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Child Support

Leahrose518Leahrose518 member
in Single Parents
I had my baby 9/3. My ex attended the birth but hasn't been here since then. I was a high risk pregnancy and have had a difficult recovery post c section. I'm still in the hospital. I will be here for a few more days. I have decided to make the best of my hospital stay and enjoy the bonding time with my baby. I recently found out that my ex has a new job and is still working his current job. My ex refused to sign the birth certificate because I would not give the baby his last name but he does acknowledge that the baby is his. He texts me daily to tell me he won't sign it until I change the baby's last name. I would like to start the child support procedure. What were the steps you took in filing for child support? Approximately how long did the process take? I didn't make this baby alone and I don't feel like all the responsibility should fall on me while he pretends to be father of the year to his friends. I have a decent paying job and I can afford to take care of the baby on my salary. Some people have told me just to let it go and not file. What would you do? I feel like he needs to be a man and take care of his responsibility especially when we planned to have a child together.
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Re: Child Support

  • EarthandFireEarthandFire member
    I'd say if he's going to be a part of LO's life, he should pay. Even if he's choosing not to he should unless you have a good reason for him not to for instance his being a danger to LO. Some with dangerous ex's have an unsaid agreement; no CS no visitation kind of thing.

    CS is easy, go to your states CSE office's website and fill out the paperwork or request the paperwork. This will set up CS but not give you a CO with custody/visitation mapped out. If you need/want that you'll need to go to a private lawyer. The nice thing about CSE is that they will require he take a DNA test or sign a paternity acknowledgement so they can establish paternity and financial responsibility. He can't hide behind his objections to LO's name. Once paternity is established I wouldn't think he could use the name as a bargaining chip when establishing custody and visitation. At that point if he doesn't fight for visitation he still pays CS and you get custody. A lawyer will know best. In some states the unwed mother has custody by default. In others both parents have equal rights without a court order. Hope that helps.
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  • Leahrose518Leahrose518 member
    Thank you!! I've set up an appt with a lawyer. I want my baby to have his father in his life, but only if his father will behave like a father should. I've never been though this process but I will keep a positive attitude during it.
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  • bakingkittybakingkitty member
    Now I know in my state, the father has the right to change the child's last name to his unless you can prove why that shouldn't be done. Just an FYI.
    26 yr old single mama to Violet Jane, Worker Drone to the Man and perpetual student. Image and video hosting by TinyPic9/7/2012
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic 1 week old
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  • CoIvieCoIvie member
    bakingkitty said:

    Now I know in my state, the father has the right to change the child's last name to his unless you can prove why that shouldn't be done. Just an FYI.

    wow really!? Where do you live?
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  • EarthandFireEarthandFire member
    bakingkitty said:

    Now I know in my state, the father has the right to change the child's last name to his unless you can prove why that shouldn't be done. Just an FYI.

    And WHY?!! As a parent with a GD who is not in the picture and can't change a name w/o his permission, that sounds ludicrous. It can be very confusing for a child to have a different last name than there mother when the father is not or not consistently in the picture.
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  • bakingkittybakingkitty member
    It is Texas state law that once the paternity is proven, the child's father has the right to have the child's name amended to his unless the child's mother can prove why this shouldn't be done. Honestly, most men truly don't fight for it though
    26 yr old single mama to Violet Jane, Worker Drone to the Man and perpetual student. Image and video hosting by TinyPic9/7/2012
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic 1 week old
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  • babymama619babymama619 member
    bakingkitty said:

    Now I know in my state, the father has the right to change the child's last name to his unless you can prove why that shouldn't be done. Just an FYI.

    I have heard this before from some southern residents. Definitely not common, at least up north!

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