Drinking while caring for LO's

Maebb · September 2013

Another post made me think of this.

DH and I both work FT, and we both typically have a drink in the evening. Usually I'll just have one glass of wine or one beer. DH might have 2, but we both would still be able to drive, take proper care of DS, etc. Not drunk, in other words. We never talk about who is the designated caretaker, but we both watch DS and both drink in moderation. So what is your arrangement or agreement regarding drinking and taking care of your children?

I am not asking to be judgy, but I honestly never thought about it before since we only drink in moderation.

I tried to make the poll choices inclusive for single parents, but feel free to elaborate in the comments.

chardonnay24 · September 2013

Sometimes we'll both drink, but we almost always designate one of us as the "no more than one drink and is responsible for the kid" person and the other as the "can drink as much as they want and sleep in the next morning" person.

ETA: We usually wait until he's in bed just because if I'm going to drink, I want to do it alone and not with a toddler climbing on me, begging for "mama's juice", or getting into some sort of trouble, causing me to get off the couch, abandon my drink, and go deal with him. I'm not opposed to drinking in front of him, though.

missyishere · September 2013

Same as @chardonnay24 except neither of us get sauced anymore, because /old.

CurlyQ284 · September 2013

I don't think having a beer or glass of wine is a problem for both parents drinking. Im not a big drinker, DH will have a beer in the evening etc. If I make sangria though, I tend to go a little overboard because it's delicious so I wait until DS is in bed to start drinking it and DH will be on kid duty if he wakes up.

Maebb · September 2013

Funny that both of the people who commented first kind of have alcohol in their screen names.

chardonnay24 · September 2013

Maebb said:

Funny that both of the people who commented first kind of have alcohol in their screen names.

My screen name is deceiving. It's actually my cat's name and she was named by the Humane Society. :-)

insertclevername · September 2013

When I am not KTFU, DH or I may have a drink while DS is still awake. Once he is asleep, if one of us is drinking the other will only have a drink at most. There is always a sober adult in the house in case of an emergency.

Maebb · September 2013

@chardonnay24, good to know. I wasn't calling you a lush or anything, but I just thought it was a funny coincidence.

LuckyDad · September 2013

Drinking does bad things to DW's tummy, so for us this is somewhat moot.

If I'm by myself with DS I'm sober. I suppose if he's asleep at night sometimes I have a single beer.

NativeFloridian · September 2013

We'll typically both have one drink, but sometimes one or the other of us will have just the one and allow the other to have more than that, depending on if one of us had an exceptionally shitty day or something like that.

meaglamillion · September 2013

SS we both wait until they are asleep to drink, but on the occasion the kids' godfather comes over and then dh will have a couple of beers with him and I will weight until bedtime.

MrsT0514 · September 2013

Both DH and I would be comfortable having a drink or two while DS is awake, but usually like PPs have mentioned, we'll usually designate one person as the designated caretaker and the other can drink as wanted. Once DS is in bed, and isn't sick or anything out of the ordinary, we'd both be ok with having a few, as long as one of us isn't sauced.

But nowadays, DH barely ever drinks anymore so its pretty much a non issue.

theseaword · September 2013

I quit getting drunk before we were even TTC (not because of TTC) so I've been limiting myself to one or two drinks for awhile. I can still always drive and nurse. DH enjoys a drink or two every evening, but he drinks them suuuuuper slowly and never even approaches drunk.

Gosh, I miss beer though.

mrs.schmitty · September 2013

I did SS because I wouldn't necessarily say that I get drunk and DH is the designated caregiver per se although I can see how my post may have come across that way.

Typically, in my house, DH gets home and takes DS while I finish cooking dinner. Usually I have a glass of wine or beer while I finish cooking and during dinner (usually the same glass). We eat dinner together and then hang out for a bit before DS bedtime. If DS needs a bath, DH will usually do it although DS usually showers or bathes with one of us in the AM. DH and I always put DH to bed together if we're both home. Once DS is in bed, I usually have another 1-2 glasses of wine or beer. DH, on the other hand, may have 1 drink at dinner or after DS goes to bed but he is not a heavy drinker and almost never has more than 1 drink ever.

