Community› The Bump Message Boards› Blended Families
Blended Families
New Discussion

New to this

cdominique11cdominique11 member
in Blended Families
So me and my SO are expecting our first child together. We both have kids from previous relationships. His daughter's mom hates me. I want his daughter to have a relationship with her sibling. How do I break the tent ion between the ex and myself??
Report Reply to Post

Re: New to this

  • xmaryrickxxmaryrickx member
    You probably can't. You can't control her feelings.
    However, what does her not liking you have to do with your SOs children not having a relationship with your impending child? Does he not see his kids now?
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • cdominique11cdominique11 member
    No, she doesn't let him see her, because we are together.
    Report Reply
  • xmaryrickxxmaryrickx member
    Does he have a court order?
    Report Reply
  • dmndsr4evadmndsr4eva member
    Are you the first person he dated after they broke up?  It seems like that person tends to get on the sh*t list.  Not sure if there is a whole lot you can do other than just be good to her child and be friendly if you see her.  How old is his daughter?
    Report Reply
  • ambrvanambrvan member
    If he has a court order/custody arrangement, then she has to follow it or be in contempt of the law.

    If he does not, then he needs one now. There is no excuse not to have one. It protects all parties involved.

    If he does not want a court order, then he does not care to be a consistent part of his current child's life and you should take that into consideration as to what kind of father he will be to your child. Not saying this is the case, but just covering all the bases since there was not much info to go on in your original post.

    Otherwise, you can't change her attitude. Kill her with kindness. Never talk bad about her, last something get back through the grapevine.never be the one to stop to the same low level of hatred or bitterness.

    Good luck with everything.
    Report Reply
  • cdominique11cdominique11 member
    No, he has dated someone else before me.
    His daughter is 4yrs.
    He's in the process of getting a court order. He is a loving dad. When she let him talk to her on the phone, he cries every time he hears her voice. In the past, i broke it off with him so he can be with his daughter. But we couldn't stay away from each other.
    I hate being the reason his ex keeps his daughter from him
    Report Reply
  • Lavender PLavender P member
    Ditto to the PPs saying he needs a CO ASAP.

    Don't feel guilty for being the reason he can't see his DD. If it wasn't you, BM would have some other excuse to keep her from him. People like that can rationalize anything.
    "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu
    Report Reply
  • cdominique11cdominique11 member
    No they were never married
    Report Reply
  • MrsHetzelMrsHetzel member
    wendilea said:

    Playing Devil's Advocate - if there's no CO, each parent is entitled to full custody of the child until the OTHER parent proves otherwise. 

    A CO is a must - were they ever married?  Typically this is taken care of in the divorce proceedings.

    This is a state by state law. There are still many states where the mother is assumed full custody from day 1 until a court order is put in place to state otherwise.
    Report Reply
  • twister22twister22 member
    When did SO file for a CO? When is the court date? Is he going to try to mediate something with BM? What kind of visitation arrangement do they have if he's not dating you?
    image
    Report Reply
  • cdominique11cdominique11 member
    Idk what arrangements they had when we was apart. The court date is coming up soon.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"