Wedding question

StokedWifey · September 2013

If people didn't show up to your wedding after they RSVPed, did you ask them why? We had at least 15 people RSVP and not show, but I never contacted anybody.

We were supposed to go to one a few weeks ago, but had some Bryson issues and missed it. I sent the bride a text apologizing, but apparently she didn't get it. She texted me last week and asked why we missed and I forgot to respond. I just got another that said "Did you get my text?" Now it's all awkward and since she has never understood me not being able to do things (dinner at 10 PM on a Wednesday night, etc) because of Bryson, I don't know how to answer! Any suggestions? I want/need to respond, but can't come up with something that doesn't sound like I just tried to get out of it.

StokedWifey · September 2013

bellaxanthe said:

I asked a friend of theirs why they couple didn't make it, but not the couple themselves. FWIW she had a sick kid and although I wish she would have just acknowledged it in the first place or apologized, I don't care at all now.

I think I would just say "I'm so sorry you didn't get the text and of course I am bummed that we missed it. I was looking forward to it. Tell me all about it!" Then it diverts it back to a happy thought and gets you off the hook.

You're a genius! I love "Tell me all about it!"

pinkangelmoon · September 2013

I would text her back the message you sent originally. For a wedding I would definitely make sure the bride knew I had a good reason to miss it and wasn't just being a flake. I would have asked had this happened at our wedding.

snickersforeveryone · September 2013

It's weird to me that she's asking so bluntly, but if someone I expected to show (and was close to) didn't come to my wedding, I'd be worried. I would probably ask around just to be sure that guest or guests were OK.
In your case, I think Bella hit the nail on the head. Apologize profusely, ask about the wedding, and maybe ask if she'd like to go out to lunch sometime and fill you in on all you missed or share pictures.

lewispm · September 2013

Could you send her a copy of your original text to her and let her know that you tried to contact her before? I get the whole non-parent friends not understanding thing though because it is beyond true.

I'd say give her your excuse, let her know you tried to contact her already about it and how sorry you are, and let her deal with it how she pleases. If she doesn't understand, then too bad for her. Maybe she will understand one day when she has a child of her own and feel bad about being so pushy and not understanding (non understanding? un understanding? anti understanding???).

And, no, I didn't go back and ask many people if they RSVPed and missed anyway. I think a few contacted me with excuses, but I'm not one to hold grudges about that kind of thing so I don't even remember.

StokedWifey · September 2013

Thanks, girls. I responded to her and she for sure hadn't gotten my text. Unfortunately, I just did a text cleanup, so it wasn't there to resend.

Kdoy705 · September 2013

I had a few no-shows on the day of my wedding, including the BF of one of my really good friends. i was really perplexed as to why he RSVP'ed yes, but yet she didn't even offer a single word on why he didn't attend. there were others who didn't show up either, but to be honest, some of the people who didn't show up, i didn't miss! so...in a way, you can be flattered since she must really care about you! one idea is to send a wedding card in the mail with a nice handwritten note. i think that is a nice, personal way to make amends. if you think it is appropriate, pop in a wedding gift card as well to wherever she registered. even if you don't include a gift, a nice handwritten note is an old-fashioned way to send her a message. let us know what happens!

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