I have started a heated debate.

rMe6411 · September 2013

Edited to clarify: Just posted this to FB: I don't normally post stuff like this but why do some parents take things like car seat safety so lightly? Just because the recommendations USED TO BE... and now they are not is obviously because of research that has been conducted. Isn't it your job as a parent to make sure safety and health are top priorities? That would include doing your own research as to what is up to date in 2013.

The post was not directed at any one personally but more of a general statement. It has now turned in to a heated debate between my family members. And how I am "parenting someone elses kid" and "don't know what I am talking about". That's because my SIL and brother have chosen to not rear face past one years old. Should I care?

BatDaughter4Eva · September 2013

She got really defensive. REALLY defensive.

Mc_Newlywed · September 2013

She might have done her own research and disagree with you. But now you've taken it public and it's passive -aggressive. I'd get defensive too.

You said what you wanted to say to her and she chose differently. Her kid, her rules. You ARE trying to parent her kid.

rMe6411 · September 2013

I didn't post that in HER fb. It was a general post not directed at any one person. My brother commented on it.

Rhomonk · September 2013

Eh, I can see where your post can rub people the wrong way with the words "isn't it your job as a parent?". A lot of people just research the laws in their state and go with that. There is a nicer way of informing people.

And did you know your SIL was going to FF before this post, or did this come out now?

nicnac817 · September 2013

I personally feel that when people make comments or posts like that on social media, it's to get a reaction. Even though I do agree with your thoughts.

A less aggressive way to get your point across would be posting a link to some information on the topic. Maybe some people would have gotten some useful facts that they disn't have before.

SpruceGrouse · September 2013

I'm afraid I got into it, don't know why, it is late here and I am in a bad mood.

rp-chicago-mom · September 2013

Mc_Newlywed said:
She might have done her own research and disagree with you. But now you've taken it public and it's passive -aggressive. I'd get defensive too.

You said what you wanted to say to her and she chose differently. Her kid, her rules. You ARE trying to parent her kid.

First, there is no current valid research supporting ff at one. Second, do we know you?

thepretzelchick · September 2013

Their research consisted of what was convenient for them and their kids and their defense was my kid, my choice. I'm pretty go with the flow when it comes to most parenting decisions, but when it pertains to car seat safety and vaccinations, I will judge unashamedly.

BatDaughter4Eva · September 2013

And the whole "my kids legs are squished" thing really gets me. They wouldn't have such a high height maximum, if you couldn't RF that long. :-@

HoneyBunn24 · September 2013

BatDaughter4Eva said:
And the whole "my kids legs are squished" thing really gets me. They wouldn't have such a high height maximum, if you couldn't RF that long. :-@

Or "my kid is bored". No excuse!

rMe6411 · September 2013

Ha there were quite a few bumpies who backed me up... And the ignorant ones who were trying to argue pro FF discontinued posting. I, too, treat this nonsense aggressively because children can't make their own choices so it is up to the parent to make sure their safety is first priority.

BatDaughter4Eva · September 2013

SpringMomv2 said:

Baker_Bride said:

Mc_Newlywed said:
She might have done her own research and disagree with you. But now you've taken it public and it's passive -aggressive. I'd get defensive too.

You said what you wanted to say to her and she chose differently. Her kid, her rules. You ARE trying to parent her kid.
First, there is no current valid research supporting ff at one. Second, do we know you?

Your 1st sentence: true.
Your 2nd sentence: if you look at her siggy she has a 1 yr old. how personally do you need to know her for her to post her opinion?

I agree with Baker. It's a little off putting to come out of the woodwork with a snarky post.

bigbootyjudi · September 2013

I'm sorry, but they've both lost it. Why is he comparing a baseball player's batting average to statistics on child safety? AND to bring Miguel Cabrera into it...OH NO, YOU DIDN'T!

They both sound like idiots. I'm sorry if that offends you, but...I can't think of a better word.

rMe6411 · September 2013

bigbootyjudi said:
I'm sorry, but they've both lost it. Why is he comparing a baseball player's batting average to statistics on child safety? AND to bring Miguel Cabrera into it...OH NO, YOU DIDN'T!

They both sound like idiots. I'm sorry if that offends you, but...I can't think of a better word.

That is my brother and the friend I talked about in another post turning her DD ff at 7 months!! But I don't take offense. I completely agree both were commenting out their azzholes.

Megispreg · September 2013

SpringMomv2 said:

BatDaughter4Eva said:

Baker_Bride said:

She might have done her own research and disagree with you. But now you've taken it public and it's passive -aggressive. I'd get defensive too. You said what you wanted to say to her and she chose differently. Her kid, her rules. You ARE trying to parent her kid.
First, there is no current valid research supporting ff at one. Second, do we know you?

