It's good to vent and to hear other similar stories, so again, thank you! 

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  • DivallynDivallyn member
    My son is 16 months and still not walking either. I'm not too concerned. He says a couple words but they are most of them are his versions of the word. Like previous pp have said I am sure they will catch up and in a couple years you won't even be ale to tell it took your LO a little longer.
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  • christinaa722christinaa722 member
    I understand how you feel with LO. DS just started walking right before he turned 17 months. He was born at 35 weeks so I always expected small delays in development but I didn't expect for some things to take so long. He mostly babbles but nothing really definitive, he says a few words but not consistently. I used to get so embarrassed when people would assume he was crawling, walking, talking..etc, but I think in time it gets better. I've learned if you're not comfortable with something then ask your pedi, I'm super paranoid and some things I let go, but if you feel like LO needs more therapy, then do it. You know best mom, hang in there!
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  • eyenigheyenigh member
    MrsJetSet said:
    I don't have any experience, but I would probably push to recheck earlier. Good for you for being open to help from EI. Don't worry about what others say about your dd, they are just trying to make conversation. Let it go in one ear and out the other.

    This. Don't ever feel like you've failed her-- you're doing everything you can and should! Like MrsJetSet said, it's just people trying to make conversation. I know it's annoying when you can give them the answer that they expect to hear but certainly don't take it personally or as a reflection on you.
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