"Open House" Baby Shower: Rude or Genius?

Babycakes29 · December 2011

So my mom and I are thinking we're going to have an open house baby shower. I'm PERSONALLY not a huge fan of shower games at all. In fact, I pretty much hate them. I also don't really like the part where the person sits in the front of the room opening gifts while everyone 'oohs and aaahs', especially because often the mommies2be don't really like being in the front of the room themselves. Center of attention + worry about appropriate reaction to each gift = unnecessary nervousness and anxiety.

I think I'd like it if a shower was more like a little party or get-together. That way the mommy2be can have more time to chat with and appreciate each guest. It also allows for people to be able to come and go as they need to. Oftentimes people don't want to have to stay through the opening of the presents but they feel it'd be rude of them to leave. This way no one has to feel like they are being rude.

HOWEVER, I worry about traditionalists being offended by this. I don't want people to think we want them to just come drop a present, eat a snack and leave. I mean, I'd hope people would know me well enough to not assume such a thing but ya never know. I KNOW my MIL will think its an awful idea because she is VERY traditional.

Has anyone ever heard of, been to, or maybe had their own open house shower?

dragon_chica · December 2011

I believe this is called a Sip 'n See or something like that. I've heard of what you described and to me I don't see any faux pas being done as long as the MTB isn't the one hosting it.

MelleTX · December 2011

I think this as fine. I've heard it called a "Come and Go" shower. My only suggestion is to make sure you open the gift in front of the giver. Don't just set it aside and open them later. People want to see you open their gift. Greet your guest, open their present, oooh and ahhh while you catch up, then have the hostess set the present out on a table for all to see.

If you start to get a line built up, have your hostess gently direct them to drinks or snacks and then make your rounds.

EastCoastBride · December 2011

My advice - read this. I think this will cover a lot of feelings on this topic.

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61330667.aspx

Gift opening- yes, I actually do find it rude for you to not take the time to open the gifts that your friends and family took the time to buy for you and would like to see you open. You're going to be the center of attention no matter what - so I really dont' get that arguement. And really - it's THAT hard to react positively to a gift? It's really THAT anxiety ridden? Come on.

Games - I didnt' have games at my shower and it was just fine, and I've been to other showers that haven't had them. Not a big deal.

But the gift opening part of it... people will be put off by it.

And as an FYI , I see a "sip n' see" for AFTER the baby is here - the "see" part is about seeing the baby.

rhubarb123 · December 2011

To answer your question: no, I have never been to an open house type SHOWER. I have been to open house type celebrations once baby was born. At those gifts were not opened until the end...some people stuck around and watched but most didn't.

To comment on your post: you don't have to have shower games at a shower...they are not required to have a shower. You don't have to have an open house type "shower" to get away from having games.

As far as opening gifts in front of people or being the "center of attention"..you are an adult having a child. If you think this is "hard" try being the "center of attention" at delivery. Opening a few gifts a shower is a breeze. It is one hour out of your life. I think you can handle it and not disappoint your guests.

Since you mentioned and/or are worried that there will be traditionilsts there that could be offended I think you should respect that and go the traditonal route. I am a traditonalist to a point and I would be very offended if I didn't see you open the gift I spend time and money on to get you. Actually, I'd be pissed and probably demand you open it in front of me. lol That is part of the shower I like most...watching the MTB open the gifts...I like to see what she got. I think a lot of people like part of the shower - more so than mingling with a bunch of people I don't know.

Liz4444 · December 2011

For some reason, the thing that keeps popping into my head is the MTB standing at the front door like a flight attendant during the safety instructions...

Gifts to the left, snacks to the right, thank you for flying air baby shower, buh-bye.

angelfire02 · December 2011

I agree that I don't really like the idea of dropping off a gift, eating a snack and then leaving. I personally hate shower games (but will play along if that's what the MTB wants) but I love watching people open their gifts and see what people come up with. I really like the idea of a sip and see, but for sure after the baby is born. I think it's fine to have a very laid back relaxed shower, we had one last year for a friend. We all hung out and talked, ate, she opened her gifts, and we were done!

Disneygeek77 · December 2011

I think as long as you open a person's gift in front of them, it woud be ok. A lot of people get joy out of gift giving and seeing a person's reaction when they open it. I don't particularily enjoy being the center of attention and having people wait for my reaction either, but I figure if someone took time out of their day to buy, wrap and give me a gift; I can certainly take a few seconds to smile and say thank you.

Ivana_Stolichnaya · December 2011

MelleTX:
I think this as fine. I've heard it called a "Come and Go" shower. My only suggestion is to make sure you open the gift in front of the giver. Don't just set it aside and open them later. People want to see you open their gift. Greet your guest, open their present, oooh and ahhh while you catch up, then have the hostess set the present out on a table for all to see.
If you start to get a line built up, have your hostess gently direct them to drinks or snacks and then make your rounds.

I totally agree.

dojo1 · December 2011

I don't think it's a great idea - people coming in at all times will mean you're having very quick hellos with guests before you're off to welcome the next person in. You'd be opening presents the entire time, rather than all at once, plus it would be difficult for you or someone else to take note of the gift / sender so that you can write a thank you card later. Your hosts might find it stressful not knowing when people were going to arrive / when to put out hot hors d'oeuvres and how many.

You don't have to play games at your shower and it can be low-key and conversational while avoiding the disorganization of a drop-in.

lulling · December 2011

I personally think open house showers are a great idea. I hate shower games and I hate watching the gift opening. I know what I bought her and I have a good idea what other people bought her as well as I just saw her registry. I do not need to see my gift opened to make me feel like a better person.

