And now...

KezziRiv · August 2013

I posted before in another thread about our plans to move on, I'll just recap what has been an extremely difficult decision. After our WTF, our RE gave a few options with odds attached. She felt like there must be some undetectable underlying problem causing the donor ivf's to fail in my body. She said we could undergo lots of testing but her suspicion is that I have chronic appendicitis, she said if we went ahead with more vic then they'd need to do a lap and exploratory surgery to check my appendix. (yikes) We decided to pull the plug on my body. It just seems to us to have gotten to the point of wastefulness; money, time and emotional recourse. Instead we are going ahead with IUI in my wife's body. She has never wanted to be pregnant and so this is a bit of a challenge for us both.

I am working through the emotions of not being able to use me and also watching her struggling with something I wanted so badly. I remind myself that the baby is what I want most and the pathway there is less important but it still stings.

She is on her day 1 today and getting her baseline this afternoon. She'll start clomid on sunday and we are off to the races! It's crazy to watch this happen so fast and to someone else.

I'd love to stay here with you ladies but if you don't feel that I fit in, I understand.

hmz819 · August 2013

I don't see why you don't still fit in. Back in the day we have had a husband or two posting about his wife's cycle. I don't see why you can't post about your wife's cycle and get support. Best of luck to you.

poohniki · August 2013

I truly wish you and your wife all the luck in the world. You two are in this together, and you both belong here, even if it's only you who chooses to share. I completely understand why this cannot be an easy transition, I only hope that success comes very quickly for you two so that you don't have too much time to worry about this part of the process. Good luck!

twistsandturnsto2 · August 2013

I know this is not the path you or your DW had in mind, but nothing on this journey is for any of us. I hope the both of you can come to terms with the change of plans and wish you the best as you move forward. I would love for you to stick around and keep us updated on how things are going!

jezebel57 · August 2013

*****PAIF response- ticker warning*******

Hope you don't mind that I'm replying to this, but I am so happy for you guys. I can't imagine how tough this still is for you but so glad that you and DW came up with a new plan and are able to move forward. I'm rooting for you guys!!!!!!

sorrellam30 · August 2013

ummm of course you belong here with us! I'm so excited to have you back. I know it's not what either of you were planning for but in the end I think you will both be so happy to have your family regardless of how. welcome back

twistsandturnsto2 · August 2013

Hi @jezebel57, YGPM

beachy6 · August 2013

You better not go anywhere!! It doesn't matter how we all get to the end, but we will all get there together!!

I'm so very sorry that you have to give your DW your dream of being pregnant. However, if you want to look on the bright side, you're so very lucky you have that option! Even though your DW didn't want to originally, she sure is showing her level of dedication and love for you by now doing something she never wanted to do. And, it's already cd 1! No waiting!! Sending tons of thoughts and prayers that this is your answer!!

amcastord · August 2013

Where else would you go? You must stay with us so we can all see this through! You can be her voice, if she isn't up to posting. Sorry this journey is leading you down a road you didn't expect. In a lot of ways, we're all being taken down a road we certainly didn't expect. This sounds as though the transition from you to her could be stressful for you (and YW) so you'll need a place to get it all out. I hope, you'll allow us to be that safe place for you both. Keep us posted, in the loop and all that good stuff.

GL and the only board you're welcome to "jump ship" to is the PAIF/SAIF board

Appendix, huh? Strange and interesting...all at the same time. What gives with that?

delatl · August 2013

That is so tough to hear and just hard to cope with such a significant change from what you both planned. I hope you stick around and keep us updated, and I look forward to your updates!

ball.and.chain · August 2013

Glad you two aren't out of the game! You are welcome on the LGBT board too -- there are several women there dealing with issues related to being the non-bio parents. Good luck with your IUI!

ttc23 · August 2013

Of course you should stay! We would love to have you around and be updated on how everything is going with you and your wife. It sounds like things have been really difficult lately and it is always good to have support. Everyone on the IF board has their own individual journey and none is more or less valid than another. Wishing you all the best and hoping you stay around

monimu13 · August 2013

I'm sorry that your plans had to change and I wish you and YH the best of luck with the new plan. Of course stick around

Twinkie0612 · August 2013

I vote stay if you are comfortable. I know it's not how you planned, but I've got my FX for you and your wife.

Sunny B · August 2013

You MUST stay here! I want to hear how it all goes. My fingers are crossed for you guys.

Toriables · August 2013

What a difficult decision to make. I hope that both of you get to enjoy your baby soon, no matter what it takes to get him or her. Good luck!

brittneyandadam · August 2013

I'm sorry that you had to make such a hard decision. Wishing you and DW the best of luck in your new plan of action...please stay and keep us updated. :-)

Manada · August 2013

Oh wow.
My partner and I have been in this situation, and I have gone back and forth on the grieving and trying to get used it, and then having the plan just yanked out from under us. We are currently preparing an IVF with her eggs while we are going through our very last ditch efforts with mine (and very little chance of mine). The grief of moving on is huge.

I haven't followed your story, but as someone in a same sex relationship and having been in the process for awhile. And I have been on both sides of the fertility coin. Feel free to PM me if you would like to chat.

RosyGlow · August 2013

Kezziriv, I'm so sorry that you have to adjust your plans. Thinking of you and hoping this IUI is a rewarding and healing process for you. Hugs!

curlylocks3 · August 2013

That does sound like a very difficult decision to make. In my mind you are more than welcome to stay as long as feels right to you. You don't stop dealing with the pain and emotions of IF just because you're trying a different approach.
I'll ve thinking of both of you.

rlk2 · August 2013

I'm sorry. I can't imagine how you are feeling to have to take another route to get your miracle. "dont confuse the path with the destination. just because its stormy now doesn't mean you aren't headed for sunshine". I hope you stay around. We will be here to support you and Dw!!!! I'm rooting for you girls.

LundleBean · August 2013

Please stay! I'm sorry things won't be able to work out the way you planned but I really hope this all works out for you.

leggs1276 · September 2013

Please stay! I have been following you since I discovered these boards a few months ago. I have a good feeling about you and your wife!

wishing you both the very best of luck. You inspire me!

Margritli · September 2013

Huge hugs to you, lady! I am so sorry. Please stay. I agree with all the others who said that even though your journey is taking an unexpected turn, you are still on the IF journey like everyone else here. I hope that you and your wife get your little miracle soon!

And now...

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