SO wants an induction...

babyOrtiz1 · August 2013

We just found out this week that SO will be leaving the week I'm due. He will be over 9 hrs away for 4 days. I really am wanting to avoid as much intervention as possible but if LO is not here by the 4th (I'm due the 10th) he thinks we should have an induction so he can be sure to be here for the birth, as our dr is letting him deliver, and be home for a few days with us after. We decided that we would discuss this option if it was necessary but I'm just not sure how I feel about this.

cagoldi · August 2013

Why does he need to be away during that time?

I would not be okay with an induction, personally.

JaysonandKristin · August 2013

This is one of the first parental decisions you get to make that is meant to wholly benefit your child. Even if it means that mom and dad don't get exactly what they want. The benefit of waiting for spontaneous labor if not at least for 40 weeks gestation cannot be argued in a typical pregnancy.

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · August 2013

I would never allow DH to be that far away that close to my due date.

banole · August 2013

Personally, I would not be ok with this. I understand your DH wants to be there for the birth but this should be about what is best for the baby not what is convenient for him. He has a choice to stay or to go but the baby does not. There is a reason why babies stay in the womb as long as possible, for their optimal health and growth and to interfere with that for convenience just bothers me. But like I said that is just me...

MannaPants · August 2013

wedding06 said:

I didn't understand the line- as our dr is letting him deliver?

Ditto

babymama619 · August 2013

Do you really want to be home alone with an infant for 4 days while your husband is away?

I'm personally pretty opposed to non-medically necessary inductions so I'd have a hard time agreeing to this. Is this your first one? If yes, you'll likely labor for more than 9 hours.

I think you should also look into how successful an induction is likely to be and the subsequent interventions it might lead to. IMO LO only gets so much time in the womb, why interrupt it?

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AnsbyGamber · August 2013

wedding06 said:

I didn't understand the line- as our dr is letting him deliver? I would not be ok with an early induction out of convenience.

Thank goodness! It's not just me!

I think she means her doctor is letting him "catch" the baby.
OP- My hospital will not allow doctors to schedule C-sections for convenience sake, so I suggest you speak to your doctor about the hospital policies. My feeling has always been that you should let your baby cook for as long as they need unless it's healthier for them to be on the outside because of some medical issue. I would personally not be okay with inducing. I would probably try to find a way around him being gone or just make a plan for what happens if I go into labor and how to get him home the fastest way possible.

rbtrumpet · August 2013

melisx33 said:

Why does he have to be gone then? That's the big question. What's more important than your due date??

This is exactly what I was thinking.

Sorry, but I cannot imagine a scenario where DH would leave me alone for 4 days the week I'm due!

If anything, I would be holding out for going a few days past my due date in hopes DH would be back by then, rather than trying to do an induction a week early! Are you going to have a good friend nearby in case something happens on those days he's away?

cagoldi · August 2013

melisx33 said:

Ditto all of the above. I had a friend's fiance suggest this to me. "Get induced, it's so convenient." I am very much against medical interventions unless absolutely necessary, especially when it's concerning our unborn child.

Why does he have to be gone then? That's the big question. What's more important than your due date??

Your friend's fiance sounds like a real brainiac. If I were that concerned about convenience, I certainly wouldn't bother having kids.

I don't expect anything to be convenient for the next 18 years....

SittingOnAMtnTop · August 2013

I might be mistaken, but maybe OP's DH is in the military? I guess that's the only reason that I could come up with explaining why he had no choice in leaving for 4 days right around her due date.

sarenu1 · August 2013

With my first I opted to be induced, my labor slowed.

With this one I will be avoiding it as much as possible. I didn't have any complications, but the pain level was intense once they started to induce. This time I'm going to try to let nature do its thing, unless I'm two weeks past my due date or a medical issue arises.

dugger116 · August 2013

I am in a similar position in that my husband who is military just found out he will be gone for two months starting mid october. He will be in Tennessee, we live in Georgia. I cried and cried and cried, but ultimately had to accept that I would be alone for the birth of our first child and theweeks after. I could opt to be induced on a weekend to make it more convenient for him to make it, but why?

Whether you're military or not, if your husband is called away and it can not be avoided, it should ultimately come down to what is best for baby. It really needs to be about when baby is ready, not DH.

Edit: to add that after those two months are done...he will come back home for a couple of months then head to Mississippi for 8 MONTHS during our baby's first year.

Here's hoping your LO makes their appearance when your SO is around:)

jamima757@yahoo.com · August 2013

I agree with PP- I don't think a doctor will induce you for the reason you're giving. I was induced with LO #1, but my doctor was concerned about his size, and I was already 5 cm dilated- and hadn't felt any contractions- so I guess he was just finishing me off. He even explained to me that hospitals and insurance companies have gotten very strict on reasons for inductions.

