Back to school costs - kind of a weird thing bm did

bebe11 · August 2013

I thought this was totally weird, but maybe it is just me. SD (she is 7) called DH the other day and told him how BM took her shopping and spent $300 at Justice for new clothes for school. DH then heard the following between SD and BM:

BM: Tell your dad thank you for the new clothes

SD: Why he didn't buy them (she was TOTALLY confused)

On a different note, I think I have spent over $600 getting supplies, clothes, shoes, backpack and we had to buy 10 chapter type books that cost over $80 for English class, for a 7th grader. Thankfully my ex usually splits all the costs with me. I feel a little bad that we never split back to school costs with our 2 BM's but they never ask!

karatechrissy · August 2013

Do you have 50/50 or are you eow? We are 50/50, so we each take care of our own. We also pay CS, and IMO, with us taking care of SS on our half of the week AND paying BM CS, I would never offer to pay for half his back to school stuff to her.

EOW parents... I don't think it's an obligation, but I think it's really nice to offer SOMETHING. CS doesn't begin to cover the real costs of having a child full time. I think this is one of those grey areas that people interpret differently. I think EOW parents should be helping with extra stuff like that, personally.

bebe11 · August 2013

karatechrissy said:

Do you have 50/50 or are you eow? We are 50/50, so we each take care of our own. We also pay CS, and IMO, with us taking care of SS on our half of the week AND paying BM CS, I would never offer to pay for half his back to school stuff to her.

EOW parents... I don't think it's an obligation, but I think it's really nice to offer SOMETHING. CS doesn't begin to cover the real costs of having a child full time. I think this is one of those grey areas that people interpret differently. I think EOW parents should be helping with extra stuff like that, personally.

We have the stepkids EOW, H will take my SS to get some more back to school stuff, he is 15 1/2 and his mom doesn't have a lot of extra money, and CS to her is pretty minimal compared to what BM2 gets, the difference is quite a bit. I did buy my SD a couple of shirts when we were out getting DD some stuff, but it was because I didn't want her to feel left out. But my H would never do it on his own.

My ex has my DD EOW and 1 day a week. We used to buy stuff seperate, but he doesn't like taking my DD shopping so we just started splitting what I spend. But I send copies of the receipts so he knows what I've bought.

SimpleJane · August 2013

Does she get CS? Maybe she bought the clothes and back to school stuff with CS money and thats why she was telling SD to thank her dad?

bebe11 · August 2013

SimpleJane said:

Does she get CS? Maybe she bought the clothes and back to school stuff with CS money and thats why she was telling SD to thank her dad?

Yep, I am pretty sure that is what BM was refering to, but SD's reaction was just funny.

Littlejen22 · August 2013

What chapter books? Could you have used the library or bought used? Did the kid grow that they needed that much stuff? That sucks because that is a lot if money and the stuff does not last long. As for books I really am trying to to buy a lot because they are mostly read once.

Littlejen22 · August 2013

bebe11 said:

SimpleJane said:

Does she get CS? Maybe she bought the clothes and back to school stuff with CS money and thats why she was telling SD to thank her dad?

Yep, I am pretty sure that is what BM was refering to, but SD's reaction was just funny.
Did she sound genuine or sarcastic. If she said it nicely I think it is great.

bebe11 · August 2013

Littlejen22 said:

What chapter books? Could you have used the library or bought used? Did the kid grow that they needed that much stuff? That sucks because that is a lot if money and the stuff does not last long. As for books I really am trying to to buy a lot because they are mostly read once.

The list has 10 books on it. I was going to buy them used online, but with the shipping it wouldn't really save much. I have the BN membership card, so I'll at least save 20%. She could check them out at the library, if they are avail., but the teachers like the kids to highlight and make notes in the books.

bebe11 · August 2013

As for the clothes I bought, I really didn't buy a whole lot. It really did add up fast, and now that my DD is going into 7th grade I can't get away with buying her stuff that I pick out that might be a little cheaper. I bought ONE pair of Vans, some socks and a backpack at the Van's store that just for that it was $110!

MissSusieQ · September 2013

We have SS EOW and half holidays and breaks. DH provides 75% of SS support because BM chooses not to work. It is not spelled out in the court order for us to split back to school costs. We always buy SS new clothes for our house so that's really a non issue but supplies should be budgeted into the child support. Of course BM should be providing 25% of SS support each month. Child support isn't made to pay for everything it is meant to help pay for portions of things.

JessH1474 · September 2013

I think it depends on the amount of child support that's paid. If it's a higher amount then I agree that supplies should be included but if not then I think it's nice to help with things like that. My DH pays BM a good amount of child support so we don't do supplies but we do get SS a few outfits and a pair of shoes each year. I also think it helps if you know you are splitting things 50/50 as opposed to getting stuck doing way more than the other parent while still paying cs.

Back to school costs - kind of a weird thing bm did

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