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I officially can not stand my exh

bebe11bebe11 member
in Blended Families

My DD's father and I have historically split the cost of back to school items, including books, clothes, supplies...etc.  This year we planned to do the same.  He send me a check for half, then my DD tells me that he wants her to bring over a week worth of clothes.  So I told him that I didn't buy enough new clothes for her to take a week worth to his house and then have enough left at our house (she is at his house 1 school day a week).  I then suggested that he write a new check and take out the cost of the clothes and then he could take her shopping to buy stuff to keep at his house.  Well, it turned into a shit storm, to say the least. 

After sending me countless emails, with nothing but rude statements he said that he would take her shopping, but under no circumstances is she allowed to bring items of clothing that I have bought to his house, nor is she allowed to bring things he buys to my house.  Then he goes on saying that the child support I receive is supposed to cover all of these extra expenses and starts sending me links to different websites where it states how child support is supposed to be spent. After he started with name calling and insults, that is when I did say he was a narsacissistic asshole and had to just delete anything further he sent and not read it. 

 

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Re: I officially can not stand my exh

  • twister22twister22 member
    I'm sorry he's such a jerk. In the future though, I wouldn't delete any emails. Ignore them? Yes. Delete them? No. You could be deleting incriminating things that you could potentially need in the future.
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  • CurlieWhirlieCurlieWhirlie member
    Ugh, that's so frustrating and childish. It really sounds like this started as a miscommunication, pure and simple. He had different expectations than you did. You probably could have talked through it and been clear about each of your needs, but he regressed to high school name-calling and an internet "shouting" match the moment he didn't get his way. Nice.
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  • +just+j++just+j+ member

    I hate it when they say that CS should cover these costs. When we all know damn well it doesn't even nearly cover the expense. 

    I'm sorry he was such a jerk.

    When XH gets like that, I remind him of the expenses he does not pay for and how lucky he is to only pay $255 a month.  It shuts him up pretty quick.  I don't recommend you do that at this point, but it might put him back into reality pretty quick the next time he does this,  before it escalates.

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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  • bebe11bebe11 member
    What he fails to realize is that this only hurts our DD.  She is turning 12 in a couple of months, so she is pretty aware of what goes on.  I mean he is hell bent that my DD doesn't take clothes back and forth, so really is she going to come home in her panties.  he is such a jerk that he would probably do such a thing.

     

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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    I second what @twister22 said.  Never delete emails/texts.  Ever.

    Seriously, he's a tool.  I really hate that argument about what CS should or shouldn't cover.  I also hate the clothes battle.  DH pays BM CS, and we maintain a full wardrobe for K at our house.  We buy back to school supplies for K to use when she's at our house and I take some to the school so the teacher has extra in the classroom.  We have never told K that she cannot wear something we have purchased to Gma's, and it's sad that BM does it to her.  The clothes belong to the child not the parents.  Let kids wear what they want, when they want.  Making them segregate their clothing only further frustrates the situation and basically alienates the other household.  I really hope your ex is just blowing smoke and doesn't pull that with your DD.  At the age of 12, she's really going to hate him for that (more so than she already does).
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  • KTdiditKTdidit member
    Ugh I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Seems like you could've worked something out if he had just calmed down and stopped acting like a 13year oldI agree with everyone else, don't delete anything. Sounds horrible but you never know what you will need to prove in the future. I hate when people pull the argument about what CS is "supposed to be spent on", just ignore it in the future.
    BabyFetus Ticker


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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    Or, next time he sends you links about what CS is supposed to pay for, send him links of bedroom sets for sale and links illustrating what a real father does with/for his children.


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  • SigirSigir member
    Wow do we share the same exh? Sounds just like mine! I can relate to how annoying it is.
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  • SueBearSueBear member

    Who has an extra WEEKS worth of clothes around the house?  That is a totally unrealistic expectation.  Even if he pays CS, I'm sure he doesn't pay so much that you have enough money for all the clothes DD needs, plus seven extra outfits! 

    Sorry he is such a turd.  Maybe in the future send over older clothes? 

    Personally, at back-to-school time I don't load up on new clothes.  I wait until the weather turns, because during Sept. they are mostly wearing shorts anyway.  They both get 1-2 "back to school" outfits and then I wait until Oct. to do the serious shopping.

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  • MrsHetzelMrsHetzel member
    I don't know what website he was sending you but pretty much across the board, it's reiterated that child support can be spent on anything and everything. It's sole purpose is to supplement the custodial parents income because at least the theory is that the CP is spending the child support amount times 2 on the child in some way shape or form.

    And justj, your ex pays $255 a month???? My DH pays significantly more than that a WEEK. What exactly does 255 a month even cover??
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