Adoption/Fostering Check-In ~ September 3rd

aligross · September 2013

Cannot believe that it is September! It's time to check in again!

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world?

2) Who are you in the Triad?

3) Where in your process are you?

4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week?

5) Have any questions you would like to ask?

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most?

sgb721 · September 2013

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world? DIA

2) Who are you in the Triad? Waiting to become an Adoptive Mother

3) Where in your process are you? In profile actively waiting

4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week? My ugh would be the social worker insinuating I was being impatient by checking in once over the 6 months we've been waiting and telling us we should think of looking at a higher volume agency.

The yay would be the book cabinet we're putting in the nursery finally coming in for pick up.

5) Have any questions you would like to ask? How are you handling the balancing act. I'm a planner and its hard with adoption (as you all know) because you just don't know what the future holds.

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most? Once Upon a Time and Parenthood (although I don't think that comes back until spring- not sure)

spencerlynne · September 2013

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world?

Foster to Adopt in Arizona - under 1 year.

2) Who are you in the Triad?

Waiting to be an adoptive mother.

3) Where in your process are you?

Working on our application and getting ready to start classes/home study!

4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week?

We officially decided to switch agencies :-( The social worker/agency was being so unresponsive...literally, we waited three and a half weeks for an answer to a simple question. She still won't call us back. I know they are incredibly busy but it made us worried for the long run. If we were having such bad communication just starting out, what would be do if there was an emergency or a timely issue? We were so frustrated we put some feelers out and found a great agency that is responsive and caring! I'm excited about the switch but we had to do the preliminary stuff all over again. Yuck...now we're a month behind where we should have been.

5) Have any questions you would like to ask?

How did you break the news to people that you were adopting? We've only told a select few people but as we get further in the process we're wanting to let more people know and I'm unsure how to bring it up.

What happens if you move in the middle of the process? I know I should ask our social worker but I'm worried she'll put a red flag on our file (uncertain, unstable, possibly moving...I know I'm paranoid). There is a small possibility we will move to a different county (not too far at all) next year and I'm worried that we would have a foster-to-adopt child taken away from us or have to start the process over.

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most?

Too many :-P Nashville, Walking Dead, The Following and Glee!

aligross · September 2013

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world?

DIA

2) Who are you in the Triad?

Waiting to be an Adoptive Mom

3) Where in your process are you?

Waiting to start the home study... still!

4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week?

YAY that the weather is awesome again. Our windows are open and at night it is chilly.

UGH would be the fact that we are still waiting for the husband's background check to come back. There is nothing on his background check that would be flagged, it should be easy! He works with the Federal Reserve and has a background check every single year. Mine is back and it's free and clear, I just want his to be back so we can be assigned to a caseworker and get this home study process going!

5) Have any questions you would like to ask?

How long did it take for your background checks to come back?

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most?

There are so many shows that I am excited about. How I Met Your Mother, Parenthood, Mike & Molly, New Girl... just to name a few!

aligross · September 2013

spencerlynne said:

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world?
Foster to Adopt in Arizona - under 1 year.
2) Who are you in the Triad?
Waiting to be an adoptive mother.
3) Where in your process are you?
Working on our application and getting ready to start classes/home study!

4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week?
We officially decided to switch agencies :-( The social worker/agency was being so unresponsive...literally, we waited three and a half weeks for an answer to a simple question. She still won't call us back. I know they are incredibly busy but it made us worried for the long run. If we were having such bad communication just starting out, what would be do if there was an emergency or a timely issue? We were so frustrated we put some feelers out and found a great agency that is responsive and caring! I'm excited about the switch but we had to do the preliminary stuff all over again. Yuck...now we're a month behind where we should have been.
5) Have any questions you would like to ask?
How did you break the news to people that you were adopting? We've only told a select few people but as we get further in the process we're wanting to let more people know and I'm unsure how to bring it up.

What happens if you move in the middle of the process? I know I should ask our social worker but I'm worried she'll put a red flag on our file (uncertain, unstable, possibly moving...I know I'm paranoid). There is a small possibility we will move to a different county (not too far at all) next year and I'm worried that we would have a foster-to-adopt child taken away from us or have to start the process over.

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most?
Too many :-P Nashville, Walking Dead, The Following and Glee!

We Announced our adoption to our families by sending out an announcement that asked for everyone's prayers. For our future birth mom, our future child and us. I can send you a photo of what we did... just pm me. As far as everyone else... we sent out a photo via text messages (so everyone got it at the same time) and then posted it on Facebook. (We then saved all of the comments and will complete a photo book with all of our announcements and everyone's reactions once baby is here!)

