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First day back to school!

agibbyagibby member
in Blended Families

It was my SS's very first day of Kindergarten, then I have a 2nd grader, 4th grader and 6th grader! It went well, except when BM saw me and loudly said "Oh Good Grief!". Sorry lady, better get used to me being in SS's life. I care about SS, I support SS,  I want him to succeed and I'm in it for the long haul  :)

I find it really sad that SS's new SF wasn't there. He has never come to anything relating to SS and school or preschool or extra curricular events. SF is  with SS half the time (50/50 joint) so wouldn't ya think SF should show his support? I mean really, first day of Kindergarten is a HUGE event for a kid.

And me, I can't believe I have a middle schooler. Next up... teen hormones, lol. Which reminds me, I need to have that in depth sex talk with DS. Gulp.

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Re: First day back to school!

  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    My DH hasn't been able to be at any of the kids' first day of school.  Se starts work at 6:30 a.m., and is the only X-ray Tech in the office.  So it's usually just me, and I take photos and text them to him.  It's not that DH doesn't want to be there, but his schedule really doesn't permit him to be late for work.  It sucks, but that's what happens when you're an adult.  Maybe SF sees how resentful BM is towards you being there and he wants to avoid a similar resentment from your DH?

    And if it helps at all, BM in my situation throws a fit whenever I attend things for K also.  When she makes those comments, just smile and say, "I know, it IS really warm today isn't it?!" or "I know, I can't believe he's already in Kindergarten either!".  I've found that this type of comment defuses the situation for others (parents, teachers, etc) and kind of forces BM to behave herself unless she really wants to make a scene.
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  • agibbyagibby member

    Yes, I usually just smile and focus on something with SS :) I'm not sure what it is with SF. DH can't pick up SS at BM's house, always has to be at the gas station. The other day BM let him pick up SS at their house, but had to wait at the end of the driveway lol. The childish behavior just irks me, and I can only hope it changes one day.

    That's too bad for your DH. It's so nice that you are able to go and take pictures and text them to him!

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  • Lavender PLavender P member
    agibby said:

    I find it really sad that SS's new SF wasn't there. He has never come to anything relating to SS and school or preschool or extra curricular events. SF is  with SS half the time (50/50 joint) so wouldn't ya think SF should show his support? I mean really, first day of Kindergarten is a HUGE event for a kid.

    .

    I know I'm kind of late to the party but that statement above really annoys me. I'm from an intact family and my parents valued education above anything else. My dad never made it to the first day of school and was out of the house usually a few hours before we were even awake. People work really hard to support their families and missing out on the first day of kindergarten or whatever will not scar a kid. Especially as a grown up, Ive realized just how much my dad sacrificed for us and how hard it must have been for him to be away and work so much.
    "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu
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  • agibbyagibby member
    I know he works 2nd shift. And like I also said, SF has never shown up for anything relating to SS. The above was not a general statement, it was directly related to SF. My dad worked hard to
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    I have teacher friends that missed their own kids first days. I get that it is a general vent but you also seem to imply with your last statement about your Dad working hard too that if parents care they would be there and that is not always true.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • agibbyagibby member

    I got interrupted there with my kids. My dad worked hard too and did not show up to our first days of school because of his work schedule. So in no way was I knocking anyone else. I was specifically relating to my situation. And like I said, SF does not show to anything relating to SS' school or extra curriculars. I find it strange is all. Am I in the minority of people who think you should be supportive of your stepchildren?

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  • mom2onemom2one member
    Sorry but first day of kindergarten is a very emotional day for many moms.  She was probably annoyed you were there and maybe asked her husband NOT to come so that her son's parents could have the day together with their child.
    Stay at Home Mama to 3 Beautiful Children by the miracles of Birth & Adoption
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    Was this at the school? I will step out on a branch and say I think it is weird that parents go to the school unless dropping off kids. I got my son on the bus and did the weird Mom ritual of following the bus the less than 1/2 mile to school and saw he was safe but did not get out of the car. I would find it very weird to see a family of Mom, Dad, SF and SM all at the school. I think it is unnecessary and does not show support. Helping a kid with homework and going to soccer practice or an art show is being supportive. So it is not a flame but my honest opinion is that I would find it odder for the SD to be there if the father is there not because he is hiding but that it is not necessary. He might have given the kid a kiss in the morning and told him to have an awesome day and then asked all about it at night, you don't know. I do find it weird if you mean he is literally never there for anything.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • agibbyagibby member
    I do mean he is literally never there for anything. SS doesn't get bussed by either BM or BD. Because of the week on week off schedule it just works better to drive him to school. I'm at my kids school often lol. I volunteer, am on PTO board, keep in touch with teachers and sometimes pop in to have lunch with all the kids, including SS, if I can work it around my work schedule :) 

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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    How many parents stop by to have lunch with their kids at school? This is not popular here so I find that beyond weird.

    I think you seem to keep trying to post that you are so involved and great and step-Dad is not there so hmBM and him suck. And they really might suck but having lunch at your kids school and being on the PTA are things most really involved great Dad's would never do. So stop comparing.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • MrsHetzelMrsHetzel member
    mom2one said:

    Sorry but first day of kindergarten is a very emotional day for many moms.  She was probably annoyed you were there and maybe asked her husband NOT to come so that her son's parents could have the day together with their child.

    Not trying to sound snarky but this is such a moot point and this is why families are so messed up nowadays. If you're going to have a child and not stay with the other parent, you have to accept that your child will have another parent in their lives. Kids from separated families have 4 parents, 2 obvious parents, and 2 parents in the "supporting actor/actress" role, but nonetheless important people in that child's life. If you can't handle another person being there for your kid, then you shouldn't have separated from the other parent. You gave up the closed family of mom dad and baby, now it's mom dad step dad step mom baby and possibly step/half siblings. THAT is the family now. Once you break up the mom dad baby family, you have no say on how the family is changed on the other parents end.

    Just food for thought. Flame if you must.
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  • agibbyagibby member
    ugh. who said I was comparing. I'm not on the PTO or stopping by for lunch for BM or SF. I do that because I want to stay involved in my children's educations, and the kids like to have parents there for lunch. you should try it sometime.
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  • agibbyagibby member
    mom2one said:
    Sorry but first day of kindergarten is a very emotional day for many moms.  She was probably annoyed you were there and maybe asked her husband NOT to come so that her son's parents could have the day together with their child.
    BD asks that I be there at those times. He knows how involved I am with our other children (who he adopted BTW)  in school. He really wanted me there.  I'm there 50% of SS's life. I'm not going to idly sit by and watch from the sidelines as he grows up, and I will never treat him any differently than our other children. I was in a blended family growing up, and my adopted dad's  family treated me as 2nd string. No way is that happening in my household. I was at our other children's first days of kindergarten to walk them in the school, and wanted to be there for SS too. In fact, I take all the kids to their first days of school. It's a tradition, and one I will carry on for ALL our children.
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