Sperm Banks

Amber&Reva · September 2013

I have been patrolling this blog for a while now and reading about all of your successes and sorrows. I am about to begin the TTC journey with my GF. We will be getting all the results from my blood work and other fertility tests on the 11th and then AF should be coming on the 12th. If we can get everything together quickly enough and decide on a donor I hope to get my first IUI in September. I'm waiting to get the results of my CMV test before we start seriously looking for a donor.

I was wondering what sperm banks people used, I recently starting looking at NW cryobank because the overall cost is much more reasonable. Did anyone else use them? My partner and I have an ongoing debate on whether to look at life time photos or not. I say no, where as she wants to see them. What did people decide on this? Also any other advice would be great, as I am beginning what I hope will be a short journey to parenthood but is likely to be a lot longer and more trying then planned.

2MamazInSeattle · September 2013

I would have used NW,Cryobank if it was an option at our clinic at the time; it is now. We were happy enough with California Cryobank who we went with.

My vote is to look at the photos and have them with all the donor info for your future LO. I put myself in their shoes - if I was a donor kid, and found put my parents could've had more info for me about my donor but opted not to, I would be pretty mad I think. So for us, we went for maximum info for our future kid(s).

Also if you can find a cmv negative donor you like, you don't have to wait on your results...though it does limit you (I'm cmv negative but I appreciated having a way to narrow it down!).

welcome and good luck!

mrs&mrsA · September 2013

We used California Cryo and had no issues with them. For us looking at the donor pictures was an important part of our decision making process. We wanted physical traits that resembled my wife. We also printed them out and will save them for the baby. I am CMV neg and used a CMV positive donor. Our RE had no issues with the donor being positive. We had a BFP on our third unmedicated IUI. Of course your physician knows best but that is my experience.

KH826 · September 2013

Welcome! We used NW Cryobank for our second donor (which we will be using for our upcoming IVF cycle). We went with Fairfax first, because they were local and had worked with our dr's office a lot. Then after we used our 3 vials from our Fairfax donor without success, our Dr suggested we considered switching donors. So we decided to switch banks as well since we found NW and saw that they were about 1/2 the price of Fairfax. We were happy with NW. We didn't get pregnant with the next 2 IUIs that we did with the new NW donor (but that's obviously not the banks fault), and we will be using our last vial for the IVF cycle that we are currently prepping for. We chose not to look at photos of our donor. I think there are many different approaches to this, and I respect all of them. For us and our family, we did not want to think about seeing our donor's features in our children when we looked at them. To us, the donor is a means to an end - it is genetic material. I am not articulating our thoughts and feelings on this issue well right now.... So I am going to stop trying at the moment! My two cents: talk it through with your partner and find what feels right for you. Good luck & keep us posted on your progress!

kristi&p · September 2013

We have been using FairFax, we went through 4 vials. The first two price wasnt bad the second two the price went up almost $300. FairFax if you buy four and dont get pregnant then send a 5th vial free. This being our 5th IUI my plan after the free vial was to move forward with a new donor and possibly new bank just due to price.

I am happy with getting all the info I possibly can including all photos just to keep in a safe place for when the LO is older and wants to know. Hope your decision making goes smoothly

Amber&Reva · September 2013

Thank you everyone for your responses. KH826 I understand what you are saying. That is the reason I don't want to see adult photos (although I am fine with childhood photos), but knowing that babies tend to look like the genetic father when first born, I don't want to look at our baby and see the donor. Although, I hadn't really thought about it in terms of in the far future and being able to provide our child with as much information as possible where they came from.

Since I am carrying I am letting my partner pick the sperm donor so she is going to have the final say in adult photos or not.

I am going to start looking for CMV negative donors so that we can be ready to do our first IUI in September. Thank you again for all our insights!

ball.and.chain · September 2013

We also used California Cryobank. They are more expensive than some places, but we thought they had the best donor selection (in terms of number of donors). Since I was CMV- and advised to choose a CMV- donor (which reduced my options by at least half), and we wanted a donor who was willing to be identified when the child turns 18 (which reduced the pool by more than half), we wanted a bank that had a big selection to start with. My experience with them has been mixed. Their customer service has been great. On the other hand, four of my IUIs (out of 5 that we had the sperm tested) came back with lowish sperm counts -- lower than the guaranteed minimum. CCB refunded us for each vial without any trouble BUT that was five cycles that might have been successful with better sperm -- we will never know.

It was also important to me to check the maximum number of families a cryobank allows to get pregnant with each donor. For CCB, it is 20-30. While this isn't the lowest out there, it's lower than some others (Sperm Bank of California is the best I've seen at only 10, Fairfax is 25, Xytex is 40).

ATXmommas · September 2013

We used Fairfax. Of the 5 vials we used, our RE was always pleased with the sperm count. Customer service has been great. No complaints.

Choosing a donor ended up being pretty easy for us. We were looking for a Latino donor since my wife is Latina, which greatly limited the options for us. We viewed a childhood pic, but our donor didn't have any adult pics available. If he had them available, we would have wanted them (we're nosey like that

), but he didn't. Finding a donor with adult pics was not important, but finding an ID Option donor was. Like 2Mamaz, I want to give our kiddo as much info as possible one day and want him to have the option to find out who is other biological half is if so inclined.

I don't know if my wife is a strange bird, but she doesn't have any concerns about not having a biological connection to our child. We haven't even thought about seeing our donor's pic in our kiddo. Just goes to show we're all different in how we process what, to me, can be a strange process (I admit that it is a little odd not knowing the biological other half of our baby!), so y'all just have to figure out what works best for you. Wishing you an easy and quick journey! Good luck.

Amber&Reva · September 2013

Thank you for all your responses

deegadee13 · September 2013

ATXmommas said:

I don't know if my wife is a strange bird, but she doesn't have any concerns about not having a biological connection to our child.

I was the same way! I was a maniac about health history and general personality (turned down all of the art majors for an MBA even thought I went to art school), but didn't really care about finding a donor who was some weird replica of my physical features. We ended up choosing a donor who seemed pretty physically generic and similar to my wife, and now every time I look at my son I see all A- which I love. I have always been more interested in shaping Miles character than making sure he has the same eye color as me

We used CA cryo. Our RE said that New England had been having quality control issues and we went straight to IVF so we only needed two vials of sperm making the one time shipping cost bearable. Not sure we would have done the same thing if we were in the IUI process.

We didn't want to spend the money or have the emotional investment to have all of the extras you can buy through the bank. I was personally worried that any more information than the already dense free profile would just make the decision making process that much harder. Now that we have a real live human and the potential for siblings I think we might spring for the photos and stuff. I do wish I would have realized that the extended profiles tell you if the donor wears glasses...

Amber&Reva · September 2013

I think we are trying to find someone with similar personality traits as R as well as blue eyes. I have dark brown eyes but R has intense blue eyes and I would love for our child to at least have a chance of also having blue eyes. Other then that we are looking for a good education and someone who loves golf and fishing both things R loves. We are both so ethnically diverse so the only important thing there is that the donor also is.

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