The photo I attached is how we announced it via text messages and facebook!

Chele · September 2013

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world?

Foster to adopt. We may also foster or do respire while we wait for a match.

2) Who are you in the Triad?

The potential Mom

3) Where in your process are you?

Our home study is in the process, maybe we're a month away from it being submitted. Our PRIDE classes end this Saturday.

4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week?

Ugh, we're behind in our PRIDE homework and just realized yesterday we need to finish all the assignments by Saturday!

5) Have any questions you would like to ask?

I have a cold and can't think right now, lol.

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most?

Just heard something about a show with James Spader. Always liked him.

spencerlynne · September 2013

aligross said:

spencerlynne said:

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world?
Foster to Adopt in Arizona - under 1 year.
2) Who are you in the Triad?
Waiting to be an adoptive mother.
3) Where in your process are you?
Working on our application and getting ready to start classes/home study!

4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week?
We officially decided to switch agencies :-( The social worker/agency was being so unresponsive...literally, we waited three and a half weeks for an answer to a simple question. She still won't call us back. I know they are incredibly busy but it made us worried for the long run. If we were having such bad communication just starting out, what would be do if there was an emergency or a timely issue? We were so frustrated we put some feelers out and found a great agency that is responsive and caring! I'm excited about the switch but we had to do the preliminary stuff all over again. Yuck...now we're a month behind where we should have been.
5) Have any questions you would like to ask?
How did you break the news to people that you were adopting? We've only told a select few people but as we get further in the process we're wanting to let more people know and I'm unsure how to bring it up.

What happens if you move in the middle of the process? I know I should ask our social worker but I'm worried she'll put a red flag on our file (uncertain, unstable, possibly moving...I know I'm paranoid). There is a small possibility we will move to a different county (not too far at all) next year and I'm worried that we would have a foster-to-adopt child taken away from us or have to start the process over.

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most?
Too many :-P Nashville, Walking Dead, The Following and Glee!

We Announced our adoption to our families by sending out an announcement that asked for everyone's prayers. For our future birth mom, our future child and us. I can send you a photo of what we did... just pm me. As far as everyone else... we sent out a photo via text messages (so everyone got it at the same time) and then posted it on Facebook. (We then saved all of the comments and will complete a photo book with all of our announcements and everyone's reactions once baby is here!)
The photo I attached is how we announced it via text messages and facebook!

I LOVE it! I wanted to do something like a birth announcement but figured we shouldn't do that until the adoption is finalized...but it seemed weird not to tell anyone before that. I love the picture announcement idea! I will PM you for it :-)

Niki64 · September 2013

aligross said:

Cannot believe that it is September! It's time to check in again!

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world? DIA

2) Who are you in the Triad? Someday Adoptive Mom

3) Where in your process are you? Waiting!

4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week?
Yay - We purchased our car seat this weekend and a pack of bottles! We wanted to start collecting stuff we would need asap in case. Ugh - Not much! Today is the end of our 4 day weekend, enjoyed time with my DH, friends and family!
5) Have any questions you would like to ask? None that I can think of now, I have learned a lot from lurking!

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most? It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, New Girl and Scandal!

Have a great week everyone!

ellekae · September 2013

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world?
IA China

2) Who are you in the Triad?

Prospective adoptive mom

3) Where in your process are you?

Home study & dossier prep, fundraising

4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week?

YAY – Sold our DD's stroller on Craigslist and a bunch of clothes left over from our Mom to Mom Sale Fundraiser -- $410 for the adoption fund!

YAY – Finally got a doctor's appointment to stick. Geez. I just needed an appointment with DH's doctor to get his medical evaluation form signed in front of a notary (China requirement), and it got cancelled twice! Oye. At least it's done now!

UGH – Looking at the list of documents that we need to get together for our dossier makes me a little bit overwhelmed.

5) Have any questions you would like to ask?

Nothing comes to mind at the moment.

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most?
New Girl

ellekae · September 2013

spencerlynne said:
What happens if you move in the middle of the process? I know I should ask our social worker but I'm worried she'll put a red flag on our file (uncertain, unstable, possibly moving...I know I'm paranoid). There is a small possibility we will move to a different county (not too far at all) next year and I'm worried that we would have a foster-to-adopt child taken away from us or have to start the process over.