I would rather have a bite to eat, chat with friends, congratulate the new mother and go home. I don't really know anyone under the age of 45 that enjoys traditional showers. Now, if you are having an older crowd that may be something to consider. Maybe they would enjoy a traditional shower more.

MichelleWest85 · December 2011

My hubby's cousin had an open house shower and it was very awkward feeling. I am not a big fan of it...

Instead of games you could have guests write a note to your baby or something themed like their dreams for your baby, etc. A friend of mine did this for her bridal shower (it was fall themed); they had paper leaf cutouts from a craft store on each table at each setting (so that nothing had to be passed out). Guests were encouraged to write a note for the bride and groom. It was fun going through them; some were funny, some sweet, some serious. She put them in a scrapbook.

Cece0601 · December 2011

The people that will be attending your shower have gone out of their way to buy you a gift. The least you can do is open them up in front of your friends and family who have graciously chosen to spend the day with you. Personally, I'm not a fan of being the center of attention either but it's one day and in the grand scheme of things, very low on the list of uncomfortable situations I'm sure you'll face in your life.

As for shower games, don't have any. It's not a requirement. At the past few showers I've been to, there were no games and no one cared. Everyone was too busy eating and socializing with one another.

greengirl0909 · December 2011

I don't know of anyone who goes, hey can't wait til my shower so everyone stares at me all afternoon. Then again, maybe that's just my crowd.

I had a friend who tried to host a come and go shower for a mutual friend. Total flop. The older ladies in the group planted themselves at a table, kept eating the snackies and repeatedly asking when's she going to open the gifts? They wouldn't leave until she did.

Babycakes29 · December 2011

I probably should have mentioned that I fully have every intention of opening presents in front of each person. There will be a "present opening area". Where I will open each gift in front of the person who gave me the gift (and whoever else is standing around and wants to see) then we will likely display the gifts on a table. That way if people want to keep chatting, snacking, eating, or even leave, they don't HAVE to stand there to watch me open gifts.

Some people love seeing all the gifts, but others (myself being one of them) dont. I'd like to accomodate both types of people and I think that's totally possible.

I'm gonna do it.

Thanks for your opinions and recommendations ladies!

courtneyklv · December 2011

Mine was an open house. I live in Las Vegas and those are popular here. Why? Because people all work different shifts and not just the 'normal' 9-5pm. Below are some of the details....

I had traditionalists there as well as many open minded people. My family flew in from Chicago..very traditional.. The shower started at 2pm. Because my family is use to the 'normal' shower..we played some silly games..but not everyone had to be involved. They stayed a few hours, ate, I opened up gifts, socialized..and they went to the strip to gamble. Other people stayed all day for hours on end.

We had tables and chairs set up in a front room of someones house..if people wanted to watch me open gifts, they could have..but didn't have to. We also had seating outside too where people could smoke or hang out. Then I would say around 6pm a second batch of people came in. At this time I opened up gifts again..basically when people arrived.

The party lasted until 2am! I had to go by 11pm for bed! But we had food all day, in chaffers, alcohol, shots, and everything was available for the guests. It was more like a friendly house party then a boring baby shower. (which I took advantage of the guys and made them drink beer out of baby bottles)

If the traditional people wanted to leave early they could have..or stayed, they could have. It worked out for everyone's tastes and we got a great turnout!

Good luck at whatever you choose!

courtneyklv · December 2011

OH! And so that people knew what kind of shower this was...my invitation said...

2pm-?

"Come when you'd like and leave when you please"

BettyBookworm · December 2011

I am very into the whole party atmosphere at a shower. Some folks don't like it, but the revolving door atmosphere with an open house shower really puts me off. I would rather just mail you the gift then, honestly. If I only get about 10 minutes of your time, drop the gift off, you won't even open it, and then to get fobbed off with some pretzels & a glass of punch? Yeah, no thanks.

You can have a short shower-- my shower was an hour at a cute little restaurant private room. We had games to play, but we ended up just chatting and eating instead. Then we opened gifts and that was it. Short, sweet, everyone got to meet everyone (many of whom had never met!) and hang out.

I would much rather have a short, sweet little party than a drive through baby shower. It sounds tacky to me, frankly & since you asked for opinions here I am. If you choose to do it, at least open the gift in front of the person during their 10 minute visiting window. They took the time, effort and care to pick something out just for you & baby. Do them the courtesy of letting them see you open it with glee. Fake it if you have to!

I promise it will be a lot more time and effort to corral all the people coming and going than actually having a traditional shower, but to each their own.

courtneyklv · December 2011

Every single gift we received was opened in front of the guest. And I circulated around and spent time with everyone. There were maybe 10-15 people in at a time so everyone got attention , photos, and our time. And my host and friends cooked on and off all day. No pretzels served..but salads, appetizers,entrees in chaffers, a candy buffet, etc.

rezopkovich · September 2013

Love the open house idea

divinemsbee · September 2013

I get not loving games, I'm not a fan. But, without games or you present opening, what's really left for a 'shower'? I mean, finger sandwiches and making small talk withyour aunts is about it. I'd rather just take you out to lunch where I can have a full sized sandwich and get to see you open the present. Plus, that way I can ask you at a mutually convenient time and don't have to take 2 hours out of a random Saturday to get cute looking and eat chicken salad. Also, it seems like an open house would be a lot more expensive in terms of enough food. I agree with the PP who said that you can just make it short and sweet, especially if you're not having a ton of people. I also think that sometimes people have an open house so that they can invite more people to get more present because then they don't have to host people the shole time.