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November 2013 Moms
AndrewnEdna
member
(A loss)..Prayers needed
AndrewnEdna
member
To make it quick...
My SIL was due sept 24th (girl)
I'm due nov 14th ..(boy)
First grand babies on my DHs side...
Her baby girl came August 25th.. My SIL went into labor and had complications which led her to have preeclampsia which led to placenta eruption which led to my beautiful niece to not make it.. She was still born.. This was our first babies. I saw and held my niece who looked as if she was sleeping in my arms.. I'm trying to be strong but tears just roll my eyes.. It's been so awkward between us and I'm giving her her space.. It tears me apart seeing this and traumatizes me for labor. It was so unexpected. We had a private service for my niece and once my SIL saw me.. She broke down into tears which led me to break down. We had so many plans for thanks giving and Christmas it's so hard.. DH is broken but he understand I need my space. I want my SIL to talk to me when she is ready. It so stressful because we shared everything together and it kills me to see her like this and frightens me to even think of labor. I was there the whole night and I was there when we got the news that my niece didn't make it. I'm a mess and I'm thinking of sharing this with my Midwife on my next appointment. I pray and pray and pray but every time I'm around his family I just see the pain in there eyes and they see mine.. It's an awkward silence and its slowly breaking me. I cry every night and DH tries to comfort me.... There's more but it's getting to me again.. Just wanted to vent a little.
Prayers needed... Thank you
My SIL was due sept 24th (girl)
I'm due nov 14th ..(boy)
First grand babies on my DHs side...
Her baby girl came August 25th.. My SIL went into labor and had complications which led her to have preeclampsia which led to placenta eruption which led to my beautiful niece to not make it.. She was still born.. This was our first babies. I saw and held my niece who looked as if she was sleeping in my arms.. I'm trying to be strong but tears just roll my eyes.. It's been so awkward between us and I'm giving her her space.. It tears me apart seeing this and traumatizes me for labor. It was so unexpected. We had a private service for my niece and once my SIL saw me.. She broke down into tears which led me to break down. We had so many plans for thanks giving and Christmas it's so hard.. DH is broken but he understand I need my space. I want my SIL to talk to me when she is ready. It so stressful because we shared everything together and it kills me to see her like this and frightens me to even think of labor. I was there the whole night and I was there when we got the news that my niece didn't make it. I'm a mess and I'm thinking of sharing this with my Midwife on my next appointment. I pray and pray and pray but every time I'm around his family I just see the pain in there eyes and they see mine.. It's an awkward silence and its slowly breaking me. I cry every night and DH tries to comfort me.... There's more but it's getting to me again.. Just wanted to vent a little.
Prayers needed... Thank you
This discussion has been closed.
Re: (A loss)..Prayers needed
Also, I don't mean this to be harsh but we have a few later loss mamas on this board and this is a scary/sensitive topic for many - please put a warning in the title.
In memory of Corbin Scott 10/28/11-12/3/11. Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind Heaven got a little better the day it took you away from me Missing you tonight, see you again sometime For now I'll close my eyes and dream of heaven tonight I'll love you forever I'll like you for always Now and Forever My baby you'll be
corbinsmommy.blogspot.com
January siggy challenge
I am sorry for your loss.
My first child was due within weeks of my niece (sister) and my nephew (SIL). They are alive and my child isn't (early pg loss). Eight years later (I had additional hardship), I am finally connecting more with my niece and nephews (sister and SIL). I am sad that our relationships were "closed" for so many years (communication stopped), but as my therapist said, there would be time - time heals.
Wishing you and your family healing...
Being a loss momma (with a post-loss DD), I am grateful for every day of pregnancy and when I my anxiety peaks I remind myself that additional loss is unlikely. There are no guarantees, but I try to focus on what is likely: a healthy, baby boy.
Hugs.
Unexplained IF/RPL
TTC#1 2003 BFNs, 2004-2009
5 angels above
2010 IVF-PGS-FET#1, DD b. Aug-2011
TTC#2 2012 BFNs, 2013 FET#2, DS b. Nov-2013
TTC#3 2015 BFNs, FET#3
(my 6th and last angel above)
Journey Complete.
I know it's hard stepping away when all you want to do is help, but it may be what is best
T&Ps for you SIL and family.
I was not a late loss mom, I had a loss at 9 weeks and shortly after found out my sis was pregnant and due just a month after me and even THAT was hard!! We had such a good relationship and it broke apart after that. She thankfully kept her distance when I needed her to.
I am sorry for this loss and pray that your SIL will get the comfort she needs from family.
I can't identify but trust the opinions of those who can with regards to giving your SIL time and space.
I just wanted to add, to address what may be your biggest fear, what happened to your SIL won't necessarily happen to you. Tragedies do happen but so do happy endings. It's understandable to mourn the loss of your niece, but you also deserve to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. Yes, you'll have to do so differently, particularly with respect to your in laws, but every baby deserves to be celebrated.
Good Luck, OP. T's & P's.
St Lucia pretty much said it all. As a late loss mom I agree she will shut you out (she will shut everyone one out) do not take it personally. When she's ready she will come back but take it slow and keep the baby talk to a minimum when she does. She needs to adjust at her own speed. It took me a year to get back to some kind of normal. But normal will never be what it once was.
Hugs to your SIL and your family
Always remember your nieces birthday. Always send a card and call and ALWAYS use her name. When you call she may not answer and that normal. She will want people to remember but more than likely wont want to talk.
Follow her lead on talk of your son. I had a good friend that was due within 2 weeks of me. She followed my lead and our friendship is still great. I had another friend due 6 months after me and she chose to "protect" me by keeping me out of everything, our friendship is ruined. Also, NEVER complain after your son is born. You will be tired, and your boobs will be sore( if you BF) and your vagina will ache, do not say a damn word about that in front of any shared family except your husband.
And last, make her food or easy snack items. She won't want to do anything.. Drop them off somewhere safe when you know she's home and leave, send her a text telling her where you put them. Bubble bath was nice too.
You are in a tough situation but its way harder for her. If you follow her lead, it will be ok. Oh, all the cliche sayings SUCK! Do not say any of them to her. Tell the truth, " I can't imagine what you are going through" "I don't know what to say" " this sucks" things of that nature.
Wyatt Born 09/05/08 MC Jan 2012 MC Feb 2012 MC Jan 2013
August Siggy Challenge