How come no one told me..

AlexisLA · September 2013

About swings and white noise and swaddles and poop colors and exercise balls and lactation cookies and all the other stuff my life revolves around with LO? Before she was born I thought it was just hanging with the baby, sleeping, and eating but it's so much more complicated than that!

LJUTCMommy · September 2013

You didn't read any baby books? Or talk to BTDT Moms? Or go to a newborn care class?

I was stocked with swaddle blankets, had a blank diaper log ready, had the vacuum available for white noise, bought cases of mother's milk tea, had nursing stations set up around the house, made tons of freezer meals...all before DD arrived.

At work people were acting like I was going to be on vacation for the summer. I knew better though. Life with a newborn is the OPPOSITE of vacation.

thatoneredhead · September 2013

MrsWahidi said:

You didn't read any baby books? Or talk to BTDT Moms? Or go to a newborn care class?

I was stocked with swaddle blankets, had a blank diaper log ready, had the vacuum available for white noise, bought cases of mother's milk tea, had nursing stations set up around the house, made tons of freezer meals...all before DD arrived.

At work people were acting like I was going to be on vacation for the summer. I knew better though. Life with a newborn is the OPPOSITE of vacation.

Im really not trying to be an ass, but cmon.

I had my motherhood planned to a T before this little wrinkly red thing puked all over that.

LJUTCMommy · September 2013

@thatoneredhead Obviously things never go according to plans/expectations with a newborn. However, I feel the things the OP mentioned are kind of the basics. Just surprised she felt like no one told her.

MrsBiggs2Be · September 2013

I mean it is definitely harder than I thought it would be but I took a baby and breastfeeding class and did some research to prepare. Maybe OP is just a procrastinator?

AlexisLA · September 2013

OMG I went to baby care classes at the hospital AND a local birthing class center... but they just talked about changing diapers and breastfeeding and car seats and diaper rash and basic stuff like that.

I DID have swaddle blankets ready but we really needed a Woombie since LO is a houdini. I have a cosleeper and a crib and a basinet but she likes to sleep in the bed with me or a swing. I had a breast pump and baby monitor and mother's milk tea and freezer meals and I prepared as much as I possibly could. I am not an idiot. I am talking more about the other stuff I mentioned that for some reason they didn't tell me about in classes... all of the tips and tricks and items you need if you don't have an easy baby. I don't live near my mother and I don't have experience with babies before.

I never said I thought it was going to be a vacation.. sorry if that came across that way.

JEEZ! Thanks for the support! NOT!
8-}

KLL22 · September 2013

AlexisLA said:

OMG I went to baby care classes at the hospital AND a local birthing class center... but they just talked about changing diapers and breastfeeding and car seats and diaper rash and basic stuff like that.

I DID have swaddle blankets ready but we really needed a Woombie since LO is a houdini. I have a cosleeper and a crib and a basinet but she likes to sleep in the bed with me or a swing. I had a breast pump and baby monitor and mother's milk tea and freezer meals and I prepared as much as I possibly could. I am not an idiot. I am talking more about the other stuff I mentioned that for some reason they didn't tell me about in classes... all of the tips and tricks and items you need if you don't have an easy baby. I don't live near my mother and I don't have experience with babies before.

I never said I thought it was going to be a vacation.. sorry if that came across that way.

JEEZ! Thanks for the support! NOT!
8-}

Me thinks you're back tracking OP....

I knew about everything you listed long before TTC. Also, I HATE it when people say the word "support" on The Bump like that's why we are all here. The Bump is not about support. It's about advertising, money, and the occasional good piece of information with a side of snark.

Ashfann93 · September 2013

This isn't exactly the sort of situation where you wait around to be told what to expect... I mean, nobody can be fully prepared for a newborn, Im sure we each have done a certain amount of flying by the seat of our pants, I know I have. But even a walk around Babies R Us can teach you something about swings and swaddles, white noise devices and lactation aids.

mrsmichigander · September 2013

I didn't read your post as saying you haven't a clue - I actually related to it. I read tons and tons and tons before LO came, and I think what was missing is all the tricks of the trade that mommies know. I am 34; my friends had their kids a decade ago - they barely remember the infant stage. Possibly God's way of helping us cope.

I bought a RnP by chance - had no idea what a blessing it would be. But now reading the boards, something like that seems to be a staple that I've never seen on any list. So although I feel I knew CPR and stocked up on everything my Mayo Clinic guide to pregnancy told me to, I think what I was missing (or as you put it "what noboby told you") was all those details that make caring for a newborn so much easier.

