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February 2013 Moms
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s/o comments, kids close in age (or 2+ kids)

pitterpatter129pitterpatter129 member
edited September 2013 in February 2013 Moms
If your kids are close in age, you do get weird comments in pubic?  I replied to the other post that people tell me, "Wow, you've sure got your hands full!" every single dang time we go out in public.  Multiple people in the same store.  My toddler is pretty well behaved and is usually just sitting in a cart.  I always wear the baby (which I think attracts attention too.  Old people always try to pet us.)  They aren't screaming and leaping from carts and begging for things.  They always say it with a shocked face too.  Then they ask how old they are.  I've about decided maybe it's because my 2.5 yr old looks younger because he's tiny and my 6 mo old looks older because he's huge, so they think I got pregnant immediately.  I don't know.  It just grates on my nerves.  I'm always nice and just say, "Yep, sure do!"  But, I want to ask what in the heck they mean by it?!  I'm sure many, many, many people have TWO children.  It's not like I have 30 of them following me and it's a pretty popular age difference in terms of having kids. 


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Re: s/o comments, kids close in age (or 2+ kids)

  • Felicity86Felicity86 member
    Ugh, yes. I have twins and constantly get the "you must be exhausted" and "must have your hands full" comments all the time. I never know how to respond...I mean, PLENTY of people have two kids.
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  • holly321holly321 member
    I was once asked if my kids were twins. Ummm, are you stupid? Dd is tall, DS is short, and oh yeah, they are almost 2 years apart. And I get the hands full comments a lot. Or jokes about how I am always pregnant. Which are really upsetting. While I was pregnant for the most part of two years, I only have two children, so it just strikes a raw nerve. Also, my brother and SIL have Irish twins between mine, and we have had people make comments like, don't you own a tv. It was hard not to ask them if they though my husband brother, SIL and I had orgies or something. Them having kids close together and us have kids close together has nothing to do with each other.
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  • wifeofadamwifeofadam member
    "You sure have your hands full!"

    "Are they all yours?"

    and my personal favorite - "You know what's causing that, don't you?"  ;)

    A lot of people ask if my oldest two are twins or ask for their ages and then when they hear it they are like "WOAH!  You must be tired!" or something like that.

    Most of the time people are nice and I feel like the comments come from a good place - like they are looking in amazement.  Other times the comments are negative and it makes me upset.  I've gotten looks of disgust for having so many.  Whenever people make the comments in a negative tone I just make sure to respond positively - like if they are saying I have my hands full (implying that they are TOO full), I say something like, "I sure do!  Full of blessings!"  and smile really big.
        
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  • wifeofadamwifeofadam member
    I forgot to add - I like messing with people.  People always seem to want to know if we are done having children.  It's such a rude and nosy question to ask, especially in the tone they ask it - implying that we have enough and surely we are done.  So, when they say "Are you done?"  I always say something like "No way!  We'd love to have more!"  People don't know how to respond, like they are talking to a crazy person.  Sometimes they'll try to talk you out of it by listing the negatives of having a lot of children - "well you have to feed all of those kids" or "you know, they get expensive when they are older" - as if we don't know that kids cost money.  It's so annoying and so not anyone else's business. 

    I can't imagine what it will be like if I get pregnant with #5.  I thought the stares and comments were bad last time.  I think I'll try to hide this pregnancy forever!
        
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  • kelly321kelly321 member
    +adamwife+ said:
    I forgot to add - I like messing with people.  People always seem to want to know if we are done having children.  It's such a rude and nosy question to ask, especially in the tone they ask it - implying that we have enough and surely we are done.  So, when they say "Are you done?"  I always say something like "No way!  We'd love to have more!"  People don't know how to respond, like they are talking to a crazy person.  Sometimes they'll try to talk you out of it by listing the negatives of having a lot of children - "well you have to feed all of those kids" or "you know, they get expensive when they are older" - as if we don't know that kids cost money.  It's so annoying and so not anyone else's business. 

    I can't imagine what it will be like if I get pregnant with #5.  I thought the stares and comments were bad last time.  I think I'll try to hide this pregnancy forever!
    I'm now applying for jobs, and while it's also illegal here to ask about family plans, apparently it's not uncommon for it to happen anyway. I've already thought of a reply if people ask - it will be "We're happy with our two girls." True, but evasive because we're happy with them and still want one more. But seriously, it's no one's business how many kids you want, and good for you for having a big family. My parents are both one of 5 siblings and I loved having such a large extended family!

    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

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  • tamarar5tamarar5 member
    I'm with you on the big family. We aren't done yet but since we have one of each people assume that we are. Even our parents! We don't really want to become the next Duggar family (all though kudos to them, they live debt free AND well!) but we are not done. I have two and constantly get the hands full comments! I wasn't aware that two kids consisted of a house full...
                    We're Going to be a Family of 5!

    Lilypie - (PaHE) Lilypie - (4noI)

                                   Lilypie - (2q9u)


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  • wifeofadamwifeofadam member
    I'm with you on the big family. We aren't done yet but since we have one of each people assume that we are.




    I can't figure out how to quote correctly...

    We got that a lot after we had #3.  Since we finally had a girl, people thought we should be done.  "You have both - you're done right?!"  And when we had #4 it became "You have two of each.  It's so perfect.  Why would you have another and mess it up?"  It really bothers me when people say that - that we're going to mess up the 2-2 balance by having another.  Like another child wouldn't make the family even MORE perfect.
        
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  • holly321holly321 member
    I hate when people tell me how hard certain aspects of pregnancy/childbirth/parenting are. Especially when they have 1 child, younger than my dd. I am not saying I know everything, by no means do I, but I get the gist of child rearing. I hated when people would tell me (while pregnant) how miserable pregnancy is.... Umm, been there, done that. I am aware. My cousin, who is 51, recently had his first. He is a little over 1. He is the oldest, I am the youngest (I'm 26) so he looks at me like I am a bad. He was holding Logan about 2 months ago, saying how hard it gets when they crawl and get into stuff. I just smiled and nodded my head, and did my best to not tell him how hard it gets when they climb and jump off of stuff.
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