Limiting Visitors? — The Bump
Military Families

Limiting Visitors?

I have posted in the past about how my unit wants to visit me at home when LO arrives. Well my first sergeant was just in my office explaining that once he got notice that I had the baby that him and the leadership would be visiting me in the hospital. I am not thrilled about this, but even saying so is causing an issue. I'm considering limiting or excluding hospital visitors all together. We don't have family here anyway. Has anyone else had to deal with something similar or can anyone give advice since my pregnancy clouded brain is too exhausted to come up with anything? :-) TIA!

BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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Re: Limiting Visitors?

  • I mean, they can come to the hospital all they want, but you don't have to let them into your hospital room.  I'm pretty sure you can leave instructions with the nursing staff that you want NO VISITORS in your room (or that you only want certain people).

    I would start by telling your sergeant how uncomfortable their visit would make you, and that you really want that time to focus on bonding with your new baby and your husband.  Ask why they feel they need to visit you.  Do they have any concerns about you or the care you'll be getting?   It seems really strange to me that they insist on visiting you. But yeah, they can't legally force their way into your hospital room.  HIPPA and all that.
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  • My supervisors wanted to visit me in the hospital.  I just told them we weren't accepting any visitors while in the hospital but would bring the baby by the office later.  No explanation.  I also told the hospital not to let any visitors in to see us.  No problem.  

    I think it would have been embarrassing for a bunch of male supervisors to have seen me postpartum.  I had blood all over my bed and my hospital gown.  I was pale from loss of blood.  My baby had an allergic reaction and was fussy.  We hadn't slept for 2 days.  I could barely walk from all the "repairs."  I guess some women do childbirth gracefully.  I was definitely not one and people from work just need to respect that.  By the time you go back to work full time they'll forget anyway.  Especially if you stop by the office a couple weeks later.
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  • Also, you'll be learning to breastfeed your baby.  Not exactly a modest endeavor.

  • I would just have the nursing staff tell any visitors that you are sleeping and can't be disturbed when they come.  That way, it doesn't seem like you are forbidding it and it puts it on the nurses.  My nurses never minded putting them blame on them when it came to unwanted visitors.  
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  • I would just say you aren't planning on having visitors in the hospital but would be happy to have them over once you're home and settled.  I was at a civilian hospital, but when I filled out my registration I was asked if I wanted to limit or restrict visitors at all.  Nurses will gladly be the one to take the heat for you if they show up uninvited.  

    Also you just never know what will happen or how your stay will be.  I had a textbook pregnancy with no problems at all, and ended up needing an emergency c/s and my baby was in the NICU for 5 days.  The only people we had come to the hospital were my parents since they were in town because visitors were limited in the NICU and there was no point.  If I had people expecting to just show up I would be really annoyed.  
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  • Thanks for the advice ladies. I will make sure that my wishes are put out and then employ the nurses as a back up in case people decide to just show up. I really didn't think this was going to turn into what it has. Meeting at my home was one thing, but after my baby is born in the hospital is another.

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image 

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