Community› The Bump Month Clubs› August 2011 Moms
August 2011 Moms
New Discussion

Ugh, grandparents

homedivahomediva member
in August 2011 Moms
So my two year old LOVES my inlaws. I'm happy he has such a nice relationship with them and that they are so caring (they are obsessed with him). However they are visiting right now and I just need to vent.

He wants NOTHING to do with me when they are around. The words "chopped liver" come to mind. He insists that they do bedtime. Sometimes if I come into the playroom or wherever they are he actually pushes me away. It just breaks my heart. I stay home with him so I know that he is just used to me, but it still hurts so much, even though I know I shouldn't let my irrational 2 year old hurt my feelings. Are your kids weird with grandparents? He also just seems to act differently around them. He's not like this with my parents. My inlaws are very loud, loving, in-your-face who literally walk this earth only to spend time with him and he just loves it. Ugh.

My general coping mechanism is just to clear out. I go shopping so I'm not here for nap time, let them to bedtime etc., because if I do it, it will just be tantrum central. Last night even my dogs whined to sleep in their room because they let them up on the bed. I just feel like such a crappy mother when they are around. Sad face times 100000. Plus tomorrow is his birthday and I have to deal with this crap all day. Ugh.

thanks for listening!  are any of your kids like this with their grandparents?
BabyFruit Ticker   AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
image
Report Reply to Post

Re: Ugh, grandparents

  • Monsieur_et_Madame_HaMonsieur_et_Madame_Ha member
    Aw I'm sorry Mama. Big hugs to you. And please, get that silly idea about not being a good mother out of your head. 
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickersimage
    imageAlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    Farewell, nesticle, you will be missed
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • homedivahomediva member
    Thanks guys, it feels better knowing that it is a toddler thing and not something I'm doing!
    BabyFruit Ticker   AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    image
    Report Reply
  • fancefppfancefpp member
    Yeah, he calls my mom "mama" so, yeah, I get it. She's like a celebrity around here and she loves it
    image image
    Report Reply
  • MrsCase1MrsCase1 member
    My son thinks his grandparents hung the moon. I never had grandparents growing up so I love it and get excited because it means I get a break, lol!!!!
    imageimage
    Report Reply
  • melissa0726melissa0726 member
    Awww, that stinks.  I can absolutely see how that would be upsetting for you, I don't blame you for how you feel!

    Our situation is similar in that my ILs sound a lot like yours - the sun rises and sets on DD for them, and when they're with her, it's 100% attention on her.  But DD was somewhat standoffish with them for a long time.  I think their intensity was just too much for her to take.

    Anyway, try not to feel too bad about it, and just know that he loves you and that things will be back to normal when their visit is over. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    Report Reply
  • Monsieur_et_Madame_HaMonsieur_et_Madame_Ha member
    Mrs Case said:
    My son thinks his grandparents hung the moon. I never had grandparents growing up so I love it and get excited because it means I get a break, lol!!!!
    This is me, too, but we don't see my parents that often.
    Also, ALL the grandkids are nuts for Grandma. Remember how we went on a fishing trip with my family last month? My poor mother had to actually go fishing to escape from the kids (she isn't into fishing at all - she goes along because it makes my dad happy). And even then, the kids would wave and holler at her from the dock. lol All this to show that it's not something you're doing wrong - it's just the magic power grandmas have.
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickersimage
    imageAlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    Farewell, nesticle, you will be missed
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • homedivahomediva member
    Thanks guys, I appreciate all your responses! I guess grandparents are extra special...espcially because they never utter the words "no," "time out," "don't do that," or "that's enough!" LOL! When we are alone with Max he goes straight to sleep with a cute little "night night" - they are doing bedtime and have been in there rubbing his back for almost an hour. I just looked in the monitor and FIL is holding my 30 lb son who is perfectly capable of going to sleep all by himself and ROCKING HIM LIKE A 2 MONTH OLD. Grrrr.
    BabyFruit Ticker   AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    image
    Report Reply
  • Rachey1082Rachey1082 member
    Oh yeah, typical grandparent stuff right there. They cry if they can't go home with grandma and grandpa. It's totally ridiculous. That and even if I'm around my mom thinks she makes the rules. She and MIL are always offering food/toys/things to the boys and then afterwards they ask if its okay. Because, like I'd say no after they already offered it. Ugh.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • daisy91606daisy91606 member

    I totally understand where you're coming from. DD spends the occasional night at my parents house and I hate how she seems to love them more than me. It totally breaks my heart to think she likes them more. I know she seems to prefer my parents because they are total pushovers and she gets everything she wants.

     I think the thing that bugs me the most is that they seem to encourage DD to call my mother "mommy". They KNOW I hate that shit but they still do it. DD calls her "gramma" when I drop her off but when I pick her up she is calling my mother "mommy". My dad says my mother is doing it because she feels bad about the terrible relationship we had when I was growing up. We still have kind of a shit relationship but she loves DD and I trust her to take care of her.

     I should note that when my mother went to Korea to visit family I worked with DD on who is mommy and who is gramma. She was gone for two months and when she got back DD didn't call her mommy for 6 months. Now she's doing it again. So yeah I really don't believe them when they say they don't encourage it.

     I'm just glad what when DS arrives I will be home for 12 weeks and she will NOT be staying the night with them after I get home from the hospital. Maybe I can try to stop this nonsense again.

    ~X(
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers  AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    Report Reply
  • NotSharknadoNotSharknado member
    homediva said:

    Thanks guys, I appreciate all your responses! I guess grandparents are extra special...espcially because they never utter the words "no," "time out," "don't do that," or "that's enough!" LOL! When we are alone with Max he goes straight to sleep with a cute little "night night" - they are doing bedtime and have been in there rubbing his back for almost an hour. I just looked in the monitor and FIL is holding my 30 lb son who is perfectly capable of going to sleep all by himself and ROCKING HIM LIKE A 2 MONTH OLD. Grrrr.


    See, I think this is sweet. I love watching my grandparents fawn all over the kids. It's a special kind of love.
    Report Reply
  • homedivahomediva member
    Omg @daisy91606, that would drive me mad! They are obviously encouraging the behavior, and that's so messed up! Grrrr!

    @shenado I think it's sweet when they play together, but my inlaws have a "special kind of love" that involves totally disregarding our rules, competing with us for attention, acting like they are the parents, and more. It's a special kind of love alright. Plus it will take about two weeks to get his sleep back on track!
    BabyFruit Ticker   AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"