how do you do mornings and daycare?

glaw · September 2013

hi all, fairly new at this working mom business. went back in april when DD was 5 months. we currently have a nanny. eventually may look into daycare, but I can't figure out how mornings will work. currently DD wakes up between 6-630am. I leave the house by 630 and sometimes 6. the nanny comes at 7 and my husband leaves at 8. he could not be the one to take her to/from daycare ever. it would have to be me. I can tell that slowly DD is going to be sleeping longer (she used to wake up at 5) and even if she woke up at 6 that would not be enough time for me to get her ready and out the door - even assuming I was completely ready and everything for daycare was ready. I'm sure I cannot be the only one who needs to leave for work before their child's normal wake time. so my question is - do you wake your baby up? are you concerned about baby getting enough sleep? or do their sleep patterns change to sleeping earlier b/c they are more tired as a result of waking up earlier? just some things I am considering when deciding whether to switch over to daycare or not.

Drea926 · September 2013

I agree with PP - why can't DH do it? I get up at 5 and leave at 6 for work. DS usually has a bottle somewhere in that hour. I feed him and he goes back to sleep until 7. DH wakes at 6 (new for him as he is also not a morning person) , gets himself ready then gets DS at 7, dresses him, gives him breakfast, plays with him a bit and then drops him at daycare. He then leaves for work at 8!

MamaAllison · September 2013

Short answer- yes, we wake DD up to take her to DC. I agree 6 is awfully early, but maybe she will move her bedtime up to compensate.

jnnfrrose6 · September 2013

When does your LO go to bed? As PP said, you may compensate for an earlier wake up with an earlier bed time. That being said, I get myself up between 5-5:30 to get ready. I/We (DH makes my lunch every morning) get everything ready to go and get LO up as late as possible (usually about 6:10). At that point, we just get him dressed, then we nurse and are out the door around 6:30. DC feeds him breakfast after he gets there around 7. Sometimes LO will fall back asleep on the ride to DC (I chose one by my office so I can still nurse him at lunch), but it's only about a 20 min commute.

LoCarb · September 2013

Yes, I wake up my kids every morning, just like an alarm wakes me up. I put them to be at a time where they can get 8 hrs of sleep. Like other PP's, I'm not understanding why your H cannot do drop off? If you insist on doing drop off yourself, you will need to adjust your schedule accordingly.

QueSrah · September 2013

Until around 18 months, we got DD up about 7 am, 15 minutes before I walked out the door. It gave us just enough time to get her diaper changed and dressed. She had breakfast at her DCP's house. You don't necessarily need to get her up super early before you leave, unless she really needs that time to wake up before moving or she needs to have breakfast at home because the DCP doesn't offer it.

And I agree that you can work on shifting her bedtime so that getting up 30-60 minutes earlier still gets her enough sleep.

dizzycooks · September 2013

We both get up at 5:20 and get dressed. DH goes down to start coffee, breakfast and feed the dog. I get DD up at around 5:45 and change her diaper and dress her. Then she sits with DH while he makes coffee and she eats breakfast and they 'chat'. I join them after my hair and makeup are done and we leave by 6:15. Given her choice, she would wake up at 8am every day. Unfortunately that's not life. She takes a good long nap at daycare and is a total crankpot by 6:30 at night when she goes to bed.

When she was little, the routine was the same, except I nursed and I had to shower at night and I ate in the car.

*sparky* · September 2013

When I went into work early, DH would get DS up and take him off to daycare. So DS got to sleep in, and the boys had their time together in the morning. If that will not work for you, the only other option is for you to wake your LO up early. When I am responsible for DS in the morning, I get myself up early, so I am pretty much ready by the time I have to get him up, and then I can focus on getting him fed, ready and both of us out the door. It means I have to wake up much earlier than I'd like to some days, but it goes so much more smoothly.

jf198400 · September 2013

I am extremely confused as to why you (who leave at 6:30) vs. your husband (who leaves at 8am) would have to do drop off. Is it because you would want a DC near your work? What about DC near your house?

I have always had to do both dropoff and pickup, but that is b/c DH is gone 5:30am til atlLeast 7pm (generally later). I actually found it easier to wake them when they were babies b/c I could just feed them/diaper them and put them in the carseat. My toddler is much crankier about being woken up. It takes longer to get her ready b/c everything is an argument (clothes, hair, etc.). I am lucky to work closeby and don't have to wake her too early. But really you just do what you have to do, and the kids will adjust. They may nap better/longer at daycare or go to bed earlier.

Red_Dahlia · September 2013

I don't understand why your DH couldn't do drop off.

You said DD wakes up 6-6:30 and you leave at 6:30. Sounds perfect to me. You get up, get yourself dressed, everything ready to go, then wake up DD at 6 get her dressed and you both leave at 6:15. If she's still sleeping and you don't want to wake her, let her sleep till 7 or so and DH can take her. I guess I don't see the issue... some days I have to wake my DD up, some days she wakes up before I'm ready. I prefer that she sleeps up until the minute that I wake her. When she wakes up earlier, one of us has to watch her, feed her breakfast, etc. and that takes forever.

glaw · September 2013

Thank you all so much for your responses. The reason my DH can't do drop off is because we work in completely opposite directions and he works very late most days and takes call/goes to the hospital as required. So I would have to drive past my home and go another 1 hour in the opposite direction to pick her up. The daycares in our area leave a lot to be desired so that is not an option. It would have to be near my work or near his work and near his work would mean a 2+ hour commute for me to pick up.

