The baby blues??

AACaHa13 · September 2013

I'm not sure if I have the baby blues or if its just a part of the way I'm supposed to feel after your world is thrown off from having a baby. I find myself sad because my house is a mess, I sometimes can't figure out why LO is crying, thoughts of DH and I focusing all of our attention on LO and none on one another, feeling lo bf is a major odd feeling and annoyance and I hate feeling this way

Do any of you think you are suffering or borderline suffering from the baby blues? Or is this somewhat normal?

lydsyjane · September 2013

I think its normal. I've been feeling the exact same way, but it doesn't last long. I'll get overwhelmed and have a good cry, then continue on with my day. My big thing is getting enough sleep - if I'm well rested then I can handle things a lot better. I'd talk to your doc if you never feel any emotional relief, or if you have thoughts of hurting you or your baby because you're so frustrated & overwhelmed.

MommyBolty · September 2013

Everyone experiences baby blues in the first few weeks. But if it continues you may need to talk to someone about it possibly being ppd. If you are uninterested in your baby... It could be something more serious than baby blues. Take care of yourself mama!

KiKiMe · September 2013

How old is LO? I think all of those feelings are normal but it depends how often you are feeling them (all day vs. a few times a day), if they are overshadowing all the good stuff and how long you have been feeling them. PPD is nothing to mess with so if you don't like the way you are feeling I would call the Dr. I'm sorry you are feeling these things.

CBiggs85 · September 2013

SLEEP IS KEY. If I really don't get enough, I feel really down and out.

LJUTCMommy · September 2013

I could have written your exact post. I love snuggling dd and seeing her smiles, but at the same time I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my old life, my old body, my old marriage. It's a big change.

AACaHa13 · September 2013

MrsWahidi said:
I could have written your exact post. I love snuggling dd and seeing her smiles, but at the same time I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my old life, my old body, my old marriage. It's a big change.

That's a better way of putting it!! How are you coping with it? I get scared that I won't get over it and it will have a negative impact on my life.

DaniB091 · September 2013

I think I had a case of the baby blues. I felt disconnected in a way, and I was crying multiple times a day, super frustrated with breastfeeding, and feeling like a prisoner in my own house. Finally at two weeks pp, I talked to my husband about how I was feeling and prayed about it, the next morning I woke up feeling so much better. It was like the sadness just vanished.

LJUTCMommy · September 2013

AACaHa13 said:

MrsWahidi said:
I could have written your exact post. I love snuggling dd and seeing her smiles, but at the same time I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my old life, my old body, my old marriage. It's a big change.
That's a better way of putting it!! How are you coping with it? I get scared that I won't get over it and it will have a negative impact on my life.

I've noticed I'm a lot happier if I do things I did before, like go shopping, see friends, go out for lunch, go for a walk, have a coffee. It's hard to do those things because dd is a fussy baby and I get anxiety when she cries in public, but I'm doing my best. I keep telling myself life doesn't stop when you have a baby. After all, if I had an older kid, I would have to get out of the house.

I also agree with others that sleep is important. I need to get more, but don't know how. DH works 80 hours a week and is out the door by 3 or 4 am and not back until 8 or 9 at night. Today he left at 3 and won't be back until midnight. I can't wait for his busy season to be over so we can spend more time altogether and maybe he can take over a night feeding or 2,

emmaleigh05 · September 2013

MrsWahidi said:

AACaHa13 said:

MrsWahidi said:
I could have written your exact post. I love snuggling dd and seeing her smiles, but at the same time I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my old life, my old body, my old marriage. It's a big change.
That's a better way of putting it!! How are you coping with it? I get scared that I won't get over it and it will have a negative impact on my life.
I've noticed I'm a lot happier if I do things I did before, like go shopping, see friends, go out for lunch, go for a walk, have a coffee. It's hard to do those things because dd is a fussy baby and I get anxiety when she cries in public, but I'm doing my best. I keep telling myself life doesn't stop when you have a baby. After all, if I had an older kid, I would have to get out of the house.

