Pet peeve: unsolicited opinions on baby name

mteredominjas · September 2013

I haven't finalized my baby girl's name. But on Sunday, at my surprise baby shower, my family had a million opinions on my top two choices. One said if I gave my daughter one of the names she'd grow up to be a "dyke". Another said that it was an ugly name and that kids would make fun of her for the rest of her life, and still another complained about what I was doing to my poor child.

I think both names I have chosen are beautiful strong Spanish names, they are both easy to pronounce in English but are a reflection of our culture.

I'm keeping the final selection under wraps from them until it is written on her registration papers. But until then, I need to figure out a way to control my urge to punch them in the face.

*Mrs*Rohrbaugh* · September 2013

MrsP821 said:

This is why we chose to keep our name a surprise until LO is born.

This. We have too many opinionated people in our families and don't want to hear it. Just remember that it's YOUR child and whatever name you pick will be perfect for your LO.

ScarlettV · September 2013

We are keeping ours a secret as well, for the same reason. People are going crazy wanting to know and giving us soooo much crap. I think we can't win either way, hah. I'm sure your names are great; just do what you want

kittyh8r · September 2013

Yeah....don't tell people your name choices. BTW, the things they have said are terrible. I would be pissed if anyone said something like that about our name choices and I would rip them to shreds. We aren't sharing our names with anyone, so no one has an opinion. Once they meet LO, they won't be able to hate on a name associated with the adorably squishy, chubby cheeked baby that they're holding.

kimbellseabrook · September 2013

I'm getting similar responses too. This past weekend my husband's grandmother told me point blank she didn't like out little girl's name & certainly didnt like the combination of her first & middle name. So, rather than calling her Charlotte she referred to my belly as Joy all weekend. I repeatedly insisted that if she is going to talk to my belly or about the baby she is to call her Charlotte. Nope, she never stopped. Needless to say I was glad when that visit was over.

TXmamatobe · September 2013

Wow! Some people are clearly insane. I would slap someone for those types of responses - I commend you for good behavior!

kittyh8r · September 2013

kimbellseabrook said:

I'm getting similar responses too. This past weekend my husband's grandmother told me point blank she didn't like out little girl's name & certainly didnt like the combination of her first & middle name. So, rather than calling her Charlotte she referred to my belly as Joy all weekend. I repeatedly insisted that if she is going to talk to my belly or about the baby she is to call her Charlotte. Nope, she never stopped. Needless to say I was glad when that visit was over.

This pisses me off. What...is she going to also call her Joy after the baby gets here? I would tell her that she doesn't get to see the baby unless she calls her by her actual name....Then slap her. Maybe not, but I would really want to.

Lyzza350 · September 2013

That's terrible! Ugh hate that! Could you share the names here? I'm curious what evoked such a strong reaction.

esf60 · September 2013

Don't share your names. Problem solved.

FutureMrsCaesar · September 2013

Yeah, you know what they say about opinions being like assholes, right? We don't share names before the baby is born for that reason as well as we like the idea of there being some element of surprise since we already know the sex. Of course we get grief for keeping it a secret and people are always throwing their ideas out there but we just smile and nod

I agree that your family crossed the line with the dyke comment, I'd be particularly pissed about that, but I can guarantee they will think your baby is cute regardless of its name.

northport6 · September 2013

I like to think anybody in my life would know better than to think suggesting my daughter growing up to be a "dyke" would be something offensive to me, but if they didn't, I'd happily suggest they find their gift on the table and GTFO.

Sorry you had to deal with that, but definitely don't share names in the future.

onewayticket · September 2013

Don't share them ExCEPT with your fellow bumpies

we want to know!

lilypienmessimy · September 2013

Ya you cannot share names, people are rude and everyone has an opinion. Butttt...you can share them here, we are all dying to know now!

mZito · September 2013

That sucks. I don't understand why some people think they need to give you their opinion on a name for YOUR child.
This is kind of why we decided not to announce the name until our LO is born. Lots of people have asked & we've been honest.

HerbanMom · September 2013

Exactly why I'm selective about who I tell and everyone else can wait because I don't care to hear what they think.

mteredominjas · September 2013

Thanks ladies! Not sure what these women were thinking...

Hubby and I are stuck on Isabel or Fernanda. Fernanda has received the worst comments including the dyke comment. But Fernanda is a strong beautiful mexican name.

We have our doubts about the name because a first cousin of mine (who I only see once every 3 years) has a daughter named Fernanda. I don't want any other family drama for taking a name that has been used on one of four other great grandchildren.

mh89 · September 2013

Both of your names are lovely and reflect your heritage. People are rude. Just don't share the name again until the baby is born I guess. That's what I'm having to do since I've gotten rude comments for our name choice as well from the few people we told.

northport6 · September 2013

GWeiners said:
People don't give me their opinions on my names. Must be my bitchy resting face.

@GWeiners Because of my BRF, people don't even ask, haha!

esf60 · September 2013

kf19 said:

My brother in law said that if I named son the name I liked, he would be gay. A few other family members said the name was gay. I really liked the name and still do but hubby says no way So we have a different name picked out but I'm not 100% sold on it. It sucks!

So now there are inherently gay names, and names that can make someone gay? Your family is not my favorite. Now I'm pissed and it's only 7:48 am.

notthecheat · September 2013

This is why it's a secret until the birth certificate is signed. Haters gonna hate but it was hard enough for DH and I to agree on a name, so now that we've got one, that's what it's gonna be. You don't like it, don't name your own kid that. Sorry, but my kid's name is not your choice.

onewayticket · September 2013

I love both names. I think Isabel is prettier but Fernanda is more original/unique.

After opinions from my mother and MIL ruined a few name choices for me, DH and I implemented a no mom policy. The moms are off limits. Too many opinions and no desire to hold back.

SoMoNY · September 2013

I liked Caleb for DS1 but everyone and their mother felt the need to tell me we aren't Jewish and that the name sucked. Worse folks to talk names with are teacher friends, they hate every name.

With this DS we aren't sharing names and if pressed we throw out ones not in the running to throw them off.

Lesson learned

nicholssquared · September 2013

I don't tell people since I got such negative feedback about LO1's (girl) name, which we didn't use because he was a boy.

People seem to assume that if you share your chosen names, you're asking for opinions, which is just NOT true. If you wanted an opinion, you's say, "hey, what do you think of...?" and not, "we're going to name our child (x)". Frankly, anyone who responds negatively to the latter presentation, regardless of the name, is a tactless twatwaffle, like my MIL.

Everyone's got an opinion, haters gonna hate, etc. Just ignore from now on (or don't share in future - you'll get negative opinions about that too, but you can at least smile knowingly as you tell them to fuck off, that should give some satisfaction).

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