Obviously part of it will be "live & learn". The other element, is I think I need get myself around some new mommies. That's one of the things I find helpful about the Bump. They post lots of details about what's happened with their LO's - and when it happens to mine later on, I've already had a head's up that it might be common and how to handle it.

mustanggirl412 · September 2013

I read baby books, took classes, did research galore. None of that could have prepared me especially for the first few weeks, holy crow! and I feel like people who have kids hold out on you and don't tell you what it is really like, lol. Maybe they just forget or something. All that aside now that the initial shock has worn off its so much better , and don't take anything I am saying the wrong way. I am absolutely in love with my boy. But, I have vowed not to sugar coat it when moms to be or people who want to get pregnant ask me about what its like.

NicoleNielsen59 · September 2013

Ok, I was an idiot when DS was born. I didnt realize that nipples came in various flows or that I really needed a swing. I was never around babies or children and did not have any friends with babies. I didnt take a baby course because for some reason all I thought I needed to know was how to feed and diaper and put down for sleep. Dont know why i thought that...just did. This time I've already spent close to 200 on baby books and have spent hours researching products.

VPGIRL06 · September 2013

I definitely can see forgetting. I told my husband that I've already forgot the awfulness of only getting 2-3 hour stretches of sleep, trying to pump, having a baby that had reflux, etc now that she's 6 months. I remember the cuddling on the couch, the long walks in the carrier, and watching the office late at night more than that! That being said, the things OP posted aren't EXACTLY common knowledge. If no one inf your life told you about The 5's, how could you know about swaddling and white noise? When I talked to my grandparents and parents, they all assumed you just swaddled for warmth-being in Southern California, that's not an issue. They didn't know you swaddled for comfort and snugness as well. I didn't know there were 3450849058 ways to soothe a baby, I assumed swing and car would be enough. Nope, my DD didn't like either and only slept in her crib, swaddled tight, or in the carrier the first 2 months of her life. Which in retrospect, makes sense, but I had no clue what would work at first. Poop colors-I didn't know poop would be GREEN when I fed her iron formula! and I too had no idea how much of my life would revolve around breastfeeding when you have a baby who won't latch on one corner of her mouth AND couldn't use her tongue to pull the milk into her mouth and when at the 2 week apt your doctor tells you your baby should have a few oz more than she is...well, I didn't know how much time i'd spend pumping, supplementing, etc.

Cristine · September 2013

You get the hang of it as you go along and it gets much easier!

jmo866 · September 2013

Maybe I read this wrong, but I was kind of taking OP as tongue and cheek.. I mean, before I read the other replies I liked her comment, and I am a STM. I was kind of thinking, no matter how prepared you think you are, you never get all the tricks and little weird things you have to do to survive until you're IN IT. I think some people are taking this a little seriously. And for those who feel they were 100% prepared by reading books, good luck to you.

smf0283 · September 2013

Geez people, I think OP was just venting a little, no need to take everything so seriously!

313Meg · September 2013

I did a ton of reading, 2 classes, more reading... Etc
I helped raise my sister and nephew but until they are solely 100% your responsibility it's a different story.
My biggest help was picking the brains of other recent moms asking questions and learning about the good, bad and the ugly.
Nothing could have completely prepared me but it did give me enough to have MOST of the tools necessary. And also to know to go into this adventure with little expectations and learn as I go.

kakhmama · September 2013

AlexisLA said:
About swings and white noise and swaddles and poop colors and exercise balls and lactation cookies and all the other stuff my life revolves around with LO? Before she was born I thought it was just hanging with the baby, sleeping, and eating but it's so much more complicated than that!

Don't feel bad OP or even I'll prepared. I felt the exact same way when I had my first LO. I had read several books, took a few courses, people brought meals over for a few weeks. I was still shocked at how much more there was to it than I had been dreaming about.

I had no idea that BF babies can sometimes want to nurse every hour for the first few days, or that people touching her hands would give me mastitis...I didn't know that we could easily dirty up two crib sheets, a dozen outfits, several blankets and burps in a matter of hours. Was also not prepared for my husband to be MIA because he just didn't know how to help. I had gumdrop visions of strolling through the market with my well dressed sweet quiet baby and never once imagined she could scream so loudly and so long at the sight of her carseat or when someone else tried to hold her.

The truth is, you can prepare as much as you like, but when your LO arrives its overwhelming at times and is a learn as you go process.

GL to you, in no time it will all feel like second nature.

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