I also agree with others that sleep is important. I need to get more, but don't know how. DH works 80 hours a week and is out the door by 3 or 4 am and not back until 8 or 9 at night. Today he left at 3 and won't be back until midnight. I can't wait for his busy season to be over so we can spend more time altogether and maybe he can take over a night feeding or 2,

This. Try to do a few "old life" things or get outside and walk with LO. I made the comment in another post that by naming them "baby blues" it trivializes them and others have a tendency to not take these feelings seriously. They will go away! GL.

PB102012 · September 2013

MrsWahidi said:
I could have written your exact post. I love snuggling dd and seeing her smiles, but at the same time I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my old life, my old body, my old marriage. It's a big change.

I feel this way too sometimes.

ashleyamberRN · September 2013

I have a lot of the same feelings you are. One thing I did that made me feel so much better one was go out for a drive in a nice day. I had the windows down, sun roof open, went to a drive thru Starbucks and came home. I kept LO in the car seat and we went and sat on the deck and listened to music while I drank my caramel frapp. I'm telling you, some caffeine and sunshine out me in such a good mood.

CBiggs85 · September 2013

ashleyamberRN said:
I have a lot of the same feelings you are. One thing I did that made me feel so much better one was go out for a drive in a nice day. I had the windows down, sun roof open, went to a drive thru Starbucks and came home. I kept LO in the car seat and we went and sat on the deck and listened to music while I drank my caramel frapp. I'm telling you, some caffeine and sunshine out me in such a good mood.

I went for a drive this morning too with her because she was fussy and it really did help lift my mood. Stopped at a Starbucks drive thru too

AACaHa13 · September 2013

ashleyamberRN said:
I have a lot of the same feelings you are. One thing I did that made me feel so much better one was go out for a drive in a nice day. I had the windows down, sun roof open, went to a drive thru Starbucks and came home. I kept LO in the car seat and we went and sat on the deck and listened to music while I drank my caramel frapp. I'm telling you, some caffeine and sunshine out me in such a good mood.

That sounds amazing!

AACaHa13 · September 2013

MrsWahidi said:

AACaHa13 said:

MrsWahidi said:
I could have written your exact post. I love snuggling dd and seeing her smiles, but at the same time I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my old life, my old body, my old marriage. It's a big change.
That's a better way of putting it!! How are you coping with it? I get scared that I won't get over it and it will have a negative impact on my life.
I've noticed I'm a lot happier if I do things I did before, like go shopping, see friends, go out for lunch, go for a walk, have a coffee. It's hard to do those things because dd is a fussy baby and I get anxiety when she cries in public, but I'm doing my best. I keep telling myself life doesn't stop when you have a baby. After all, if I had an older kid, I would have to get out of the house.

I also agree with others that sleep is important. I need to get more, but don't know how. DH works 80 hours a week and is out the door by 3 or 4 am and not back until 8 or 9 at night. Today he left at 3 and won't be back until midnight. I can't wait for his busy season to be over so we can spend more time altogether and maybe he can take over a night feeding or 2,

I agree. Lol it's funny because I have anxiety when LO cries in public too. I try to remind myself that everyone knows babies cry but I still can't help but feel anxious that he needs something and I need I figure it out fast! Sleep does help! And so does being able to get my dishes done. I'm this scheduled routine planner and my world is so upside down and I think it contributes to a lot of my mood.

That is just crazy how many hours your DH works! Mine leaves at 3 or 4 am everyday too but he is home between 6 and 7. He also has Wednesdays and Sundays off so that helps. It's nice to chat about it on here too because it helps me realize I am not the only one and it is somewhat normal to feel this way.

AACaHa13 · September 2013

KiKiMe said:
How old is LO? I think all of those feelings are normal but it depends how often you are feeling them (all day vs. a few times a day), if they are overshadowing all the good stuff and how long you have been feeling them. PPD is nothing to mess with so if you don't like the way you are feeling I would call the Dr. I'm sorry you are feeling these things.

