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TJ1979 · September 2013

How can I be so blindly, naively optimistic every freaking month (well, 6 weeks with my wonky cycles.) It took me 3 years to get E, and I have never successfully O'd on my own pre-pregnancy. And yet, every single time, I honestly, sincerely think, this is the cycle! This time it will work! Only to have AF sneak up on me at work. (Really though, does she have to sneak up while I'm at work every.freaking.time?) I want another LO so desperately badly right now, I am so ready to get pg again. But I'm so NOT READY to wean E. And I don't get any sympathizers on that, because she's over 1 so no one seems to understand why I'm not ready to just quit already. But I'm not. I'm just... not. So which is more painful, weaning before I'm ready, or waiting on TTC again when we are so ready?

Sorry to be such a whiny b, but I could really use some head pats right about now. Or, I don't know, a glass of wine. Or three. Can work be over yet?

mcgeeva · September 2013

Hang in there that is a tough one. Just means your not ready yet all together! I remember thinking the same exact thing. Exact after trying before going back to Shady Grove they confirmed once again - no Oing on my own so that thought has completely left my mind. I hear people all the time get knocked up after fertility treatments multiple times. But again - not every case. Stinky yes. Hang in there. Keep snuggling that bebe and wean when you are really ready. One will have to give eventually.

Robeano · September 2013

Hugs!!! Not an easy choice. Hang in there!!

MoFree · September 2013

I'm sorry hon. We also have approximately 0 chance of conceiving without IVF and still I sometimes I still fantasize getting KU spontaneously. IF is the gift that keeps in giving even after you have one child.

Enjoy your glass or glasses of wine later today.

Dragonfly1226 · September 2013

I know exactly how you feel. In the end I did wean DS at a year. (That was the deal DH and I made. He was ready to cycle again earlier. I wanted to BF for at least a year. He met me at my one year minimum.) Now a year and a half later with our two beautiful daughters sleeping in the next room, I know we made the right decision for our family. We were able to give DS the gift of two little sisters and he was able to benefit from EBF for his first year.

Only you know what is right for you and your family. I completely understand your desire to continue BFing and how conflicted you are. I wish I could tell you what to do, but I can only share what was right for us. (((((Hugs)))))

imoverit · September 2013

Boo AF. Im sorry. Hugs. If you wait to wean and just hold off a little more on TTC then maybe you will feel better. I hate that IF puts us in these binds. If we could get prego on our own there would be no need to wean. Really sucks. Hang in there mama.

ccam · September 2013

I'm sorry Why can't we just get pregnant like "normal"?? It sucks and it sucks that we have to make these kind of decisions because of IF. It seems like you really don't want to wean, so maybe you could set a date a few months from now?

I can't really give you an opinion because I've never been faced with a decision like this. But you have to do what is best for you and your family. Hang in there mama!!

JBDamonM · September 2013

I can understand the feelings on weaning. See my post below. I'm not ready either - but I just can't keep up with her demands Never in a million years did I think I'd feel this way - but I do. There's no denying it.

Something triggered me in this past weekend as well and I am totally wanting to be pregnant again. I don't think I am ready for number 2 - but I'm ready to feel inside kicks and have a teeny, tiny baby again..... It's actually been making me really emotional these past couple days.

Also - AF snuck up on me at 4:30 yesterday morning - so I feel ya on that too!

HUGS! And wine!

mdiblasi10 · September 2013

Oh hon, I am so sorry. Big hugs! IF sucks. I can completely understand that you aren't ready to wean, but desperately want another baby, all at the same time. It's just not fair that you have to choose between the two. Ugh, AF. That B. >:P

IBackBevo · September 2013

Sorry to hear you are bummed. One more thing that sucks about having to do ART. You can come over to my house and drink some wine and wine.

TJ1979 · September 2013

@ibackbevo what part of town are you in? I could use some whine/wine!

IBackBevo · September 2013

Spring.

IBackBevo · September 2013

Did you see the shooting on the news at Spring HS? My brothers went to that high school. I did not think it was a bad school but they are making it sound like it is a war zone.

TJ1979 · September 2013

Sad day, we're way down in P-land. Another day when LOs are both well and we don't have to fight traffic we should definitely meet up!

TJ1979 · September 2013

IBackBevo said:
Did you see the shooting on the news at Spring HS? My brothers went to that high school. I did not think it was a bad school but they are making it sound like it is a war zone.

Omg yes! My coworkers daughter goes there, so it was really scary thus morning until she could reach her. So tragic.

IBackBevo · September 2013

Yes! I would love that.

jmorta04 · September 2013

Just wanted to send you some very big hugs!

