School updates and a pic.

karatechrissy · September 2013

SS had his open house last week. He was so excited for it. BM is the one who gave us the info on it, so we assumed she would be there. SS asked to call her an hour before it started, so we did. We were in the car so it goes through my blue tooth speakers. We don't speak though when he calls her like that we just sit quietly so we don't interrupt or make her feel like we're breathing down her neck. Anyway, he asked her if she was going, to which I was surprised to hear her say 'What time does it start?' and she sounded like she had been sleeping. I could be wrong, but she sounded really groggy. H whispered 6 to him so he could relay to her. She said she would see him there. She called 10 minutes before open house was starting and told him she wouldn't be there. He was pretty crushed. Her parents house is literally 3 minutes away. He just said 'that's why I called her I knew she was going to forget. I don't know why she can't come!'. We didn't ask questions, just said we were excited to meet his teacher.

Open house was 4 days into the new school year, and his teacher had A LOT to say about him already. BM got him a locking pencil holder (He's 7...). Teacher said he lost the key multiple times, and was playing with it all day and that she prefer we take it home and send him with something less distracting. I was mortified. She said he asks to go to the bathroom at least twice an hour. She asked if he had a medical condition!! My husband explained that he lives half the week with BM, then half the week with us, and that this was his first year in this school, and that he dislikes school but we're trying our best to get him more interested and involved in learning. His teacher said he was a very sweet boy, but showed not much motivation and is already a bit of a class clown. UGHH I was just dying. I had to walk away and had SS show me his music room, art room, and a couple of things he had made for open house. They had artwork on the wall from each student... SS's looked like my 3 year old scribbled on it. everyone else is at least in the lines by now, and... I hate to 'compare' him to others, but I just cried inside. He was excited to show me his things, and I was positive and excited for him and all he showed me while we were touring around.

DH said the teacher was really on board with keeping the lines of communication open, since we have SS the last half of the week and BM (in the past) has been less than reliable on sending info our way on what's going on. I'm just so upset for SS. I can't do another year of him screwing around in class. I can't believe we're the parent's with 'that kid' in class. I know this sounds super harsh and terrible. I just, I don't want other parents to think that we are awful parents because of the way he is acting in school. It's embarrassing. DH had a long chat with SS after and kept it positive but explained that this ends now. DH picked him up from school on Fri, and the teacher said he was a totally different child than he had been all week. She thanked DH and again reassured him that she would be in touch with any concerns or issues she had.

I hope that his attitude carried into this week. I really really hope. Today was his first day back b/c of Labor Day so I'm waiting for DH to let me know after he talks to SS. I got him a new pencil holder this weekend. Please send prayers and positive thoughts to SS. I just want him to succeed this year. I want him to do well and to not struggle. I didn't know it could be this hard. I was always great in school so this not just 'getting it' thing is so foreign to me and I'm struggling as a parent to know what to do. So, prayers to me too if you can that I can figure out what motivates SS and will get him excited for learning.

DD started pre-school today. She was SO excited to go. We got there though, and then she realized I wasn't going to be staying with her. She had tears well up in her little brown eyes and I started to cry too. As soon as she saw I was crying she stopped and grabbed my face and said 'mommy are you crying? don't cry please'. I went in the class with her and she sat to play with the play doh they had sitting out. I quietly stepped away when she was immersed in it. The teacher gave me a thumbs up and as soon as the door closed I heard DD scream 'MOMMY!!!!'. We sat outside and waited on a bench for about 5 minutes to see if they were going to send her home. I guess a teacher distracted her because I heard nothing after that. No one came out, didn't get a phone call, nothing. I picked her up this afternoon and she was so happy to tell me all her adventures. She said she was excited to go back. What a relief! I was so worried she wasn't going to like it and be upset without me. I was worse off without her than she was without me.

I'm sure other parents go through the 'one kid likes school and the other hates it' thing. If anyone has any words of encouragement they are welcome. I'll be deleting the pic probably tomorrow. Just FYI

xmaryrickx · September 2013

Awwww. How did she get so big?!?!?
Glad she did well today.

Sounds like you are doing your best with SS, and I promise the teacher Doesn't think you are sucky parents. Just the opposite if I had to guess. You care, and she knows that. Best of luck to him, I hope he has a kick ass year!

Littlejen22 · September 2013

I am so sad for SS because my 6.5yo loves school, try should not hate it already! I hope he can get it together. And since teachers don't usually talk to parents on Back to School night about specific kids it makes me even sadder. Good luck.

Sigir · September 2013

V cute pic. I think you are being a little too hard on yourself and your ss though. Being mortified and ashamed is an over-reaction. So he got a fancy pencil case that distracted him- so what? You corrected it, it happens. So he is struggling. You will work on it, it's not the first time a teacher has seen this. Don't take it so personally. Like pper said, I am certain the teacher sees that you are being involved. Just relax a little, IMO you are holding yourself too accountable. You will work w him and it will get better, don't worry.

KTdidit · September 2013

Your daughter is adorable! I wouldn't worry too much about SS yet. It seems that the small talk your DH had with him had an effect. It seems that if your DH keeps up with it he will likely be the bio parent with the most involvement in SS's schooling and that will have a great effect on your SS.School just started, there's plenty of time for him to "catch up" and make huge progress!

twister22 · September 2013

T&Ps your way for SS. How old is he, again? And like the PPs have said, I'm sure the teacher realizes who the involved parents are, and it sounds like she'll be working with you guys to make sure SS has a successful year.

And your DD is adorable!

karatechrissy · September 2013

Thanks everyone for your input. We have tried the games on the computer. He is now to where he only wants to play the 'baby' games (ones he used to play, but is now needing to move on. They are now appropriate for DD but not him). He doesn't spend more than 5 mintutes on the ones we have for him. When DD is doing hers, he kind of takes over. They are the 'coloring' ones or the counting '1, 2, 3' things. He's past that. He gets upset when anything is a challenge. He fought learning to tie his shoes for the past YEAR. We literally just this past week gave him an ultimatum, if he didn't practice and learn, we were going to take him to salvation army and he had to bring his new school shoes and give them away because he couldn't tie them! That was the motivator and he actually stuck to learning it. But boy it has been a year long battle! BM still buys velcro and says she doesn't have the patience to sit with him and he refuses to learn, so she just gets velcro. You can't get through life without being able to tie your shoes!!

I suggested ADHD in kinder... DH dismissed it. I think he is in denial personally... but I'm just the SM. I have brought it up only a few times the past 2 years. I don't think either parent is willing to admit he may have a different way of learning.

Thank you about DD. I'm going to delete her photo now. Hope you all don't mind.

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