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custody hearing

jessilynnwilliamsjessilynnwilliams member
in Single Parents
Hey ladies. I've been lurking for a while, but have some questions I'm hoping you can with me with.
Two months ago, my husband kicked me out and I took our (then) 9 month with me. He took all the money out of our joint bank account, quit his job, and in no way has provided for me or our daughter since. Last week, i was served with papers that he's suing me for custody of our daughter.
Can someone walk me through a custody hearing? I'm clueless on what's going to happen. Also, what kind of documentation, etc is most important in proving why I deserve custody?
Thanks!
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Re: custody hearing

  • babymama619babymama619 member
    I don't have any experience , but I say you call a lawyer. Most will give you a free consult. Also make sure you're documenting everything, even an informal notebook could help you.

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  • jessilynnwilliamsjessilynnwilliams member
    Thanks babymama! I'm waiting on a lawyer to call back and have definitely been documenting everything! Makes me feel a little better that I'm already doing that! I appreciate the response!
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  • EarthandFireEarthandFire member
    edited September 2013
    I wouldn't do anything until you consult a lawyer considering his behavior. Right now neither of you has more claim than the other. Either of you could take off with DD and the other has no real legal grounds until you go court. There are a lot of factors the court will look at you havent mentioned here. His actions sound pretty unstable. I mean quiting a job then expecting to be able to provide for DD? I'm no lawyer but whoever is/was the primary caregiver is probably going to get physical custody. They're probably going to look at schedules and care for the first 9 months. His recent behavior will play in but that's a smaller factor. As for documentation, the lawyer will know best but I would think child care receipts or cancelled checks, emails or texts from STBXH and conversations if you can audio record them. Anything that says I'm looking after DD's well being first and can do that best. Good luck. That's a hard place to be.
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  • jessilynnwilliamsjessilynnwilliams member
    EarthandFire said:

    I wouldn't do anything until you consult a lawyer considering his behavior. Right now neither of you has more claim than the other. Either of you could take off with DD and the other has no real legal grounds until you go court. There are a lot of factors the court will look at you havent mentioned here. His actions sound pretty unstable. I mean quiting a job then expecting to be able to provide for DD? I'm no lawyer but whoever is/was the primary caregiver is probably going to get physical custody. They're probably going to look at schedules and care for the first 9 months. His recent behavior will play in but that's a smaller factor. As for documentation, the lawyer will know best but I would think child care receipts or cancelled checks, emails or texts from STBXH and conversations if you can audio record them. Anything that says I'm looking after DD's well being first and can do that best. Good luck. That's a hard place to be.

    Thanks so much. I was referred to legal aid through our state and am waiting for a lawyer through them to contact me. I have saved every text, bank record, police report, etc so I'm feeling alright about what I have documented. I have always been her primary caregiver, so I'm really hoping the judge agrees with what you said.

    How long is a custody hearing usually? One afternoon? Multiple days? I'm sorry, I have no clue how any of this works!

    Thanks again!
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  • EarthandFireEarthandFire member
    You're welcome and police records! Eek!

    I'm afraid time really depends. You can file for an "emergency" custody and visitation order but the long term order will take longer especially if you've decided to divorce rather than just a legal separation. You could go through several moderation meetings and revisions. If you do come to terms you can both agree on out of court the hearing should be short but if you can't come to an agreement and the judge has to decide it could take longer. It's not something I would want to rush. This is potentially going to cover your DD's entire childhood. You need to think about when she's 6, 12, 17. There is CO information here and the blended family board has good information too if want to prowl around there. I've been a single parent for about a decade and more recently my BH and I have started blending our family. I'm also from a blended family. You're going to want to consider all your possibilities. I recommend not getting too nit picky on details but make sure to CYA. NCP's can make life h3ll for a CP for many reasons.
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