Your 1st sentence: true.
Your 2nd sentence: if you look at her siggy she has a 1 yr old. how personally do you need to know her for her to post her opinion?
I agree with Baker. It's a little off putting to come out of the woodwork with a snarky post.

click her name, shes not coming out of the woodwork but also its not that snarky what she said. and if it is, just comment on that. esp bc its true that FF at 1 is not recommended.

I take the opinion of someone I know more seriously than a random stranger.

WhtRssnGrl · September 2013

Megispreg said:

SpringMomv2 said:

BatDaughter4Eva said:

Baker_Bride said:

She might have done her own research and disagree with you. But now you've taken it public and it's passive -aggressive. I'd get defensive too. You said what you wanted to say to her and she chose differently. Her kid, her rules. You ARE trying to parent her kid.
First, there is no current valid research supporting ff at one. Second, do we know you?

Your 1st sentence: true.
Your 2nd sentence: if you look at her siggy she has a 1 yr old. how personally do you need to know her for her to post her opinion?
I agree with Baker. It's a little off putting to come out of the woodwork with a snarky post.

click her name, shes not coming out of the woodwork but also its not that snarky what she said. and if it is, just comment on that. esp bc its true that FF at 1 is not recommended.

I take the opinion of someone I know more seriously than a random stranger.

Ehhhhh-xactly. Those of us who have been around and participating since we found out we were three weeks pregnant always welcome newbies, but we (I'm speaking for the majority, not everybody) will take your opinion more seriously if we "know" you.

BatDaughter4Eva · September 2013

Cutting quote trees.

When k said she just came out of the woodwork I meant I haven't seen her post here before. If I'm wrong that's fine. Like I've said in the past, I don't mind new posters. It's just not well received well by most when people step in the door being negative.

piphigirl · September 2013

I want to see this entire Facebook conversation. Can you Storify something from FB or is that just Twitter?

stever · September 2013

While I agree with you, I can see why they got defensive. Saying 'this is what good parents do,' or something to that effect, is basically saying people who DON'T do that are bad parents.

Mc_Newlywed · September 2013

Gee sorry to post and run earlier.

You do "know" me. I just haven't posted here in awhile. I posted quite a bit when we were all pregnant and back then I wasn't considered "snarky" or "coming out of the woodwork"

My point was, that if you have a discussion with a family member about something and don't get the result you want it's very passive-aggressive to take your fight to social media. The only reason to do that is for other family/friends to back you up and validate your argument and to embarrass/shame the other person. This could be about car seats, GMOs, conspiracy theories or anything else. I found the words you chose to be very off-putting, and I would've gone on the defense if I were your SIL.

And for what it's worth, my son is still rear facing. So this isn't an issue of me disagreeing about the research.

I'm bowing out of this thread now. I'm not friends with any of you on FB so I can't imagine the twists and turns this has taken. I just hope for your sake this doesn't cause a huge rift in your family.

rMe6411 · September 2013

Mc_Newlywed said:
Gee sorry to post and run earlier.

You do "know" me. I just haven't posted here in awhile. I posted quite a bit when we were all pregnant and back then I wasn't considered "snarky" or "coming out of the woodwork"

My point was, that if you have a discussion with a family member about something and don't get the result you want it's very passive-aggressive to take your fight to social media. The only reason to do that is for other family/friends to back you up and validate your argument and to embarrass/shame the other person. This could be about car seats, GMOs, conspiracy theories or anything else. I found the words you chose to be very off-putting, and I would've gone on the defense if I were your SIL.

And for what it's worth, my son is still rear facing. So this isn't an issue of me disagreeing about the research.

I'm bowing out of this thread now. I'm not friends with any of you on FB so I can't imagine the twists and turns this has taken. I just hope for your sake this doesn't cause a huge rift in your family.

You read the original post all wrong. It wasn't a post about my family. It was a general post that my family started commenting on.

Rhomonk · September 2013

rMe6411 said:
You read the original post all wrong. It wasn't a post about my family. It was a general post that my family started commenting on.

It may have not been a post about your family, but writing a "general" post on FACEBOOK questioning people's parenting is going to start shit.

And if you knew your SIL was planning on FF on this before you posted, than it's passive aggressive on your part. At least admit that.

Your SIL is in the wrong with her stance, and it sounds like it got crazy, but hey, that's what happens when you post statements like that on Facebook.

I'm all for car seat safety, but there are better ways to go about "educating" people of the new recommendations.

rp-chicago-mom · September 2013

nicnac817 said:
I personally feel that when people make comments or posts like that on social media, it's to get a reaction. Even though I do agree with your thoughts.

A less aggressive way to get your point across would be posting a link to some information on the topic. Maybe some people would have gotten some useful facts that they disn't have before.

I agree with this. I usually do post links to interesting articles about high horses of mine. But I don't have anyone who will disagree in mind either.

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