Back to school night?

forestdancer · September 2013

I'm step mom to Connor age almost 8. My husband and I have a decent relationship with his mom. At sports games we all sit near each other and we try make everything about him and whats best for him. At times we do not agree and we do things differently. My stepson is going into 3rd grade. He really should be in 2nd but he was 2 days short of cut off and his mom pushed him through. My husband did not fight it and I did not think it was the right choice but I did not feel I had much say. Fast forward couple years later. He struggled through each year. I kept telling my husband we should hold them back now then later. But at the end of the year it makes it through. He seems to be trying harder, we got him a summer tutor.

Well the question I really have... My husband usually goes to back to school night with the mom. This year he can not he has school he can't miss. (going back to get degree) Should I just let Mom go or should I go in my Husbands place? I never gone to back to school night or parent teacher before because they both went and I think that's good. I just want to do everything I can to help him do well in school.

Thanks for any advice

fellesferie · September 2013

How is your relationship with mom?

When Connor is in your home, do you ever do his school work with him?

If your relationship with his mom is strained, and/or you do not work with him, I think you should stay home. Everyone's time may be better spent just having YH email the teacher and discuss Connor specifically.

On the other hand, if you frequently do homework with him I think you should go no matter what.

If you go, do not have very high expectations. Open houses would be more aptly named 'mad houses.' At my son's school they go over basics, but I often end up leaving with more questions than I had in the first place.

forestdancer · September 2013

My relationship with mom is good. We do not really do more than small talk and I would not hang out with her outside of anything for him. She is his mom my issues with her are never seen by my stepson.

I am very involved with his school. We read and do math every night over the summer. I help him with his homework when he is home, otherwise my husband does it.

Thanks for input. I will talk with my husband but probably will go.

new+tothis · September 2013

I lean towards going. You are a fixture in his life and actively involved with his school. BD and I are cordial at best but I would be fine with his GF going to something school related for DS without him if they were living together and/or married.

CFjo2010 · September 2013

I agree with PP's and say you should go. Have DH shoot the teacher a courtesy email letting him or her know that you will be attending in his place. Take notes, grab whatever paperwork is being handed out and have DH follow up with the teacher regarding any questions.

I attend K's Back to School Nights, Open Houses and conferences. DH always gives the teachers a heads up and for conferences we schedule them during his lunch so that he's on speaker while I'm there. The teachers have never had any issue with me doing it.

forestdancer · September 2013

Thanks everyone.

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