Here's the scenario. Distant cousin on DH side attended our wedding a couple years ago. We invited them out of pressure from the MIL. I had a traditional girly bridal shower with close friends and family in the guest list... aka not the distant cousin.
Presently distant cousin is getting married. Just received co-ed wedding shower invite... Hosted by the bride (??). Theme.... "Greenback shower" aka gimme money. We are busy anyway. DH thinks we should send a check. I think that's unnecessary. We will attend the wedding however.
I would RSVP that you are not attending. If you don't attend the shower no gift necessary and since you are attending the wedding I assume you will have a wedding gift.
Married 11/23/11, TTC starting 10/12, BFP#1 11/30/12, Adoption of stepson finalized 03/19/13,Loss of our daughter at 20w4d due to incompetent cervix 03/27/13, BFP#2 06/28/13, DS2 born 3/1/14.
We registered for our honeymoon (also a money giving scenario). We didnt receive gifts from ppl who didnt come to our shower and we were ok with it. I doubt they will hold it against you.
I wouldn't send anything just out of spite. Distant relative? Thrown for herself? Requesting money? Three strikes, you're out.
My thoughts exactly. DH is getting pissy about it, no clue why. He keeps saying we had people send us gifts for my bridal shower that didn't come but were invited. Um, it was only 2 people.... My brother's girlfriend who is a doctor and couldn't get the time off and my best friend who had recently moved to Colorado. Completely different.
I hate when people think weddings are money making ventures. Weddings are celebrations of marriage, end of story.
Eh if it's your husbands family and he wants to send a check I'd do it, myself. I generally let my husband take the lead for his side under the assumption that he knows them better than I do. Is it rewarding bad behavior? Sure, but sometimes I care more about keeping the peace than making a stand -particularly when it comes to distant relatives.
@ceh789 I agree... if my H wanted to send a cousin money then I'd let him. Odds are in the grand scheme of life you may be in his shoes one day and you'll have a bargaining chip.
I wouldn't send anything just out of spite. Distant relative? Thrown for herself? Requesting money? Three strikes, you're out.
My thoughts exactly. DH is getting pissy about it, no clue why. He keeps saying we had people send us gifts for my bridal shower that didn't come but were invited. Um, it was only 2 people.... My brother's girlfriend who is a doctor and couldn't get the time off and my best friend who had recently moved to Colorado. Completely different.
I hate when people think weddings are money making ventures. Weddings are celebrations of marriage, end of story.
I wouldn't send anything just out of spite. Distant relative? Thrown for herself? Requesting money? Three strikes, you're out.
My thoughts exactly. DH is getting pissy about it, no clue why. He keeps saying we had people send us gifts for my bridal shower that didn't come but were invited. Um, it was only 2 people.... My brother's girlfriend who is a doctor and couldn't get the time off and my best friend who had recently moved to Colorado. Completely different.
I hate when people think weddings are money making ventures. Weddings are celebrations of marriage, end of story.
Ask him if he would have noticed if the people that didn't show up to your shower hadn't sent you a gift. I think if you're not attending it is a nice gesture (like your bff) but its never expected. And if it is expected, your cousin is even more rude than she already seems.
I'd send her an ettiquette book. Well I'd wish I could do that. If you are going to the wedding just take a gift then. If you're not attending the shower I see no reason to send money to this rude person. Family or not.
Tacky. I think you can RSVP that you're not attending and not send a gift. I was recently invited to DH's step sister's (his dad married her mom a few years ago so he doesn't even consider her a step sister) and I didn't attend and didn't send a gift. Not sure about the etiquette of that but I think it's okay.
Re: WWYD (wedding shower gift)
I had to look up what greenback showers were and I've never heard of them. They are so tacky.
I hate when people think weddings are money making ventures. Weddings are celebrations of marriage, end of story.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Kari~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~