Community› The Bump Month Clubs› March 2014 Moms
March 2014 Moms
New Discussion

VENT...Is it possible to get advice without judgement??? Grrrrr

Melissa72777Melissa72777 member
in March 2014 Moms
So I posted up on Facebook asking for friends in my area to let me know if they have used a daycare in our area or heard good/bad reviews of any. I'm obviously touring/interviewing any that I'm interested in and have been doing my own research but just thought I would see if anyone I knew had recommendations. Instead of me getting the advice that I ask for I get judgement about using a daycare rather than staying home with my baby or trying to find someone to watch the baby out of their home. I know these people who bashed the daycare idea: 1 has a caregiver who smokes with her own children and the kids she watches in her house, the other has 3 kids & is a so called stay at home mom but still needs a nanny and her mother (who has cancer) to do everything for her, and the other watches kids out of her home with no license,a built in pool with no fence, and 4 dogs that are constantly running into and jumping on the kids not to mention how she constantly posts on Facebook how the kids she watches are driving her nuts. My husband and I did research and had long discussions on our choice of child care before we got pregnant. I also was in daycare from a very early age and feel it greatly helped with my socialization and education. Everyone needs to make the decision that is best for them and their child so I'm not going to judge anyone who has the ability to stay home with their child or prefers a caregiver in their home. However it just drives me nuts that being a FTM looking for specific advice about daycare centers from my so called friends I can't even get that because all I get is judgement. I almost went off on Facebook but decided against it and ended up deleting my posts. I guess lesson learned and I will just stick to my books and info on the Internet.

Melissa

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

 

   image

Report Reply to Post

Re: VENT...Is it possible to get advice without judgement??? Grrrrr

  • Momstheword83Momstheword83 member
    I would have called those people out on their child care/parenting practices.
    BabyFetus Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • lopezalonsolopezalonso member
    Some people are just too small minded to understand that each mother has different circumstances and preferences AND THE RIGHT to make her own decision about her child's care. I can't believe these other people were mothers too. *shaking my head*
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • kkranberrykkranberry member
    FarmBoysWife said:
    Welcome to motherhood :/
    It's true.  I get judged by my mom and my SAHM friends for working and judged by my employees that I don't work enough.  To each their own.  Just worry about making the right decision for you and your family and let them worry about their decisions.

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt17e6c5.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt188868.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

     

    Report Reply
  • lindsey1031lindsey1031 member
    It's a strange, strange thing about how people always think they have to share their opinion with how you choose to raise your own children.  As a child care provider and teacher I am very careful to keep my opinions out of it, no matter what!  I like to share stories that might provide good connections for people who are seeking advice or something to relate to, but I would never tell someone how to parent.  Now, I'm already encountering those people and I'm not handling it very well.  I call them out and very rudely tell them to mind their own business.  It's not very nice of me at all.  I don't have any patience for it, especially since I work so hard not to do that to others.  You're not alone.
               

    image




           
    Report Reply
  • SomersIslesSomersIsles member
    CHalePhoto said:

    I always judged SAHMs who needed nannies. And now I'll be a mom, who stays at home, and also works full time, and tries to run a successful business. And I'm totally hiring some help. Motherhood is making me a hypocrite.

    Let them judge. It will come back and bite them. Sorry that happened though! Stick to your convictions and make the best decision for your baby! :-)

    I don't think you even qualify as a SAHM. Running a business from home WHILE taking care of children... ?? That'd be like me bringing my child to work when I have kids.... Yikes
    httpmediaspotcoolstuffcomwp-contentuploads201212bonding-with-baby-humorjpg  http4bpblogspotcom_OHvEyRV8W28SBeOugvAtcIAAAAAAAAAj4TR0m3ZOnFXws20010285B15Djpg  httptommcmahontypepadcomphotosuncategorized20080126safebabygif

    Report Reply
  • nkrone08nkrone08 member
    Fuck those people. I worked way too hard to get my degree to have a career that makes me feel successful. I'm not giving it up just because I'm having a couple kids. Not to mention, I provide our health insurance.
    This.  Thankfully no judgement yet for planning to not be a SAHM but I'm sure I'll get my dose by the time LO arrives.
    Report Reply
  • Hrose7091Hrose7091 member
    I would love to be a stay at home mom, but we need the extra income. So instead of daycare we have alternating shifts. I am not trusting whatsoever and I can't imagine anyone will ever love my children or care for them the same way my husband and I do. She is a very social child and loves other people and when she's around 3 or 4 we will start preschool for further socialization, etc. if we were to ever have to use daycare for whatever reason I would much rather use a licensed daycare than babysitter in my home. I've seen way too many scary nanny cams. Do what works best for your family.
    Report Reply
  • MaddeegalMaddeegal member
    Okay, I'm feeling a bit of SAHM hate... I love staying at home with my daughter, and there is nothing wrong with being a SAHM, that being said, I totally understand using daycare. I don't understand why it is even an argument, daycares are a normal part of life nowadays. Some people like myself, don't have family who lives anywhere close to me, so if I do decide to go back to work I'll be sporting the day care too. Don't see why these people think it is a huge deal. They seem to just want to make themselves feel happier by making you feel guilty.
    Report Reply
  • Excitedmum35Excitedmum35 member
    My little boy has been in daycare since 12 months and it has done so much for him. He is independent and has his own little social group. If course I respect SAHMs and at the moment I stay at home on Fridays with my boy but I feel I parent better as a working mum- that's just me. This baby will most likely need to go to daycare earlier than 12 months as ill have to go back to work for financial reasons.
    I found visiting the daycare centres and talking to and observing the staff the best way to choose a centre. We have been incredibly happy with our choices (we moved towns so had to choose twice) good luck!
    Report Reply
  • MeganFrench120389MeganFrench120389 member
    I plan on being a SAHM and my MIL has already started giving me crap. She worke full time with three kids and "raised them well"... I really don't care how she raised them, I care about how I'm going to take care of my family. People need to mind their own business.
    Report Reply
  • PinupMomma08PinupMomma08 member
    bearsbearsbears said:


    CHalePhoto said:

    I always judged SAHMs who needed nannies. And now I'll be a mom, who stays at home, and also works full time, and tries to run a successful business. And I'm totally hiring some help. Motherhood is making me a hypocrite.

    Let them judge. It will come back and bite them. Sorry that happened though! Stick to your convictions and make the best decision for your baby! :-)

    There's no possible way to work from home during traditional hours without childcare.  Well, I guess you could do it, but I'm fairly certain you couldn't do both well.



    That's the truth. I worked from home for a year... Let me tell you. It was the worst set up of all time. To this day, DS throws a fit if I get on the computer. My only advice is if you do WAH get help. Saves you from compulsively ripping out your eyelashes.
    BFP#1 11/10* DS Born via Cesarean 7/11* BFP#2 EDD 1/31/14 *M/C 6/13* BFP #3 RCS 3/14/14
    image
    Brothers!
    image
    "I wish that I could bake a cake, made out of rainbows and smiles. And we would all eat it and be happy." 
    Report Reply
  • KariB509KariB509 member
    Bitches. I take DS to daycare so I'm certainly not going to judge you!!
    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker   image

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Kari~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"