October 2013 Moms
knottied2a666e3e38a2a87
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I think I'm losing it
knottied2a666e3e38a2a87
member
I'm sure there have been other discussions like this, but I think I am losing my grip. My pregnancy was unexpected to begin with, but it seemed much easier to deal with at first. As I get bigger, the problems seem to get bigger. Now, I can't even think too long about the baby without bursting into tears. I get emotional at every doctor's appointment and just want to rush out of there. I can't look at myself in the mirror. I don't like answering questions about baby or talking about him with friends/family. I can hardly walk without terrible pain and sitting down too long hurts, too. I'm ashamed of how I look and then I'm guilty for feeling that way. My body is a MESS and if I had any idea it would get this bad, I never would have taken the risks that put me here. I just want this to be over!! Or somehow get excited about this baby like you all seem to be about your babies, the way he deserves! It doesn't help that I haven't been able to nest because we are building a house -- which we may or may not ever get to move into, let alone before baby, but that's another story. I have to work until I go into labor for financial reasons and it's getting hard. Also, my doc just put me on Wellbutrin this week so maybe that will help with the crazies. Somebody please commiserate.
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Re: I think I'm losing it
I have issues with anxiety and I feel like these last couple of weeks have been especially challenging, so you are definitely not alone.
Also there are quite a few STMs that did not bond with or get excited about baby until he/she was actually here.
Hope you feel better soon.
I can feel for you about the house situation. It's really hard to get excited about baby coming when you don't have a place for them, at least it is for me. I've been freaking out and crying daily when I look around and think about all the things that need to get done in such a short amount of time.
50% of my house is under renovation and we are still a little ways away from being able to get started on the nursery, the rest of my house is a disaster because the things from the rooms that are under construction right now are basically just sitting wherever there is room.
Maybe you could connect with someone on here to talk to them, that way it wouldn't be family or friends. It might help to just be able to vent to one person.
BFP #1 09/15/09, MMC 09/28/09
BFP #2 06/04/12, EDD 02/09/13, MC at 6w3d on 06/18/12
BFP #3 01/16/13, EDD 10/04/13, Born 09/17/13
So this pregnancy for me was unexpected AND it has been my hardest. I had morning sickness until 20 something weeks and now it is coming back. I have had two colds, and the flu as well as a bunch of other little issues that never threatened the baby but just chipped away at me.
I have a 2 year old and 3 year old to take care, we moved to a new city and are now away from our family friends leaving a house I loved for a house I HATE. Money issues have been plaguing us all year. Things keep breaking and need to be replaced so every time we save some it is gone on something we weren't expecting. It has been incredibly overwhelming.
I have really started the "one day at a time" mantra when I get too overwhelmed which seems to help my anxiety. I am incredibly anxious about this baby and am focusing on the little things that make me happy. I like feeling her kick, hearing her heartbeat, pulling out the baby clothes a little at a time, and watching everyone else be so excited to meet her.
I did join a couple mom's groups and a gf that lives near by recommended a really nice church to go to that has a lot of free/cheap family programs. These have all been really helpful as well.
Eleanor 9.30.13
Also wanted to correct what a pp said - what you're going through isn't "normal" - if it were, you wouldn't need help. I think what pp meant is that it is "common". As you can see from other pps, you are not the only one to ever go through this. And you are doing the right thing by seeking help.
I also recommend counseling. It can help with a variety of things that medicines can't always change.
As for your body image issues, pregnant women get a pass. As long as you are trying to eat a relatively healthy and well-balanced diet, the size and shape of your body are secondary. Worry about that after the baby. Also, remember that it's not fat, it's baby (and amniotic fluid and placenta and energy stores). So, don't worry about any of that until you have the baby and you can figure out what you're really dealing with.
Like the oxygen mask on the airplane, you've got to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else, and that's what you're doing by getting the help you need.