That's a tough one. It is possible that if you have to move that your agency/org may be wary of sending a placement your way. The whole point of foster care is to give the kiddos a safe and stable place to live, and, if your social worker isn't sure that your home will be stable in the sense of location, then I can see how she could be concerned.

Since the move may only be a short distance and not out-of-state, it may be nothing. You can always call the agency or organization you are working with anonymously to ask them the question without the info being tagged to your file.

I'm not recommending that you are dishonest in any way or that you hide the fact that you may be moving from them. I'm just saying that if you want to know what you are up against before you tell them, that's a way to do it.

Sorry for the stress!

ellekae · September 2013

aligross said:

5) Have any questions you would like to ask?
How long did it take for your background checks to come back?

Ours took about 3 weeks... but it depends a lot on what's going on at the time. Yours are probably stuck in the backlog of all the school-related background checks since it's that time of year. Sorry for the delay! Hope that they show up soon!

aprilbeachbride · September 2013

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world? DIA

2) Who are you in the Triad? Hopeful Adoptive Mother/Father

3) Where in your process are you? Waiting for our Home Study to be finalized/go live with our agency - visits are complete, just waiting for social worker to finish report.

4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week? Nothing adoption related. Only ugh moment is having to clean out closets to make room for baby stuff!

5) Have any questions you would like to ask? None today.

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most? Sons of Anarchy, Modern Family, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

[Deleted User] · September 2013

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spencerlynne · September 2013

ellekae said:

spencerlynne said:
What happens if you move in the middle of the process? I know I should ask our social worker but I'm worried she'll put a red flag on our file (uncertain, unstable, possibly moving...I know I'm paranoid). There is a small possibility we will move to a different county (not too far at all) next year and I'm worried that we would have a foster-to-adopt child taken away from us or have to start the process over.

That's a tough one. It is possible that if you have to move that your agency/org may be wary of sending a placement your way. The whole point of foster care is to give the kiddos a safe and stable place to live, and, if your social worker isn't sure that your home will be stable in the sense of location, then I can see how she could be concerned.

Since the move may only be a short distance and not out-of-state, it may be nothing. You can always call the agency or organization you are working with anonymously to ask them the question without the info being tagged to your file.

I'm not recommending that you are dishonest in any way or that you hide the fact that you may be moving from them. I'm just saying that if you want to know what you are up against before you tell them, that's a way to do it.

Sorry for the stress!

Thanks for the idea! I think I will do that.

We're kind of between a rock and hard place...I would totally understand an agency's hesitation on placing a child with a couple that might move. We've thought about putting off our home study until we know for sure but I also hate the idea of waiting, not moving and then being 4-6 months behind where we would have been. Like I said, we probably won't be moving for a few years but if we need to (for DH's job) I hate the thought of disrupting a child's life or losing them.

I'm a worry wart! I know you can never be 100% certain of the next step/chapter in your life and things can come up at any time that disrupt my "perfect" plans. I just like to plan to the Nth degree for all situations!

kva11isho · September 2013

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world?

DIA. Homestudy approved January, 2013.

2) Who are you in the Triad?

PAP

3) Where in your process are you?

Matched 8/11/13!

4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week?

We announced our match to our families! Yay! We are attending an ultrasound appointment with the expectant mom this Friday. We should find out if we're expecting a boy or girl, but just praying to see a healthy baby!

5) Have any questions you would like to ask?

How often (if at all) should I contact the expectant mom we've been matched with? She gave me her phone number and has texted me a few times since our match. We're also attending doctor's appointments with her. I just don't want to seem pushy or overly excited, because I know it's an emotional process for her. But I do want her to know that we are thinking of and praying for her.

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most?

13 days of Halloween on ABC Family! Does that count? I love Fall TV!

maryoosa · September 2013

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world?
Domestic Infant Adoption. Pushing towards finalization.

2) Who are you in the Triad? Adoptive Mom.

3) Where in your process are you? We have completed birth mom TPR with an unknown birth father. We are having the second of 3 post-placement visits this weekend, then a 3rd, then the move to a court date. Finalization can be no sooner than October 29th, but most likely will not be that soon.

4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week? Yay: We took the baby to Pittsburgh now that the 30 day wait was over to meet the rest of his family. It was fun- but a really long drive. Everyone loves him. UGH: even though I'm on parental leave, I'm still having to go into work for some meetings throughout the semester which is causing child care issues.

5) Have any questions you would like to ask? Not really.

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most? It's a winter one--- Downton Abbey Season 4.

Kirstybaby · September 2013

maryoosa said:

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most? It's a winter one--- Downton Abbey Season 4.

