Is it normal to fear buying baby items?

Klafountain · August 2013

DH and I went to a buy buy baby for first time ( we don't live near it but were in the area) and I was having wicked anexity. I found the cutest mittens and were gonna get them to start small but I could do it. Anyone else having this?

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · August 2013

Yep. Our AC was out a few months ago so to cool off I walked around Target. I went into the baby section just to see if there was anything we'd need to get this time around. I was looking at clothes and they had a bunch of stuff on sale for like 2 dollars - but it was summer stuff so it would be more for next year and I almost broke down even thinking about spending $2 on something my daughter may never wear. It took me a few trips to buy baby stuff before I finally could. FWIW, I went to BBB for the first time a few weeks ago (they didn't have them here when I was pregnant with my son) and I found it to be totally overwhelming.

ejb23 · August 2013

Oh yes totally happened to me too. I made myself get over it eventually because i got to close not to have stuff but for example i made DH install the carseat in only his car because I couldn't bare to have to take mine out if something happens

Junebug060609 · August 2013

Totally a normal PgAL thing.

poohbear033 · August 2013

The only baby related item we have bought was furniture, it has been in boxes for two weeks. I have no intention of purchasing anything else at this time. When I was 12 weeks, buying things wasn't even in my thoughts.

Mandyw75 · August 2013

I looked at maternity clothes today. Got depressed and walked out. I don't quite need them yet, but things are getting tight.

I am scared too.

rlajambe · August 2013

It's okay if you're not ready. It's completely normal. DH and I didn't buy anything until after our V-day and we've almost finished the nursery now.

Stock pile the money that you would have spent on getting ready for baby. You'll be ready later on. It's perfectly okay to wait. Baby doesn't care how early you bought things.

bargainbabe75 · August 2013

Absolutely normal! As mentioned above,wait until you're ready,no rush as it will only upset and worry you both instead of being an exciting and happy moment. I was terrified as well but we started out small. After the gender u/s I told DH that I wanted to celebrate by buying a babygrow. We went to a clothes shop that also had babywear and took our time together and chose a babygrow each (very cheap as money is a very big issue for us). So cute! We were anxious but very pleased with ourselves. It was a big step after all

I'd say it took about a week for that to soak in. Last week we bought a few more (secondhand) outfits and today we moved around our bedroom furniture to make room for the cot etc in ready for the day we will eventually actually have those items. I must admit that what made a huge difference was getting past the stage we lost out first baby. But everyone is different. We need to be able to enjoy our pregnancies as much as possible and fussing over baby stuff in part of that

PerkyErky · August 2013

My DH and I have decided to not buy anything until we hit viability. My mom has bought stuff but she knows to not bring it over. At this point (13w) I am definitely not ready to be buying anything baby related.

Mandyw75 · September 2013

I can also mention that I got my req forms last Tuesday and I put them in a drawer and have not attempted to make my appointments.

Gizu92708 · September 2013

I was just about to order my carseat online and could not do it. Mind you I will be getting a csection at 37 weeks due to medical issues. This is only about 3 weeks away. Its very hard to buy things with a Pgal brain.

pineconey · September 2013

I have stuff from our loss that I can't bear to look at. I had a tough time with getting maternity clothes for this one, but I needed new pants. As soon as we paid I started thinking of people I could ask to return them for us if something happened.

Avion22 · September 2013

Yeah, and I kind of freaked out on the phone with my mom yesterday when she asked me when we plan on starting to buy stuff. I'm only 10 weeks...it is WAY too soon. Of course, this is my mom who last time, completely disregarded my request to not get us baby stuff for Christmas, and made me an advent calendar of baby stuff (pacifiers, mittens, socks) mixed in with chocolates and Christmas tree ornaments, that I was opening in the weeks after our loss....

daisy19782011 · September 2013

We went a few weeks ago and I cried when I got to the car

Havlous · September 2013

I can't even begin to think about buying baby stuff. I found some cloths I had bought for my sister who is due next month. My DH said "Well, we can just keep it for our baby" I was like no way. Not happening. I am to paranoid that if I buy something for this one, something will happen. I have started to try to make myself look at stuff but I end up an emotional wreck.

porterlove525 · September 2013

((Hugs)). When or if you feel comfortable you can shop, there's no rush.

I had a similar experience to Avion where my family went nuts at Christmas last year and only bought me stuff for our baby, even after I told them not to buy anything. When I lost that baby a few days later on NYE I screamed at my mother and sisters that I had all this stuff in my house that I never wanted for this reason. My sister in law also offered to bring over all of her hand-me-downs 2 months after my second loss. I told her to donate them if she didn't want to wait to get rid of them.

Needless to say I still haven't told a single person that were pregnant now for the third time because of the above, but I have already forewarned my Catholic family that we're doing things like a Jewish family would, nothing baby related is coming into my home until our baby is here or I at least get closer to full term. It's so hard.

BootsOrHearts · September 2013

Yup I'm still having issues, but we realized today that baby will be here in about 90 days and we're starting to freak, ha! Bought a crib yesterday, finally! Yes it's totally normal to be scared.

OSUWifey09 · September 2013

I think that's totally normal. **hugs**

I'm the same way, too. I bought baby girl a pair of shoes a couple of weeks ago, and I almost took them back because the nerves kicked in full force. We're near a bunch of outlet malls this weekend, and I want to start buying more things, but I'm not sure if I can do it mentally. I bought a bunch of clothes and shoes for Devon three weeks before we lost him, and I just can't shake how I felt when I had to pack up all his clothes. I still have lots of time until baby arrives, but at the rate I'm going, baby will come home with nothing unless someone forces me to get things.

awc1986 · September 2013

With my last pregnancy, we found it was a blighted ovum at 12 wks 5 days, which is the standard time for a 1st scan in the uk. We were devastated as we'd been looking at all the things we may need and getting excited over a baby that wasn't there. I'm now 5 wks
and we're not doing anything until we have proof it's actually in there. I know it sounds callous, but we'll believe it when we see it. I'm entitled to an early scan because of my loss, so I should know for sure in a couple of weeks. If its all ok then that's when we can start buying things.
We just bought a house though, so first things first!

Aloyssa2003 · September 2013

I'm only 4 weeks right now but dh and I had a miscarriage last july and are pregnant for the first time since then and we're both a little on edge. It was difficult just walking through the baby dept at the store yesterday on my way to check out. Last time we also told everyone at like 6 weeks and this time around only 4 people will know before 14 weeks because of job/military reasons.

djtippietoes · September 2013

I've bought a few pieces of maternity clothes, but nothing for the baby yet. I hope I'll feel better after my anatomy scan and maybe will feel like I can start buying things then.

MissyNWill · September 2013

I made my first ever baby purchase yesterday. It's a gorgeous, one of a kind vintage quilt. I actually told myself I could sell it if need be. I then decided that no matter what, it would be used for our babies. I'm only 9w5d so no matter if I was PgAL or not, it feels too early to buy baby stuff. But I'm trying really hard to act as if this is really happening. I cried tonight when I told my mom about the quilt.

HopingforChange · September 2013

It's so normal. I am 25 weeks and still feel uncomfortable at times. It depends on the day. I kept all the baby related stuff in one drawer for months so that I could avoid it if I got bad news. It sucks but it's normal when you know how much cleaning up and putting all that stuff away hurts.

kathleensam · September 2013

My husband desperately wants to start buying things but I am feeling like a big rain cloud on his joy. I am only 8 weeks and not comfortable enough at all for shopping. I have a limit of how much I will speak about the pregnancy before I shut down. Avoidance for self preservation

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