Long Weekend...

Carrie3102 · September 2013

So, SIL's wedding was this weekend. It included festivities on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. These were the longest days I've had in a long time.

Brace yourselves this will no doubt be long.

Friday: "Rehersal Dinner"

This day actually wasn't horrible, we left after DH got off of work went straight to his aunt's house (I don't get along well with said aunt). It was where the rehersal would take place and they were doing a pizza/pool party type deal for that. Well the friend who was officiating is only able to legally perform ceremonies in Ohio, wedding on Saturday was in WV. So, they got married that night at the rehersal. No big issues arose other than MIL and aunt trying to put water shose on DD that were two sizes too big, I told them no she didn't need them and made myself clear, and DD being COMPLETELY off schedule, up way too late, but she had fun swimming and I'm ok with that.

Saturday: "Wedding"

For months prior to this day, I'd been asking DH if we could leave DS at home, it would just be too much since we were both in the wedding. He keeps reassuring me that his mom will take care of both DD and DS (I told him that this was his sister's wedding and unfair to ask his mom to do that), but both he and his mom said no problem. So, I take DD and SIL and we go get hair done, it was fun, we then go up to the wedding site (all outdoors) to see how decorating is coming along. I find DS in the sun in his HOT carseat alone, crying while DH and MIL and FIL, and aunt and so on... were all decorating. Unhappy about this I got him out fed him stripped him down because he was so hot, and waited on DH to tell me he was leaving (we had no room for DS in SIL's car) and SIL, DD, and I leave.

We reconnect at MIL's house to get ready, I get everyone ready, DH, DS, DD, Bride, help sew another bridesmaid into her dress, and finally get ready myself. I am again reassured that this arrangement is fine and MIL doesn't mind watching my kids while pictures are happening. I put the diaper bag into the car, per MIL's request, (remember this) and we leave for pictures. Pictures take less than an hour, we go up to the wedding site and DD is already covered in red juice... awesome, DS is being held by someone I don't know and said person is feeding him, I walk up and ask if he's burped (bottle is empty) she says... "Oh, I never even tried" DS is fussy, it's gas and when he burps (finally) he spits up what looks like (probably wasn't) half his bottle. Awesome. Where is MIL you ask... Drinking.

Fast forward to the wedding, I put DS in the pnp, because he's hot, I can see him from where the ceremony is taking place and he's shaded and there's a nice breeze. DD is supposed to be with MIL, but of course she's running wild and making all sorts of noise during the ceremony, I could've killed DH and MIL both. It was awful. Others say it was cute, I say it looked like our child had no discipline.

During the dinner DD was given countless cookies and juice (kool-aid) and no matter how many times I said no, I wanted her to eat real food at some point you know? Well, after dinner I was hovering over DS because all the little girls were trying to pick him up, people were leaning in to touch him with lit cigarettes either in their mouth or opposite hand, it was awful. Then all of the sudden I see my daughter and her dress, covered in ashes, her face all you could see were her eyes and mouth. H is nowhere to be found, MIL drunk, so now I've got to clean her up, while doing so, I notice, she's not been changed all day, and she's soaked, so, on to that as well. While dealing with that I look over and DS is gone. That's right GONE. Scared me to death, it took me 5 minutes to find him, I asked for him back and put him on. Finished cleaning up DD and go to find H. I mention to him that I'm sick of everyone touching DS and ask that he keep a better eye on DD. Well, sure he says, then finds one of his buddy's wives to watch DD... Seriously? He then proceeds to get drunk as well.

A while later after I've fed DS again a friend of mine comes over to talk (since I refuse to leave the pnp again) we're talking and having a good time when H comes over and shoves something in my face. It's his buddy's pay stub. over 6k for two weeks. Why is this in my face I ask, since honestly I don't care what he makes and it's none of my business. He says "why won't you let me move us back here and do this?!, You could be a SAHM." I say I don't want to discuss this at this time, and don't bring it up again we'll talk when he hasn't been drinking and we can have a serious discussion. Well 10 minutes later another buddy's wife is talking to me about how her DH does this and she's at home with 4 kids etc, and I said thanks, but I don't care to discuss this here, it's a wedding, let's just have fun.