Gah! I love Downton Abbey so much! I can't wait until it comes back on again either!

Kirstybaby · September 2013

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world?

IA from Uganda

2) Who are you in the Triad?
What is the Triad?

3) Where in your process are you?

Waiting for a match!

4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week?

Hmm...my adoption-related "Yay" would be that my hubby and I were able to share about our adoption and Uganda-culture stuff with my extended family at a picnic over Labor Day weekend. I only see that particular group of people once or twice a year, and we hadn't had the chance to share with them about our adoption story in person. They were so supportive and encouraging! They can't wait for us to bring our little one home!

No "Ugh's"...

5) Have any questions you would like to ask?
If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked or homeless?

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most?

Once Upon a Time & Scandal. As I wrote above, I also can't wait for the return of Downton Abbey over the winter! I am very sad that my friends at Dunder Mifflin aren't returning this fall!

aligross · September 2013

"Adoption Triangle or Adoption Triad: A term used to describe the three-sided relationship that exists in an adoption between birth parents, adoptive parents and the adoptee, each of which is interrelated and inter-dependent on the others."

JoaPata · September 2013

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world?

Adoption through Foster Care system

2) Who are you in the Triad?

Adoptive Parent

3) Where in your process are you?

Finished week 8 of Pride. Next week is the final week. I remember posting prior to week 1. Time is flying!! Working on my "Life Story" now for our adoption case worker.

4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week?

I am ready for class to be over...Enjoyed it but ready for it to be done.

5) Have any questions you would like to ask?

Nope

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most?

I can't choose just one: Vampire Diaries, The Originals, Downton Abby, Once Upon a Time..the list could continue.

Kirstybaby · September 2013

aligross said:

"Adoption Triangle or Adoption Triad: A term used to describe the three-sided relationship that exists in an adoption between birth parents, adoptive parents and the adoptee, each of which is interrelated and inter-dependent on the others."

Oh, thank you. I figured that was what it meant based on other people's posts, but I had not heard it called that before.

sgb721 · September 2013

jalara48 said:

Strawberryglobug said:
6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most? Once Upon a Time and Parenthood (although I don't think that comes back until spring- not sure)

Spring??? gah!

It comes back Thursday 9/26/13!!!!!!!

JoshKrisAdopt · September 2013

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world? DIA 2) Who are you in the Triad? Potential adoptive mom 3) Where in your process are you? Waiting, waiting, waiting to be chosen. 4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week? This last week I've had to donate breast milk I was saving for our adoptive child. It was either let it expire in two months and throw it away or donate it. UGH!!!! 5) Have any questions you would like to ask? How many of you have found your birth family through word of mouth? 6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most? Don't really watch TV. https://joshandkrisloveadoption.blogspot.com/

sumati · September 2013

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world? Adoption

2) Who are you in the Triad? Waiting to be an Adoptive Mom

3) Where in your process are you? Pre-Application/Deciding on which agency to go with

4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week? Agency we are leaning towards next info meeting that we can attend is in November.. So just waiting waiting waiting until we can go to the meeting and then fill out the for real application

5) Have any questions you would like to ask? nope

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most? Looking forward to Once Upon a Time, Modern Family, Doctor Who, Sherlock (YAY! it's back!!) and Dracula.. and so many more.. if it has a geeky fandom... I'm probably on board.

Ugh.. how did I forget Walking Dead and American Horror Story?!?

Lewis813 · September 2013

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world? Domestic Infant Adoption/Birth Placement

2) Who are you in the Triad? Waiting to be an Adoptive Mother

3) Where in your process are you? Application and Paperwork Complete as of January 2012. Available and waiting for a match since January 2012

4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week? Our agency sent out an update early this past week. We have a birth mother viewing our profile tomorrow (eek!)

5) Have any questions you would like to ask? Anyone else here doing birth placement from the U.S.? How long have you been waiting?

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most? I don't even know! We used to watch Dexter, but recently cancelled our premium channels. What's on this fall?

L12abell · September 2013

1) What path are you taking in the Adoption/Fostering world? DIA

2) Who are you in the Triad? Hopeful/Awaiting Mom

3) Where in your process are you? Working on the application and learning all we can.

4) Do you have any YAY(s) or UGH(s) you want to share from this past week? We started rearranging our house and emptying out the "baby's" room.

5) Have any questions you would like to ask? Do you/did you advertise independently and/or have online profiles?

6) QOTD: What Fall TV program are you looking forward to the most? How I Met Your Mother

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