LO is 18 days old. I feel this way often when he is crying and I can't figure out what he needs. Or when DH comes home from work and he has to tackle baby duty while I do house chores when before we were able to focus on one another and spend time together. :-S

kwrecks · September 2013

I'm only 8 days PP but I feel the same way too. I think it's normal. Just about every day, and usually at night, I have a good cry about something. Sometimes it's something legit, other times it's something silly. Last night I had a good cry over the fact that DH goes back to work today, and I am terrified of taking care of LO by myself. The night before, I cried over the fact that LO was just about a week old and I couldn't stop time. Like I said, some legit reasons, and other reasons are for sure due to hormones. Like others said, try to get out of the house and do something that you enjoyed doing before LO was born, even if it's just going for a drive. And if you ever feel like it's more than just the normal baby blues, don't be afraid to talk to your doctor, and get some relief!

carrotcake06 · September 2013

I get all touched out. I just want some time alone that I determine when it stops.

But then I feel guilty when I'm not holding them or all up in their business 24/7. And then the crying. Someone is always crying it seems. I'm only one person and sometimes one has to cry while I deal w the other. Or I have to pee. Or whatever.

It's completely overwhelming and this isn't my first rodeo. So while normal, there are some things that help me. A shower that I'm not on the clock for. A run. Giving a bottle for a feeding. Silence. Getting enough sleep (ha!)

MellyLuc · September 2013

christy32685 said:

I could have written your exact post. I love snuggling dd and seeing her smiles, but at the same time I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my old life, my old body, my old marriage. It's a big change.
I feel this way too sometimes.

I also feel this way sometimes. What seems to help is when I cry it out, or Dh gets up for one of the middle of the night feedings so I can get a little bit more sleep. As soon as I am tired I feel overwhelmed with all of the changes immediately

nurseclare9 · September 2013

pandora lullaby station, also I just started playing theta/delta meditation music. Took him on a walk this morning, pass him off to dad (switching people sometimes does it for him, if someone is around which is not most of the time). Also what other people have posted

It freaks me out when the veins on his head start bulging out when he is crying, I am scared he is going to have an aneurism or something!

LJUTCMommy · September 2013

I had to come back to this thread because I literally just went for drive and stopped at Starbucks drive thru with a fussy dd in tow. It's funny that it was mentioned while I was actually doing it! We are now at the mall and sitting on a bench, cuddling because she's decided she doesn't like the stroller today.

LJUTCMommy · September 2013

AACaHa13 said:

MrsWahidi said:

AACaHa13 said:

MrsWahidi said:
I could have written your exact post. I love snuggling dd and seeing her smiles, but at the same time I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my old life, my old body, my old marriage. It's a big change.
That's a better way of putting it!! How are you coping with it? I get scared that I won't get over it and it will have a negative impact on my life.
I've noticed I'm a lot happier if I do things I did before, like go shopping, see friends, go out for lunch, go for a walk, have a coffee. It's hard to do those things because dd is a fussy baby and I get anxiety when she cries in public, but I'm doing my best. I keep telling myself life doesn't stop when you have a baby. After all, if I had an older kid, I would have to get out of the house.

I also agree with others that sleep is important. I need to get more, but don't know how. DH works 80 hours a week and is out the door by 3 or 4 am and not back until 8 or 9 at night. Today he left at 3 and won't be back until midnight. I can't wait for his busy season to be over so we can spend more time altogether and maybe he can take over a night feeding or 2,
I agree. Lol it's funny because I have anxiety when LO cries in public too. I try to remind myself that everyone knows babies cry but I still can't help but feel anxious that he needs something and I need I figure it out fast! Sleep does help! And so does being able to get my dishes done. I'm this scheduled routine planner and my world is so upside down and I think it contributes to a lot of my mood.

That is just crazy how many hours your DH works! Mine leaves at 3 or 4 am everyday too but he is home between 6 and 7. He also has Wednesdays and Sundays off so that helps. It's nice to chat about it on here too because it helps me realize I am not the only one and it is somewhat normal to feel this way.