So typically, I have anywhere from 2-4 drinks (and sometimes but not often DH has 1) but I am rarely ever "drunk" and I still watch/hang out with DS before he goes to bed. DH just tends to do more of the heavy lifting at night. It works for us.

ReeseFox · September 2013

SS - I don't drink most of the time, but when I do it's usually one drink or two at the most and always after the baby is asleep (because I want to enjoy my drink). DH typically has at least one beer on a weeknight but on weekends pretty much drinks from about 2 pm until he goes to bed (if he's just sitting at home, not if we have plans). So I say all that to say, I'm basically the DD in our house but sometimes I drink.

aglenn · September 2013

SS. I am too tired to get drunk any more, period. But I will have a drink in the evening before the kids are down, maybe a couple if it's the weekend and we get an early start. The thing is, when the kids are awake it takes forever to actually finish a glass of wine, so there is no possible way I'm impaired. Then by the time they are asleep I have another and generally can't keep my eyes open any longer, so that is that.

BluepointToasted · September 2013

I think I might get "drunk" enough that I can't take care of DS maybe, oh, once a year. And it's never at home, usually at a bar or wedding or something where I am without DS. I would say that even if I have a whopping 3 drinks at home, I am more than sober enough to take care of DS if he were to wake up. Usually I limit it to 2, but that is more because I just get tired!

monkeybutt61612 · September 2013

I'm not a drinker, my husband usually drinks a few every night. It's not a big deal for us. However, I do enjoy an Ambien every now and then. When I take one (or two) my husband is in charge and doesn't get drunk.

Spin313 · September 2013

SS: DH and I are not really drinkers so this has never been an issue. I don't think we've ever gone to dinner and ordered drinks when we have the kids with us...maybe at a family event, like Christmas, we'll have drinks in front of them.

I don't think it's a big deal to have an occasional glass of wine, beer, etc in front of your child, but I'd probably side eye couples knocking drinks back every single night.

MelissaRae1525 · September 2013

I only drink once LO is in bed and only 2 at most since he's breastfed.

jbatch · September 2013

We have wine with dinner a couple times a week.. But that's only one glass..

HappyMess15 · September 2013

Based off lurking I assumed the majority of posters drank moderately to excessively. I guess there is the option that you all have sitters or something. I have to get my drink on with kids here, usually sleeping, because noone will ever fucking babysit for us. I can have 4 or 5 small glasses of wine and not feel impaired though.

MrsT0514 · September 2013

@HappyMess15 I hear ya on then lack of sitters deal. We don't have anyone locally yet, and all of our family lives out of state.

I really only drink once or twice a week, and when I do I normally have a few, but still dont ever feel unable to care for DS when needed. But it also is a plus that DH barely ever drinks anymore nowadays.

proudworkingmom82 · September 2013

If DD is in bed I might have one drink, that's it. But that is very rare. Mostly I only drink when she is at her dads or at grandparents. Because I don't drink much I have a very low tolerance so any more than 1 drink would render me unable to drive or take care of her.

PunkyBooster · September 2013

We drink. Neither of us get drunk anymore. We're old.

HappyMess15 · September 2013

@MrsT0514 how about when you have family that simply never offers or flakes out? So annoying! I just want to say to them, don't you see how cute my kids are?!? Lol. So yeah, we don't get date nights and sometimes need some wine to unwind.

Eleventy11 · September 2013

I voted SS. I've been pregnant or nursing for the past two + years, so we haven't had a lot of opportunity. When I was just nursing, we might have a drink or two after the last feeding. My mom lives right next door, and is always available if we need her.

Want a personalized experience?

Drinking while caring for LO's

Drinking while caring for LO's 141 votes

Re: Drinking while caring for LO's

Choose Another Board

Search Boards