I guess this is why we have a nanny for now. I am thinking about the socializing aspects as DD gets older. She's almost 1 right now. There's a possibility we might move in the near future - we chose our area solely bc it's in btwn both our jobs.

The immediate area around us is fine, safe and nice. But just a few blocks/miles away it gets sketch and there are no daycares I would consider sending DD to. Plus I'm happy with my nanny for now, just looking down the road and wanted to get some info. I guess I would have to wake DD up early as it seems many of you do the same. I was hoping to avoid that but doesn't seem like I would be able to.

MNmama7112 · September 2013

Kids are so adaptable, so I wouldn't worry about waking her up in the morning. You'd probably need to move bedtime up earlier to compensate, but she'd adjust to a new schedule with time.

*sparky* · September 2013

That makes sense re: DH not being able to do drop off. Regarding the socialization issue, we had a nanny for DS until he started Kindergarten. She took him to Mommy and Me classes at our gym, the playground, and other activities during the week, and he started in preschool two mornings a week at age 3. I assure you he is completely social and has no trouble making friends. So I don't think your DC has to be in DC to be socialized, but that is just my 2 cents. If you are happy with your nanny situation, I would not change to DC just for that reason.

mrskelly731 · September 2013

I know in my situation DH can not do drop off/pick ups because he has a work truck that he is not allowed to use with passangers other than coworkers. I have the only vehicle that can have the carseat. On days I have to go to work an hour earlier (only when I have to cover for a supervisor who goes on vacation - about 4 weeks out of the year) I get DD up at 6 change her, get her dressed, have her brush her teeth while I brush her hair, and we are out the door by 630. Daycare does breakfast so I don't have to worry about that. Another LO at daycare gets there at 6 every morning and by the time I get there (730 on a normal day) He is just getting out of his pajamas and into clothes or still asleep on the couch. It all depends on what you are comfortable with I guess.

ASmallWonder · September 2013

Ditto the others but I also think you're overestimating how long it takes to get them ready in the morning. You'd have a half hour or so. You wake them up, you feed a bottle if needed and you change them and out the door. We definitely do it in 30 minutes or less.

groovygrl · September 2013

My twins were like a million times easier to get up & out the door before the age of 2, it was really never a problem for us, but we didn't leave at 630 either--- however, I could have gotten them both up & out in 30 min I think. after age 2 it got harder b/c of their mobility and not listening and all that comes w/ that (and now way worse at age 4, new DC doesnt serve bfast it takes FOREVER int he morning).

ETA re the socialization, I don't think I'd worry about that until 2, at that point I do think it is pretty important to be around other kids regularly (b/w 1 & 2, I think just hanging out w/ friends on the weekends or whatever is fine). Also, just a side note, I think I'd hang onto the nanny until you move if you are considering it, esp if it means your H could help w/ drop off & pick up some after you move. I have to admit, in our last state we had a nice balance, H did the majority of drop off, I did pick up, and because of his hours in our new state, I have to do drop off & pick up most days and my commute is 45 min+ and his is about 8 min and I get a bit bitter about it sometimes, it can be really frustrating to feel so tied to all of that (though if I schedule it ahead or in a pinch if I'm stuck in traffic or whatnot, he can usually get out early to get them or what have you)... so just something to keep in mind that I would put off if possible. It's just one more thing to deal with if it is all going to be on you.
GL! There's rarely a perfect solution...

thedash · September 2013

It sounds like a nanny is a good solution for you for now. As for socialization, we just took DS to occasional weekend classes through our community center and park system. I also set up play dates when possible and joined a working moms group. If your nanny drives or you live in a walkable area you may be able to get her to do some classes and play dates during the weekday too.

DS just started part-time preschool this week at 2.5. I do think he gets a lot out of being with other kids his age but I don't think he really needed it much earlier than this. If you're happy with your nanny I'd stick to that for a while longer.

sapphirebride06 · September 2013

I do drop off and pick up and that will stay the same if I get the job I'm interviewing for on Monday. As of now, or when I officially worked from home, we got up and I got the boys up at the same time, I would take them in and pick them up. We had to be there at 8:30 - 9:00 since we didn't do early care.

Now that my son is in kinder our schedule moved up about an hour. I wake up about 6:45 and we are out the door by 7:40. I get up and get the stuff packed up - I prepack lunches, etc. so I just throw it in the lunch bag and include cold packs. I get them breakfast and while they eat I get ready while H checks his email, etc. while they eat. Then we each get a kiddo dressed. My 5 yo can do it himself but we have to tie shoes and help brush his teeth. The toddler we have to do everything. Then we load up and are out the door.

H works from home or has a more flexible schedule so lately it works better if he gets both the kids ready after I make breakfast and while I get ready. Then he gets ready after we leave.

NavyMom77 · September 2013

My DH is military with a schedule that always changes, so we have to plan DC around what I am able to do on my own in case he isn't available to help. So I completely understand your needing to plan to handle things on your own if you leave the nanny situation. It sounds like you are in a nice area surrounded by not-so-good. Have you thought about finding a good in-home provider near your home who also cares for additional children as your LO gets older? That might be a good compromise to offer more socialization opportunities, stay in the area you trust near your home that's between your husband's work and yours, and allow some flexibility if/when your hubby is able to help with pick-up/drop-off.

Mrs_Lady · September 2013

we started daycare part time at 9.5 months so I am not expert since its only been a few weeks.

not sure why your DH can't take LO to daycare. I prep for the week with clothes and food each Sunday. Hubby drops off since I start work around 7am. LO wakes up usually by 6am/630. Hubby also starts work at 8am.

That's awesome that you have a nanny can she help with morning prep at all?.

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