Luckily, it's only like this during the summer season. He's the exec chef for a catering and cafe co. It should slow down next month. Then he'll be working from 6 to 4 and hopefully getting 2 days off instead of 0 or 1.

sfeebs13 · September 2013

DD doesn't cry. It's extremely rare... it almost makes me worry, but I take it as a blessing for now. I am scared for her first public meltdown. It might be a double meltdown.

On the BFing note, I don't think annoyance is the appropriate word but I do often find myself sitting there focusing on how "strange" it is that this small baby is sucking on my boob as I sit there. Its weird to me, but at the same time I like it better than giving her a bottle.

I have lots of confused feelings. Confused at how I literally made this LO in my body, I pushed her out, she is mine. FI says I think too much and have way too much of an imagination when it comes to things like this. It boggles my mind for some reason.

LJUTCMommy · September 2013

@slusk13 I still have a hard time fathoming that dd is what was growing inside me for 9 months. It's still abstract and surreal. Like I know it happened, I have yet to believe it.

pb&jojo · September 2013

I agree on the sleep....I felt the same way as you...very "bluesy". I had one good night of sleep and felt a hundred times better the next day...had some more exhausted days and cries after that, but sleep helped!

LokiLahve · September 2013

I'm 2weeks pp today and the blues have subsided a bit. They were REALLY bad around days 5-9.
I found I HAVE to get out if the house more, sunshine helps tremendously. I also feel a million times better if I fix my hair and at least put on some makeup. That may not be everyone's priority, but I think the point is to find and do something for YOU that makes you feel more like your normal self. It takes me 10 minutes while I bounce LO in her bouncy seat and really helps set the tone for my day.

kwrecks · September 2013

Stephw32 said:

I'm 2weeks pp today and the blues have subsided a bit. They were REALLY bad around days 5-9. I found I HAVE to get out if the house more, sunshine helps tremendously. I also feel a million times better if I fix my hair and at least put on some makeup. That may not be everyone's priority, but I think the point is to find and do something for YOU that makes you feel more like your normal self. It takes me 10 minutes while I bounce LO in her bouncy seat and really helps set the tone for my day.

I agree. Ive found that ptting make up on and doing something to my hair makes me feel more awake and like a member of society, and not like a hermit.

LokiLahve · September 2013

kwrecks said:

Stephw32 said:

I'm 2weeks pp today and the blues have subsided a bit. They were REALLY bad around days 5-9.
I found I HAVE to get out if the house more, sunshine helps tremendously. I also feel a million times better if I fix my hair and at least put on some makeup. That may not be everyone's priority, but I think the point is to find and do something for YOU that makes you feel more like your normal self. It takes me 10 minutes while I bounce LO in her bouncy seat and really helps set the tone for my day.

I agree. Ive found that ptting make up on and doing something to my hair makes me feel more awake and like a member of society, and not like a hermit.

Hermit....yes that is a perfect way to describe it! I finally got dressed and ready for the day at 3pm today due to lo's fussiness. I didn't even go anywhere but I felt so much better.

CBiggs85 · September 2013

Getting out of the house does do wonders. She was being fussy this morning but once we got in the car for a nice 20 minute drive, the whole day just turned around.

treehugginbride · September 2013

I agree with others that just taking a shower and getting dressed makes a huge difference in the way you feel. Normally I don't leave the house much anyway, I've been a bit of a hermit for a long time, but if I at least put LO in the moby and just walk around in the sunshine for at least 15 minutes everyday I feel loads better. And alot of it will just come with time. Let the house be a wreck- it's terrible and it won't help you feel better, but its more important for you to rest than to clean. i am finally starting to feel normal again this week, and I thought for a while I never would.

Slpafford · September 2013

MrsWahidi said:
I could have written your exact post. I love snuggling dd and seeing her smiles, but at the same time I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my old life, my old body, my old marriage. It's a big change.

This is exactly how I have been feeling. I haven't been able to really describe it until I read this, but mourning the loss of my old life is the perfect way I put it. Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling this way even though I love my little man more than I could have ever imagined being able to love someone. Feels good to know I'm not the only one!

