She did it again! Rant!

HKline922 · September 2013

I've expressed before that my stepmom refers to the child growing in me as 'our baby'. She did it twice and just now as I talked to my dad on the phone she yells in the background 'when do we get the pics of my baby?!' I said to my dad, wow I didn't know she was having a baby....

I'm am fucking fuming.

I said if she did it one more time I was going to say something and this was the one more time. I am going to email her and tell her how much it bothers me. I will do it nicely but I might have to add that the socks they bought OUR BABY are fucking hideous - I would never pick these out for our child. Selfish bitch!

JayNina · September 2013

Get over it! People are going to say "my" baby! It does not make them "their" baby!

karacakes98 · September 2013

Yikes. The name calling is going a bit too far. And who cares if you don't like the socks? It was a nice gesture. Put them in a drawer for awhile and then regift them or donate them. Problem solved, no name-calling necessary.

pattipants · September 2013

If you don't like her saying it, then tell her. How is she supposed to read your mind? And yes, send an email "nicely" (aka passive-aggressive), and include a rude comment about her gift to you (and how selfish it was). That sounds like an effective way to communicate like an adult.

springbaby03 · September 2013

I think they are cute...mostly the boy socks...I think you just dont like her in general. If it bothers you so much you should tell her.
Socks get lost and the dryer eats them.. I say the more the merrier.

KariB509 · September 2013

I honestly don't think her saying "our baby" and "my baby" is grounds to get this mad. She probably just thinks she's being cute. Tell your dad to tell her that you don't like it or tell her yourself. Problem solved.

amandapthompson · September 2013

HKline922 said:
I've expressed before that my stepmom refers to the child growing in me as 'our baby'. She did it twice and just now as I talked to my dad on the phone she yells in the background 'when do we get the pics of my baby?!' I said to my dad, wow I didn't know she was having a baby....

I'm am fucking fuming.

I said if she did it one more time I was going to say something and this was the one more time. I am going to email her and tell her how much it bothers me. I will do it nicely but I might have to add that the socks they bought OUR BABY are fucking hideous - I would never pick these out for our child. Selfish bitch!

..... Just in case this gets deleted

legallyginger · September 2013

I think the appropriate response to this is mild snark (i.e. oh I didn't know you were having a baby too) and not a full scale intervention.

And socks are socks. They're cute.

OakvilleMomof3+1 · September 2013

When a baby joins a family I do think of it as a collective addition. It's an addition for all family members. I think I'd be more upset if my parents ir inlaws didn't think of the baby as 'ours'. She sounds super excited so I'm betting there is a bit of history that we don't know going on here between you and stepmom. I'm sorry she has the ability to upset you so much and I hope for your sake, your dads sake and the baby's sake you guys work it out. If you come at her guns blazing I worry you may make the situation worse and may end up not feeling better at all. Good luck and let us know how you handle it and what happens.

liamandlettie · September 2013

Meh...my mom annoys the shit outta me too but that's family. I'd just tell her all the things she can pick up for "our" baby \:D/

lindsey1031 · September 2013

Yeah!! Selfish bitch!! How dare she get your baby presents and love it like family! You write that email and tell her where to shove those socks!

Seriously though. You can feel these feelings, but then you absolutely must laugh it off. Do NOT allow yourself to get this worked up over a person you cannot kick out of your family. *virtually strokes your hair* It will be okay. She does not live with you and you don't have to see/talk to her every day. Keep telling yourself this and then pull yourself together. *big strong hug*

Drhonor · September 2013

Seriously though. You can feel these feelings, but then you absolutely must laugh it off. Do NOT allow yourself to get this worked up over a person you cannot kick out of your family. *virtually strokes your hair* It will be okay. She does not live with you and you don't have to see/talk to her every day. Keep telling yourself this and then pull yourself together. *big strong hug*

{{{{{BIG STRONG HUGS!!!}}}}}

BrideNamedMeg · September 2013

OMG, she bought you a GIFT, what a bitch!

sopranoali · September 2013

Haha you responded to my initial post a while back of me fuming about my mom calling it "my baby". Well she did it again this past weekend and I was like, "you DO know that irritates the shit out of me right? It isn't your baby!" And she was like "well it's all our baby it's my baby too" and then I took some bumpies advices and said "ok then maybe you can push it out YOUR vagina." To which she replied she figuratively WOULD be since she pushed ME out her vagina. Then she said her vagina had done its time and it was time got someone else's vagina to get messed up.
It actually made me laugh.
Anyway she doesn't say that anymore. She says my grand baby.

Mellie212 · September 2013

The responses to this made my night. I agree that a baby joins a family whole and maybe she's feeling insecure in her "step" role? How does she fit? I'd think that maybe she's just (slightly awkwardly) trying to show affection.