TJ1979 · September 2013

Thanks everyone for indulging me in my pity party. I also bought myself some coconut milk German chocolate ice cream, a bottle of red wine, and a necklace and plan to make myself feel all better as soon as E goes to bed.
I'll hate myself for it tomorrow, but for today I give myself permission.

kmc84 · September 2013

Big hugs TJ. I'm so sorry that AF showed up

I'm in mobile, so forgive me if I miss something obvious....is there way you could try an unmediated IUI? Just thinking out loud....

jessica_gail2 · September 2013

Big hugs! You are a Wonder Woman for BFing so long and I certainly don't blame you for not wanting to wean yet. And I'm sorry AF had to show her stupid face. Prayers for peace of mind for you!

kaf7 · September 2013

Awwwww TJ. Huge Hugs. I know what you mean about still being hopeful about AF not arriving. Weaning was really hard emotionally. In retrospect though I think the anticipation of it was about as bad or worse than the actual process. Only piece of advice my RE gave me was that breastfeeding is precious and a significant bond and only you and your baby can decide when it's right to stop and to put that ahead of scheduling to TTC #2. I didn't take his advice because of other factors in our life but that's what he said. Hugs again.

mnj05 · September 2013

I'm sorry, that's a tough decision. Big hugs!

TJ1979 · September 2013

kmc84 said:
Big hugs TJ. I'm so sorry that AF showed up I'm in mobile, so forgive me if I miss something obvious....is there way you could try an unmediated IUI? Just thinking out loud....

I don't think I'm actually ovulating. Or if I am, I don't think it's an efficient ovulation. I've never O'd unmedicated before, and I'm having weird 6 week cycles and I really just don't think it's possible for me to get KU without help ovulating. You do have me curious enough though to ask my RE if we can try one cycle, do monitoring etc and see what's going on and if it's worth an unmedicated IUI. Thanks for the thought!

Ruthie04 · September 2013

I'm so sorry. I weaned for medical/supply reasons and I STILL wish I could have continued BFing. I miss that closeness with my babies. It's hard to give it up.

You are definitely not alone in feeing blue. This weekend, I started my period ONE WHOLE WEEK (insert expletive) early on the same day my sister had a baby (from a totally unplanned pregnancy that happened during her husband's unemployment). DH and I aren't even ttc and I'm not even sure we had sex in the week and a half between my periods, but I was still a little down. Plus, I think I'm having anovulatory cycles since they are so close together, which has never been an issue for me. Ever since I weaned, AF has been coming every 21-24 days.

I just don't get why we constantly have to be reminded that we had trouble TTC #1. I just feel like we all put in our time and that we should get some kind of "free pass" with subsequent pregnancies. Big hugs and some virtual wine your way!

Cwhitaker27 · September 2013

Sorry TJ! That's a super tough decision. The bright side is I bet you are ovulating since AF is here. You're probably just missing it since your cycles are a little longer. Keep thinking positively! And I'm sure E is very happy she still gets to nurse.

kmc84 · September 2013

TJ1979 said:

kmc84 said:
Big hugs TJ. I'm so sorry that AF showed up I'm in mobile, so forgive me if I miss something obvious....is there way you could try an unmediated IUI? Just thinking out loud....
I don't think I'm actually ovulating. Or if I am, I don't think it's an efficient ovulation. I've never O'd unmedicated before, and I'm having weird 6 week cycles and I really just don't think it's possible for me to get KU without help ovulating. You do have me curious enough though to ask my RE if we can try one cycle, do monitoring etc and see what's going on and if it's worth an unmedicated IUI. Thanks for the thought!

It's worth a try! Let me know what your RE thinks! Wouldn't it be freakin' sweet if it worked

Mrs.AmyDylan · September 2013

Hugs! J and I are planning to bf until she goes to college. She may never get a sibling. JK, but it feels like we will be way past one year.

fabulouspinkmady · September 2013

I'm so sorry *HUGS* It sucks having to make those choices. Dang IF and AF!

Also, @IBackBevo - I live in Spring too

Really sad about the Spring HS incident. MH knows one of the teachers there who was apparently the last person to talk to the student who was killed. If this school violence doesn't stop, DH is going to be home schooling the boys!

IBackBevo · September 2013

@fabulouspinkmady - Cool. We need to have a Houston SAIF/IF get-together. There are a lot of us on TB.

CallMeAl · September 2013

TJ I'm sorry I'm replying so late. I'm sorry about the BFN, lady. I get it. I really do. We are SEVERE mfi, and I had hope every single cycle, too. Hope can be so cruel. Hope you drank more than one glass of wine!

TJ1979 · September 2013

Oh @CallMeAl Hope is such a tease. And I most certainly did drink more than one glass. Oops! But I feel fine today and that's all that matters. Thanks hon.

TJ1979 · September 2013

IBackBevo said:

@fabulouspinkmady - Cool. We need to have a Houston SAIF/IF get-together. There are a lot of us on TB.

@ibackbevo and @fabulouspinkmady Yes yes yes!

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