Joaniebaldwin · August 2013

My SIL was born at 3 lbs because the doctors induced too early. She was in and out if the hospital for the first year because of this. I am adamantly against induction unless absolutely necessary- your body and baby know when it's ready.

inlove0509 · August 2013

Are u a FTM? If so, it's more possible that your LO will be late anyway. My first didn't arrive until over a week past her due date.

Why does SO have to leave? And most labors are 24 hours plus, especially first time mamas, maybe SO can drive to you as soon as labor starts.

I agree 100% with previous posters. Babies need all the time in the womb as they need; their brains and lungs are still maturing in those last few days even. I would not consider being induced for anyone's convenience.

DebateThis · August 2013

GL with the c/s. Inducing a week before your EDD makes the chances of a C/S skyrocket. Chances are your cervix and your LO won't be ready - the average FTM delivers at 41.5 weeks, so chances are you'll still be pregnant when he gets back.

And, really, you should be telling SO to shove it because his "convenience" is about the last thing down the list of priorities - your health and your LO's health are FAR above it. He needs to figure out his work schedule or some alternate arrangement that doesn't demand such craziness.

sands42 · August 2013

I was induced with my first and will NOT do that again unless for some reason medically necessary. Just from the stand point if someone who's done it...

Jmo30 · August 2013

I was induced with my 1st at 38 weeks for a medical reason. Luckily she was just fine and I had a timely delivery with no complications.This time around I might have to go through the same thing since I'm already swelling so much. But my Dr. Normally will induce only a week before your due date for a non medical reason.

3Dewdrops · August 2013

That would totally suck for him to be there for the delivery and then gone for the first few days of recovery when you will probably dearly need him. I went into labor naturally with my first and it was a pleasant experience. (as pleasant as labor can get) I was induced with my second on Doctor's orders and it was awful. It hurt like crazy-I got drugs that time and baby was having problems with decels. I would not willingly choose an induction.

Maybe you can talk to him about the increased risks with inductions? That way at least he'll understand that its not about convenience but about safety?

kimmycup · August 2013

I agree with all the PP's. I also hope we didn't scare you away, because a lot of us would like some clarification to what you said.

Lolasky · August 2013

I agree with everyone else. Your LOs health is far more important than 'convenience' for your husband. Like most pps have mentioned, FTMs deliver later than 40 w on average. Don't opt for medical intervention unless its warranted. It's honestly not the end of the world if yh misses the birth. What's more important us that you and him will have a beautiful healthy baby if you all nature to take its course.

Maimes10 · August 2013

For the love of all that's holy, please update this post and tell us what could possibly be more important than you and your child the week of your due date?

babyOrtiz1 · September 2013

Sorry, had phone issues for a few days. First of all, SO is leaving for military reasons that cannot be avoided, he would never in a million years opt to be away while LO is born. By delivery I meant catch the baby. And my dr had already offered to induce early due to some complications that aren't really affecting the baby, just me. Originally I said absolutely not bc I want LO to arrive on his/her own schedule and I was also trying to avoid any intervention possible.

DebateThis · September 2013

babyOrtiz1 said:

Sorry, had phone issues for a few days. First of all, SO is leaving for military reasons that cannot be avoided, he would never in a million years opt to be away while LO is born. By delivery I meant catch the baby. And my dr had already offered to induce early due to some complications that aren't really affecting the baby, just me. Originally I said absolutely not bc I want LO to arrive on his/her own schedule and I was also trying to avoid any intervention possible.

What complications?

babyOrtiz1 · September 2013

My swelling is getting worse by the week and I also have a cyst that the baby is now sitting on so it causes severe pain when LO moves or kicks it.

CoIvie · September 2013

I think it may have been better to mention the medical reasons first instead of just saying it was something your SO wanted.. But that's just me

3Dewdrops · September 2013

babyOrtiz1 said:

My swelling is getting worse by the week and I also have a cyst that the baby is now sitting on so it causes severe pain when LO moves or kicks it.

The cyst sounds miserable. =( Maybe baby being more cramped as you approach the EDD will be a blessing since LO won't have the room to move around and kick it.

babyOrtiz1 · September 2013

LO is not affected by these conditions so they really have nothing to do with the post since I am completely willing to stay miserable for another week if there were no other circumstances. It is something that my SO wants and I do not but he is also this child's parent so I need to take a look at all the options at least.

DebateThis · September 2013

babyOrtiz1 said:

LO is not affected by these conditions so they really have nothing to do with the post since I am completely willing to stay miserable for another week if there were no other circumstances. It is something that my SO wants and I do not but he is also this child's parent so I need to take a look at all the options at least.

I think I would tell SO that as long as you are feeling ok and tolerating your issues that you're not comfortable scheduling an induction yet. If you wind up at 38-39w and utterly miserable and can't go on, that's about the only time I would consider it, but not a moment before that and not just because SO is going to be out of town. If you get to the time when he's going to be OOT and are miserable but otherwise healthy, schedule it when he's back (providing your Bishop score indicates you're favorable for induction).

SO wants an induction...

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