Hour plus commute each way?

shakinros · September 2013

I'm about to hit submit on an application for an awesome job but I suddenly have cold feet about the commute! Who has a long commute to/from work? How do you handle dropoffs and pickups? Do you see your LO much? Did you have to find daycare with special extended hours?

sapphirebride06 · September 2013

It depends on where the daycare or child care is. Is it close to your office you are applying to or closer to home? Can your H help you with drop off? Where is the pedi office?

We adore our daycare and limited my search options for jobs and I turned down a job due to the commute since I wouldn't be able to get to daycare in time for pick up. Had I loved every aspect about the job, I would have looked elsewhere for childcare, but it wasn't the right fit. But I also have my kinder kid to think about and drop off is no earlier than 7:30 and since my H often travels for work I had to consider that I would be the only one to do drop off and pick up. So I had to limit my commute to less than 30 minutes. That severely limited my options but I am having a follow up interview tomorrow for one that would be in the same town and less than five minutes from my baby and less than 15 from my kinder kid school so it is a perfect fit in every way.

My answer is this - if you love the job and think it would be a great move for you professionally, I think everything can be worked out. I would get ideas for daycare closer to your job if you want, but my son hates riding in the car so I would rather his daycare be closer to our home so he int' in the car that often. I know some people think they can get special time with their LO in the commute but I don't think so.

Of course I have two for drop off and pick up so that makes a difference, and they are at two different locations, 10 minutes apart. So we will have to leave at 7:20 - get to kinder kid school at 7:30ish then drop him off in car line and head to toddler daycare and take him about 7:45 in and then be at work at 8. Then the evening would be get to toddler daycare at about 5:10, pick him up and head to kinder kid school and get there around 5:25 then get home about 5:45.

Sorry this was so long, just wanted to cover all bases. Good luck and I hope whatever you want will happen!

Bat_Ish_Crazy · September 2013

I work an hour away from my home. We used to have DD in a daycare around the corner from my workplace, but it became inconvenient over time because I was solely responsible for drop off and pickup. Last week we moved DD to a daycare around the corner from our home, and it has helped a lot. DH works 9-6 and I work 8-5, so he does drop off & I do pickup. Daycare opens at 7AM and closes at 6:30PM.

NavyMom77 · September 2013

My commute is technically 35 min, but really takes me 45-60 due to traffic at rush hour. DH is military with an ever-changing schedule so I'm responsible for most pick-ups, drop-offs and any emergencies during the day. It looks like you have a few years before school starts, so I'd recommend trying to keep childcare close to your work if possible for a while. Where things get hard now is when DS is sick or has a doctors appointment or similar - since school and daycare are near home there's no quick way to pop in and out to take care of that stuff. Luckily DS loves his DC, and while I felt guilty at first being the mom who got there 5 min before closing (6pm), DS gets upset if I pick him up TOO early! It's definitely doable, but takes a bit more coordination.

EastCoastBride · September 2013

At this point in my life, there is no way I'd sign up for an hour + commute. I have about a 20 - 30 min commute and while it's not bad, I'm always keeping an eye open for opportunities that will bring me even closer to home.

GreenMonkey1 · September 2013

I just left a job with a 45-60 minute commute one way, largely because of other issues, but decreasing the commute was definitely on my mind.

I was able to flex my hours so I worked 7:30-4:30, allowing me to get to DC by the 6 o'clock closing. DH did most drop-offs because I would leave the house 6:30-6:45. There are not any DCs (of which I am aware) in my area with extended hours. Luckily my DH's office is 10-minutes from our house so he could do drop-offs, but the days I had to do drop-offs I would be late to work and cut the time out of my lunch.

It worked fine, but I am happy to be on the road less. Driving is not my favorite pastime and it was largely highway. I drive about 30-minutes one-way now and will still keep my eyes open for a job closer.

jf198400 · September 2013

I used to have an hour commute which was very stressful. DH has a 2hr commute each way, so everything with the kids is on me. We had my mom watching the kids before so I could manage the commute b/c I didn't have to do dropoffs and pickups. Now I work 15mins from home and kids are in DC 5mins from home. It is much better. There's no way I could have handled DC with the commute I had before. I think at least 1 parent needs to work close to home.

Karla CS · September 2013

Even before having a kid, I couldn't tolerate a long commute. I live 8 miles from the office and it takes me anywhere from 15-30 minutes, depending on the time of day and traffic.

We do work it out so that DH does drop offs and I pick up, which lets me leave to get into work by 6:30 and leave by 3:30, so we're usually home by 4, which allows plenty of time for us together.

The bad side of the situation? I don't particularly like where I'm working, but those two factors make it difficult to work up the motivation to look elsewhere.

shakinros · September 2013

Thanks everyone. Useful perspectives! I did submit the application because I figure it doesn't hurt to apply, but it's good to know we'd have to think really carefully about the logistics of where we are living if this becomes a real possibility.

Netty_3 · September 2013

I just got out of that situation...and it feels fabulous! I would only do it if the perks and job itself were amazing.

bliss611 · September 2013

we did this for a year because we both worked in Manhattan and lived in the suburbs of NYC. It was crazy and I ended up leaving work. It's really hard having to rush back.

SoMoNY · September 2013

Both of us work in NYC so we have an hour train ride. Sadly there just aren't jobs on the island that pay as well and have same opportunities as those in the city.

We have a nanny that takes him to/from school which helps a lot.

At some point one of us might go consultant route to be closer to home but figure that will be when kid's schedule gets more busy with sports and activities.

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