Working Moms

Daycare adjustment

(Sorry this is a bit long)
So, I'm currently a SAHM mom who is planning to o back to work soon so we are starting DS in daycare. It's hard to find room in good ones mid-year by me so he's signed up effective Sept. and I will be looking for work as soon as he's adjusted. We've had lots of issues with separation in the past and the few separation programs I attempted to put him in (the short two hours 1-2x per week kind), he was so upset, they told me he was no ready. He's been good the last few months about "school" and playing with friends at school. He carries his backpack & lunchbox around pretending he's going to school. He loves his Maisy Goes to Preschool book. I was really hopeful.

But this morning - we were supposed to go for a one hour intro day, I was going to stay with him. I was excited & told him where we were going and he flipped out. Started crying hysterically and then threw up. I cleaned him up and got him re-dressed and we left and he started crying again and threw up in our parking area right before we got in the car. By the time we came back home, changed him again (physically resisting tooth and nail), and got there most of the hour was gone and he was semi--asleep when we got to DC.

I don't know what to do. I'm seriously dreading Monday when we go back. Any suggestions?
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Re: Daycare adjustment

  • Ugh, I'm so sorry. All I can think is persevere. You're doing the right thing by easing the transition. Can his first visit be to just tour and meet the teachers? Then stay an hour with you the next day, and work up from there?
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  • I would just keep trying and reassure him that you will be with him the whole time.  Maybe offer a reward for not crying for your next visit.
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  • Let him bring a picture of his family or a special belonging of yours. Ask him to hold onto the belonging and take special care of it all day-a helper. I always drop off with a piece of fruit as a snack as a distraction. It may take a couple of weeks before he adjusts. It will get easier.
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  • I do not agree with the half days helping or staying for part of the time. I run a daycare and when kids are just dropped off and the parents leave quickly it is the easiest on everyone. It may take a week or two to adjust but usually within a day or two the kids only cry at drop off and have a great time the rest of the day. And if you are concerned you can always call and see how LO is doing.


    I have a Daughter born 2/26/2013. She is pretty much amazing!


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  • Thanks ladies. I'll try some of the tips.

    The place requires 2 half days with the parent for children who are going there for the first time. I guess it's meant to be a bit of a tour/intro concept. So Monday & Tuesday, we'll be there together for 3-4 hours a piece. After that, it's full day for him.

    Part of the problem may be that DH is home from work this week (we're getting some work done at home) so DS had some extra attraction not to go. That'll be done by Monday so hope that helps.

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  • My DS just started a new daycare after being home with me all summer.  He went 2 1/2 days last week, he's gone 2 this week, and I'm going to send him tomorrow to keep him getting used to it.  He started by crying all day, but the owner's husband has been really patient with him and it's gotten alot better.  I was planning to only send him 2 days the 1st 2 weeks, but I'm sending him the extra one to help him get used to it more.  When I 1st read your post I assumed your son was around my son's age, 15 months, but he's more like my daughter who was 3 in March.  I'm assuming you're able to talk to your son about what's going on.  My daughter told me all summer how she didn't want to go to school.  Finally she told me it was because the teachers yelled at her.  I'm not sure if that's true or not, but I explained how she was going to a new school with nice teachers.  She started to get a little clingy at swim class a few times.  Knowing she was going to have to go to daycare soon I just tell her I don't have time for this you need to go to your class and walk away.  At 3 years old I just don't have too much patience for stuff like that because I think they do it more to manipulate you then because they don't want to be with kids and toys all day.  Have you talked to your son about what's bothering him?  DD had also been asking to go to Chuck E Cheese.  After finding out that she pinched kids a few times her 1st day I told her if she didn't cry going to school and was a good girl all week she could go to Chuck E Cheese at the end of the week she had a great week.  Is there something you could promise your son for the end of the week or even after school.
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