You know what's messed up?

Re: You know what's messed up?

• DublinMama member

  August 2013

  If it's any consolation, I am ordering pizza for dinner tonight and I accomplished no where near anything you did, and my kid was in someone else's care all day. And my house is a mess. And I have an obscene amount of laundry to do that I have put off for a stupid amount of time. Like, I'm out of undies. So give yourself a high five, sister, because you are rocking it as far as I'm concerned!!
  

  

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• Drea926 member

  August 2013

  First off, BIG HUGS.

  
  

  I know exactly how it feels to be hard on yourself. I had an emotional breakdown last night - lots of things contributing to it like my impending return to work, we also had some nap drama yesterday and I got my period. I went full on, "I'm a failure as a mother". My DH was like, "if he takes a stinky nap, that's not your fault. You always blame yourself for things that aren't in your control". Story of my life.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

     
  

  
  

  
  

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• Puck1182 member

  August 2013

  Oh, I'm the same way.  Last night after DD went to bed, I decided to get a LOT of stuff done, since Thursday is the day I work my second job, so I work 7:30-3:30, go home, feed DD, and then work 5-9.  I put clean dishes away, washed the handful of dirty ones, got lunch ready, chopped up veggies to make English muffin pizzas for my mom and me (she was meeting me at our house with DD so I could feed her between jobs, so I figured the least I could do was feed my mom too!), showered so I wouldn't have to do it in the morning, pumped an extra 2 oz of milk, and washed a load of diapers. 
  
  Was I proud of myself?  Mostly I was just upset that I didn't stay up long enough to put the dry diapers away or pop the pureed green beans out of the ice cube tray and package them up in aluminum foil and a freezer bag.  (Nevermind that I have a MONTH'S worth of homemade baby food sitting in the freezer, which is an accomplishment in and of itself considering I work 44-52 hours a week!)
  
  Me?  A perfectionist?  Nah.  [-(

  
  
  

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• Funnurse81 member

  August 2013

  I feel you. I came home this morning father working a twelve hour shift to a baby who didn't wan to sleep. I had just enough time to shower and eat breakfast before she was up wanting to play. Normally she will stay awake for two hours at a time. Well, at eleven she started fussing so I took her upstairs for our nap. I always lay with her for naps which works for both of us. Well, problem is she's. been fighting her naps lately. She kept plugging off the boob, looking around, smacking herself in the thighs and generally just trying to fight sleep. I was exhausted and getting annoyed. I even tried rocking her to sleep. Finally at 1:00pm I just set her down in her bed and walked out of the room and let her cry for about ten minutes. Went in, picked her up and put her in bed with me. She was out in five minutes. We slept for two hours. Needless to say I've done nothing in terms of housework today. I've learned not to beat myself over it. What I o nowadays is I do most of my chores at night after putting her down. I however, learned how to carry dd on my back. It's awesome since it allows me to carry her and have two free hands to accomplish task that can't wait. You can check out some YouTube videos on how to do it if you're interested. Sometimes dd even falls asleep when she's on my back.

  

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• Funnurse81 member

  August 2013

  Please excuse the multiple typing errors in my post.

  

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• kleigh926 member

  August 2013

  Thanks everyone That made me feel better!!

  PCOS with long, irregular cycles
  First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 
  BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

          

  
  

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• kleigh926 member

  September 2013 edited September 2013

  Sagen said:

  I always read your post, and feel like I can relate to you in a lot of ways. I am very hard on myself as well. I read this article the other day and I loved it, I think you will too. It is religious for those who are offended by that (I know you aren't). It is impossible to be every kind of mother, but your doing awesome  

  https://lovingmylot.com/2013/08/23/mom-vs-mom-the-war-i-didnt-see-coming/
  

  Oh, thank you so much for posting this. It made me tear up. This was my favorite line: "That He is passionate about our children and will walk beside us, in all our shortcomings, to make us the kind of mom we need to be." That's exactly what I needed to hear!
  

  PCOS with long, irregular cycles
  First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 
  BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014
  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

          

  
  

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• holly321 member

  September 2013

  Thanks for sharing Sagen. I needed that. I was feeling ridiculously guilty, because I spent about 30 minutes making baby. I guess I assume I can making baby food and play with the baby, while feeding my toddler all at the same time. Anyway, I know it wasn't the intent of the article. But it reminds me that I am doing the best I can, and I need to see that that is a good thing.

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• eriannc22 member

  September 2013

  I really liked the metaphor in that article about the dry forest. One day a couple weeks ago I was ranting to DH after a family lunch about some critical comments his grandmother made towards me in regard to DS. DH said, you just let it get it you, you care too much. And I explained it to him like this, Imagine you had a job, a job that was more important to you than anything, a job you spent countless hours doing, researching for, reading up on etc. and someone came along and said Nope you aren't doing it right. You'd be pretty upset too.
  
  I'm a very type A planning type person and the transition to motherhood for me has been a process of learning to go with the flow. Natural birth plan ended in C section. Pack and play set up in the room, ended up cosleeping. It goes on and on.
  
  I know most of the mommies on TB are here because they care SO much about their babies. If you care that much, you are probably doing great as a mom! We are all our own worst critics. Sometimes we need to just give ourselves a break.

  
  
  
  
  I like cookies.
  
  
  

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• Drea926 member

  September 2013

  eriannc22 said:

  I really liked the metaphor in that article about the dry forest. One day a couple weeks ago I was ranting to DH after a family lunch about some critical comments his grandmother made towards me in regard to DS. DH said, you just let it get it you, you care too much. And I explained it to him like this, Imagine you had a job, a job that was more important to you than anything, a job you spent countless hours doing, researching for, reading up on etc. and someone came along and said Nope you aren't doing it right. You'd be pretty upset too. I'm a very type A planning type person and the transition to motherhood for me has been a process of learning to go with the flow. Natural birth plan ended in C section. Pack and play set up in the room, ended up cosleeping. It goes on and on. I know most of the mommies on TB are here because they care SO much about their babies. If you care that much, you are probably doing great as a mom! We are all our own worst critics. Sometimes we need to just give ourselves a break.

  This is me to a T! It's a hard lesson, but in the long run, a good one!

  

     
  

  
  

  
  

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