MinnesotaMomma91 · September 2013

Slpafford said:

MrsWahidi said:
I could have written your exact post. I love snuggling dd and seeing her smiles, but at the same time I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my old life, my old body, my old marriage. It's a big change.

This is exactly how I have been feeling. I haven't been able to really describe it until I read this, but mourning the loss of my old life is the perfect way I put it. Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling this way even though I love my little man more than I could have ever imagined being able to love someone. Feels good to know I'm not the only one!

I think we all mourn it at some point. Ds had been home about two weeks when out of the blue i was sobbing hysterically because i missed my 'fun' life. I called up one of my friends who joined AA when i was about four months pregnant.

She actually did a wonderful job of reminding me how much better things are now for both of us and how aweful it was living our old party lifestyle.

For what its worth she was right. I dont actually miss the boozing or the clubbing. I have an awesome bf who loves ds and i, im getting my education, and i have a beautiful healthy strong little boy.

TurtleMomma · September 2013

hstautz said:
I've been put on medication for PPD. For me it's different. The bad out weighs the good and I just want the feelings of anxiety and saddness to stop. I feel like crawling out I my skin sometimes it's so bad. I'm so thankful I have a supportive husband and mother both of whom have been helping. I feel disconnected from LO. I didn't have the feelings of love and joy when I saw LO but they grow everyday. I've just been taking it 30 min at a time. Sometimes it's a good 30 min sometimes it's not. I've had to changedy thinking to know that this will just have to pass. I hope you feel better! I pray every day when I wake up from a nap it will be a good 30 min.

This is exactly the situation I'm in. im 5w pp and I still consistently wonder if I love my lo. I care for him (feed, change, bounce to sleep, etc) but do I *love* him? I have to force myself to talk to him and smile around him. Most of the time I just watch him. I don't feel that emotional connection people tell me I should have.

CBiggs85 · September 2013

TurtleMomma said:

hstautz said:
I've been put on medication for PPD. For me it's different. The bad out weighs the good and I just want the feelings of anxiety and saddness to stop. I feel like crawling out I my skin sometimes it's so bad. I'm so thankful I have a supportive husband and mother both of whom have been helping. I feel disconnected from LO. I didn't have the feelings of love and joy when I saw LO but they grow everyday. I've just been taking it 30 min at a time. Sometimes it's a good 30 min sometimes it's not. I've had to changedy thinking to know that this will just have to pass. I hope you feel better! I pray every day when I wake up from a nap it will be a good 30 min.
This is exactly the situation I'm in. im 5w pp and I still consistently wonder if I love my lo. I care for him (feed, change, bounce to sleep, etc) but do I *love* him? I have to force myself to talk to him and smile around him. Most of the time I just watch him. I don't feel that emotional connection people tell me I should have.

Maybe that will change once LO becomes more interactive and gives you the first genuine smile

lydsyjane · September 2013

A good shower always makes me feel so much more human.. and if I get to shave? Jackpot!!

TurtleMomma · September 2013

CBiggs85 said:

TurtleMomma said:

hstautz said:
I've been put on medication for PPD. For me it's different. The bad out weighs the good and I just want the feelings of anxiety and saddness to stop. I feel like crawling out I my skin sometimes it's so bad. I'm so thankful I have a supportive husband and mother both of whom have been helping. I feel disconnected from LO. I didn't have the feelings of love and joy when I saw LO but they grow everyday. I've just been taking it 30 min at a time. Sometimes it's a good 30 min sometimes it's not. I've had to changedy thinking to know that this will just have to pass. I hope you feel better! I pray every day when I wake up from a nap it will be a good 30 min.
This is exactly the situation I'm in. im 5w pp and I still consistently wonder if I love my lo. I care for him (feed, change, bounce to sleep, etc) but do I *love* him? I have to force myself to talk to him and smile around him. Most of the time I just watch him. I don't feel that emotional connection people tell me I should have.
Maybe that will change once LO becomes more interactive and gives you the first genuine smile

I hope so. The mommy guilt is crippling.

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