Sorry but your post comes across a little like she's being sweet (and again, a bit awkwardly) and you are most certainly not. I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that the sock-buying-cow and you have a history that's a little more tumultuous than just socks.

Andreabills · September 2013

I agree with PPs, you must dislike her already. At this point I think that anything she does/says is going to irritate you. My DH's stepmom and I have a similar relationship. I've been irritated because she has shown ZERO interest in the baby, but I would probably be irritated if she was acting all lovey too...sometimes they just can't win when you hate them already.

sopranoali · September 2013

P.S. the socks are cute at least she is making the effort and bought something

chapel2012 · September 2013

Maybe you could take the socks and throw them back at her while screaming "you're not my mom and can't call the baby ours". It seems effective when my 6 year old step niece does it.

crystaljoanna · September 2013

If this is her first grandchild or step grandchild she is probably awkwardly finding her way to be a part of your new life. If you have siblings or step siblings who have kids you might find out how they have handled this.

The fantastic news is that your LO is surrounded by people who love and care about them months before birth! If you really hate the socks figure out a way to return them. If you can't, re gift them. Who knows, maybe they'll grow on you and you'll end up liking them.

Just don't stress. Find a light hearted way to laugh it off. It's a good problem that you have.

cdnmomma · September 2013

I've called my neice on my hubby's side 'my girl' since she was born. I thought it might bug my SIL so I asked her once and she responded with tears in her eyes that she loves that I love her daughter enough to call her and treat her as my own.

rachbaby1 · September 2013

My mom does the our baby, and I don't mind, but I love my mom. Sounds like you don't have much love for your stepmom! I've always found that when I get upset about things like this, the other person usually doesn't understand at all, and bringing it up makes things worse.

If you want your father, and his partner, to be part of your kid's life you have to accept their excitement. Anything you can do to patch up the relationship with her before she becomes step-grandma? Might be a good idea not to bring your child in on animosity.

Also, I do like the socks, but it's not like your future lo will keep them on for more than 5 seconds anyway.

Hrose7091 · September 2013

Eh. I think you're being kind of hard on her. Grandparents get overly excited and the socks aren't that bad. If you don't like them don't use them but they were a gift and its pretty terrible to be so shitty about a gift.

springbaby03 · September 2013

I was reminded of this...

Mellie212 · September 2013

springbaby03 said:
I was reminded of this...

If only I could gif from mobile! I wanted to post this one

mamamia866 · September 2013

I've called my niece "my baby" since she was born and I say it because I love her more than anything and would do anything for her. She is also my moms first Grandbaby so she also calls her "my baby". I understand, it could get irritating, but it's a term of endearment, she's not trying to annoy you.

Mrs.N.H. · September 2013

Socks either get eaten by black holes or move out into oblivion where you can never find them again...you'll be glad you have some extras even if you don't like them.

YankeePeach08 · September 2013

Cmmo14 said:

I think you already hate her and everything she does annoys you. My parents call the baby our baby and I find it adorable, if MIL would do it, it would piss me off because I don't like her. Now, if you've never told her it irritates you that she says our baby, why would she stop? also, like PP say, she's loving the baby before the baby is born, you are very lucky.

this. totally!!

My mom could do it, no problem...MIL did it, I'd cut a bitch.

JAck5209 · September 2013

I would mention that it bothers me but do it in a nice way. Then I would get over it and be thankful that my mother loved my unborn child enough to buy it gifts and love it like her own child. Lots of children don't have loving grandparents

huskymomma94 · September 2013

Omg....she is excited to be a grandmother and bought you a baby gift? HOW FUCKING DARE SHE.

htn1763 · September 2013

wow, how unfortunate for you that someone cares and is excited. how do you get through your day with surrounded by such vile people?!!

[Deleted User] · September 2013

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Mcsweets · September 2013

Aww my best friend has my ultrasound pictures printed and framed at her desk lol she always calls them her babies. I figure it takes a village to raise kids, right? It wouldn't bother me (and doesn't bother me).

Shobb414 · September 2013

Haha! The story made me laugh out loud, my step mom would never say "our baby" I will be lucky if she even acknowledges the baby because she is so selfish! But I would be fuming too!!!!!!! But I think the socks are cute.
If anyone refers to the baby that I am carrying around as "theirs" or "ours" other than my husband I will probably laugh in their face! My mil is already getting crazy possessive about it being her grandchild I just can't wait *eye rolls* lol.

glad we live 3 hours Away

ProudMommy030614 · September 2013

Not to pass judgement but I recently lost my dad and I would do anything to have him buy my baby some socks. Appreciate that you have someone that wants to be in the babies life one day they will be gone.

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