I'm Sorry & Angry for All of Us — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I'm Sorry & Angry for All of Us

Snowbunny13Snowbunny13
Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
member
edited August 2013 in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Hi everyone. I'm obviously going through the stages of grief and loss, today I hit anger. This is a bad ugly stage and it produces jealousy of why "they" can have all normal pregnancy's and we have to deal with this. Why do we have to go through this? I am thankful for all the good things I have in my life, but I wouldn't wish a miscarriage on anyone. I know the odds and percentages and about 20% of pg's end in miscarriage, but I cannot accept reason, science, or facts today - today i'm just angry.....
Married: 9-25-09
BFP #1: 8-24-11 MMC: 8 weeks 6 days D&C
BFP #2: 12-9-11 Beautiful DD Born: 8-19-12
BFP #3: 8-22-13 Chemical Pregnancy: 4 weeks
BFP #4: 1-1-14 Praying Daily for H&H 9 Months
~Always Remembering our Angel Babies~

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Re: I'm Sorry & Angry for All of Us

  • I'm so sorry I have some really bad days where I'm really bitter about it. ((Hugs))
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  • I used to get intense jealousy when I saw women with bumps. especially as I live in an area where many mothers are now over 35 when they start their families and i'm considered young at 27. I was so angry that they were supposed to be the ones having the miscarriages and not a young, spring chicken like me. I know that's technically not true, but that's just how I felt.

    Then I realised that I didn't know their histories. Some of the women I hated may have had 10 or more miscarriages. They may have had IVF and spent 10 years trying to conceive. I just had to learn to be happy for them and appreciate the fact that my day would come.

    As it happens, my day appears to have come when our backs were turned and we were getting carried away without realising the date on vacation! oops!

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    09/23/11 - Married DH

    04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks

    05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d

    08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d

    09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!  

    10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!

    12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!

    05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!

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  • I know everyone is different when they hear about pg's, but I feel such happiness for pp who just got a BFP. I just am jealous of women who have had multiple babies and never have had a miscarriage, I just wish that could be all of us, I wish a pregnancy could bring just absolute overwhelming joy of our new baby coming instead of fear of a miscarriage or another miscarriage. Today is already getting better for me, usually i'm not angry/jealous but I need to go through this emotion and then move on to accept my own loss. Thanks again all. 
    Married: 9-25-09
    BFP #1: 8-24-11 MMC: 8 weeks 6 days D&C
    BFP #2: 12-9-11 Beautiful DD Born: 8-19-12
    BFP #3: 8-22-13 Chemical Pregnancy: 4 weeks
    BFP #4: 1-1-14 Praying Daily for H&H 9 Months
    ~Always Remembering our Angel Babies~

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  • All these feelings are normal and anger is a beast to deal with. The days that I get angry I get really angry. I think why did I even get pregnant if this was how it was going to end? Delivering my son in labor and delivery having to bury him and move on? I get mad that some women can take such crappy care of themselves and still have healthy babies I get mad at women who have several children with no losses and I have been pregnant four times with two losses.

    I try to be grateful I try to be positive and I am grateful for the two I have and know I am lucky to have them. I do. But no one should have to go through the pain we are all experiencing. It is wretched heartbreaking stuff. It will hurt always. I do believe I will be joined with my babies again one day. Bless you all.
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  • awc1986 said:

    I used to get intense jealousy when I saw women with bumps. especially as I live in an area where many mothers are now over 35 when they start their families and i'm considered young at 27. I was so angry that they were supposed to be the ones having the miscarriages and not a young, spring chicken like me. I know that's technically not true, but that's just how I felt.

    Then I realised that I didn't know their histories. Some of the women I hated may have had 10 or more miscarriages. They may have had IVF and spent 10 years trying to conceive. I just had to learn to be happy for them and appreciate the fact that my day would come.

    As it happens, my day appears to have come when our backs were turned and we were getting carried away without realising the date on vacation! oops!


    This is the first insensitive post I have seen on this board.  Go to 1st tri and do your announcing.  This is a place for those with heavy hearts trying to make sense of a loss.

    Married DH 9/30/2011 - TTC #1 since 11/2012 

    BFP 5/30/2013 EDD 2/8/2014 M/C blighted ovum 7/5/2013 8 weeks 3 days 

    BFP 11/16/2013  Beautiful, perfect heartbeat 12/9/2013 EDD 7/31/2014  Please be our rainbow baby!

     

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  • Alessia87Alessia87
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Photogenic
    member
    edited September 2013
    I dread going back to work and finding out people are pregnant the school I teach at always has at least 5 pregnancies per year... I wanted so bad to be one if those this year,
    Why couldn't it happen!!
  • I have a lot of anger right now as well. I was at the grocery store the other day and it seemed like everywhere I looked there was either a pregnant lady or a lady with a new baby. I just wanted to scream at the top of my lung that it isn't fair. I have tried telling myself that I don't know their story. Maybe they have experienced a miscarriage too and have finally had a successful pregnancy. But then I see the lady in the parking lot who has to boys in the middle of the road playing, another baby in a car seat in the grocery cart with the 90 degree sun beating down and she has her head stuck in the car not paying attention to any of them. How come she is allowed to have three children that she is not taking care of and I can't even have one?

  • cp323cp323
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    edited September 2013
    I agree, I'm feeling anger as well. It's out of control at some points and I'm so not use to not having control over my emotions. It's very difficult at work where many women are pregnant ( including a very close friend). I try to put on a happy face at work when I have to... It's so difficult. Like pp mentioned, I have the same thoughts of, " Why is she allowed to be pregnant ( and in some cases have twins!) and not me?." Wishing us all healing hearts. I'm very sorry to see all of us here, but thankful we have a place to share our emotions and not feel like we are going through these feelings alone. Please take care, ladies.

    Edited: clarity
    BFP: July 2013, EDD: 5/10/14, MMC at 7 weeks, D&C: 8/30/13
  • Neary2011Neary2011
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Photogenic
    member
    edited September 2013
    I agree! I am feeling very angry right now, and it is soooooooooooooo hard for me to control, I have a short temper, but majority of the time I try to hide it and put on a smiling face, but that doesn't work all the time.
     Married: June 9, 2011 
    TTC Baby #1: January 2012
    Baby #1: BFP: February 16, 2012, EDD: October 24, 2012, July 2, 2012, we found out we are expecting a GIRL :)!
    11-2-2012 @ 12:55am, 41 weeks and 1 day, Kendall Rose was born, weighting 7lb. and 12oz.
    TTC Baby #2: June 2013
    Baby #2: BFP: August 16, 2013, EDD: April 18, 2014, Gender Predictor said: Girl  "Christian April" MC: August 24, 2013 @ 5 weeks and 1 day
    TTC Baby #3: October 2013
    Baby #3: BFP: December 31, 2013   EDD: September 8, 2014, Gender Predictor said: Girl "Sweet Pea September" stopped growing January 12 @ 6 weeks  (Missed Miscarriage), D and C: January 28, 2014 @ 8 weeks 2 days
    Baby #4: BFP: June 13, 2014 EDD: February 25, 2015, October 10, 2014, we found out we are expecting a BOY :)!
    "Love Bears all things, hopes all things, and endures all things"
    2011, 2012, 2013, 2014

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