August 2011 Moms
homediva
member
Ugh, grandparents
homediva
member
So my two year old LOVES my inlaws. I'm happy he has such a nice relationship with them and that they are so caring (they are obsessed with him). However they are visiting right now and I just need to vent.
He wants NOTHING to do with me when they are around. The words "chopped liver" come to mind. He insists that they do bedtime. Sometimes if I come into the playroom or wherever they are he actually pushes me away. It just breaks my heart. I stay home with him so I know that he is just used to me, but it still hurts so much, even though I know I shouldn't let my irrational 2 year old hurt my feelings. Are your kids weird with grandparents? He also just seems to act differently around them. He's not like this with my parents. My inlaws are very loud, loving, in-your-face who literally walk this earth only to spend time with him and he just loves it. Ugh.
My general coping mechanism is just to clear out. I go shopping so I'm not here for nap time, let them to bedtime etc., because if I do it, it will just be tantrum central. Last night even my dogs whined to sleep in their room because they let them up on the bed. I just feel like such a crappy mother when they are around. Sad face times 100000. Plus tomorrow is his birthday and I have to deal with this crap all day. Ugh.
thanks for listening! are any of your kids like this with their grandparents?
He wants NOTHING to do with me when they are around. The words "chopped liver" come to mind. He insists that they do bedtime. Sometimes if I come into the playroom or wherever they are he actually pushes me away. It just breaks my heart. I stay home with him so I know that he is just used to me, but it still hurts so much, even though I know I shouldn't let my irrational 2 year old hurt my feelings. Are your kids weird with grandparents? He also just seems to act differently around them. He's not like this with my parents. My inlaws are very loud, loving, in-your-face who literally walk this earth only to spend time with him and he just loves it. Ugh.
My general coping mechanism is just to clear out. I go shopping so I'm not here for nap time, let them to bedtime etc., because if I do it, it will just be tantrum central. Last night even my dogs whined to sleep in their room because they let them up on the bed. I just feel like such a crappy mother when they are around. Sad face times 100000. Plus tomorrow is his birthday and I have to deal with this crap all day. Ugh.
thanks for listening! are any of your kids like this with their grandparents?
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Re: Ugh, grandparents
Our situation is similar in that my ILs sound a lot like yours - the sun rises and sets on DD for them, and when they're with her, it's 100% attention on her. But DD was somewhat standoffish with them for a long time. I think their intensity was just too much for her to take.
Anyway, try not to feel too bad about it, and just know that he loves you and that things will be back to normal when their visit is over.
I totally understand where you're coming from. DD spends the occasional night at my parents house and I hate how she seems to love them more than me. It totally breaks my heart to think she likes them more. I know she seems to prefer my parents because they are total pushovers and she gets everything she wants.
I think the thing that bugs me the most is that they seem to encourage DD to call my mother "mommy". They KNOW I hate that shit but they still do it. DD calls her "gramma" when I drop her off but when I pick her up she is calling my mother "mommy". My dad says my mother is doing it because she feels bad about the terrible relationship we had when I was growing up. We still have kind of a shit relationship but she loves DD and I trust her to take care of her.
I should note that when my mother went to Korea to visit family I worked with DD on who is mommy and who is gramma. She was gone for two months and when she got back DD didn't call her mommy for 6 months. Now she's doing it again. So yeah I really don't believe them when they say they don't encourage it.
I'm just glad what when DS arrives I will be home for 12 weeks and she will NOT be staying the night with them after I get home from the hospital. Maybe I can try to stop this nonsense again.
~X(See, I think this is sweet. I love watching my grandparents fawn all over the kids. It's a special kind of love.
@shenado I think it's sweet when they play together, but my inlaws have a "special kind of love" that involves totally disregarding our rules, competing with us for attention, acting like they are the parents, and more. It's a special kind of love alright. Plus it will take about two weeks to get his sleep back on track!