It's getting pretty late at this point 8:30 ish (bedtime for my kiddos) and H comes up and says he'd like to go to a pool party afterwards at his aunt's house. Fine I don't care the kids are just going to sleep and so am I, so I say well let's get them back to your mom's. He's all ok they need to load my truck so hold on... at 9:30 I say is the truck loaded? He says no, I say get on it, because we're leaving. at 10, DD is dancing on the fire place in the shelter house and I ask H if all is ready, he says, IDK... So I go and ask MIL, she says yes, I say to DH, well let's go. I figured he would be taking us to his mom's and (I'd drive) and then have someone pick him up on the way. So I jump in the truck and say come on DH.. he says, no I need to stay here they need me. So, even though I'm pissed off, I go. I get to MIL's and guess what, it starts pouring, DS is screaming in the back seat (and did the whole way home) and DD is passed out. I have to carry both kids and our diaper bag up the steps in the dark in a dress that is now too long (no heels) in the pouring rain. No biggie their clothes are in the other diaper bag in the house, I'll just get everyone changed and we'll go to bed.

I finally get DS in go back out for DD. I get her stripped down and go to change her... and the bag is missing, no clothes anywhere. So I strip DS and DD and luckily I have a onsie in the regular diaper bag for him, and I swaddle him up. I put DS in the pnp in our room and DD in the bed H and I sleep in, I call H... where is the diaper bag with the clothes in it? Oh in MIL's car, she argues that she told me to put the diaper bag in her car, and I didn't, I said I surely did, and you had to have seen it it was in the car seat. H gets home just in time for DS to wake up, I hand him to H and say, all wake ups are yours tonight, I am exhausted and not because I was having a good time and drinking and swimming, but because I had to manage your kids all day in a huge place surrounded by people I didn't know for about 6 hours, and I'd been up since 5:30... so, have a good night.

Sunday "the after party"

In order to get rid of the leftovers from the wedding they decided to have a pool party on Sunday too. So we packed up and DD rode down with SIL and BIL, I get there and they've got her in those damn shoes that don't fit again. I said she didn't need them, aunt argued, I said, no she's fine she doesn't need them, Aunt argues, i say she's my kid and she doesn't need them. H jumps to her aid, says he told them to put them on her (total lie because we got there at the same exact time), I yelled at him and walked away. H and I have a HUGE argument there, and he says that his aunt says since the deck is made of treated lumber that if DD gets a splinter, she'll die. REALLY H? REALLY? Sorry, I don't buy bullshit, I've had many a splinter from a treated lumber deck, and I'm alive. Sorry if I'm more concerned that she doesn't fall on her face and break an arm, or bust her face up, good lord, if you want her to have water shoes and that's your "rule" then have it all summer long and tell us about it, I'll buy her some water shoes that FIT. They always try to undermine my parenting decisions and H doesn't EVER take my side -- that's a whole other story for another day.

Long story short here, I apologized because I hurt H and he said I was "just like her" and I'm not his aunt is a total B and does things just to piss other people off, she does things because no one is good enough and she knows everything and anyone who disagrees with her "must be eliminated" that's also another story for another day. As I walk up to her to apologize I say "I owe you an apology" her response "YOU BETTER!" I reply "Or, you could just listen and accept the apology up to you," " I don't want DD wearing those because they don't fit, I'd rather her get a splinter than fall on her face" She says, "well if she gets a splinter from this treated wood she'll die!" It took all I had not to laugh in her face.

So if you made it to the end, kudos. I needed to get that all out!

And yes, I know H and I have some serious issues to work out, but odds are they never will be, because he doesn't know how to have a conversation about this.

I hope you all had better weekends than I did!

Stina2012 · September 2013

I'd send him this as an email if he won't talk.

jemasa33 · September 2013

Omg I'm so sorry that sounded horrible.

giraffeluvspi · September 2013

Kudos to you, lady, for surviving! I hope H pulls his head out if his ass and realizes what an amazing mother you are to his children.

Where did you find DS after he went missing? I'm assuming someone yanked him from his pnp. I would be LIVID if someone took my kid like that!

Also good to know I'm lucky to be alive after getting so many splinters from treated lumber. I even had one that surfaced after about 6 mo (I had a cut last summer that healed up, didn't realize a piece of the wood that cut me had embedded in my ankle). Good grief with that much time to marinate... *phew*!