Parenting
littlestjerry
member
s/o grandparents babysitting
littlestjerry
member
in Parenting
The FFFC got me wondering. What do you all consider a reasonable and appropriate amount of free babysitting to be expected from grandparents?
DS is 1DAF
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Re: s/o grandparents babysitting
Unable to even.
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You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
It's not expected, but it's sure nice when it happens.
Unable to even.
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You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
My ILs are retired and always asking to have O. My parents are not retired and even if they lived in town, I would still not be asking them to care for O in their "spare time" - they don't have the same kind of relationship with her.
Just depends I guess.
I expect none and I receive none. That worked out well.
I don't expect anything from family except for one thing: To not be fake. Don't pretend that you care and put on a show just to disappoint my children later. I won't stand for it.
Is it nice if grandparents want to be involved and have alone time with the grandchildren? Of course. I don't feel that family is obligated to provide free babysitting though.
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My SIL gave me a coupon for babysitting for my birthday and iit'll be the first time out with DH since March (which was the only time since he was born). I need to find a babysitter.
It's my inlaws. MIL says she doesn't mind, but my FIL and other SIL who lives with them and, thus, gets roped into watching too have grumbled in private about it. I think just because someone says they don't mind, it doesn't mean you should take advantage of that. But wasn't sure if I was unreasonably side eyeing.
ETA: Not sad they don't ask for her because I want to go out, but sad they don't want that time with her.
DH and I have a night without the kids at least once a month if not twice or three times. We are extremely blessed.
ILs. They do so much already. They usually offer or we have no other possibly when we ask.
It works out to be maybe once every 6 weeks?
When my mother comes over from Germany, I kinda 'expect' her to do some stuff alone with the kids. Since she comes here to 'help me with the kids' in the first place.
Now don't get me wrong: my kids, my problem. But if she wants to stay here for 6 weeks to 'help', well...then she better helps. Otherwise I'd prefer a 2 week visit and I'll just deal with everything myself like I do normally.
In fact, having her here right now...yeah, that would be better all around. But, for now, I have to deal
With the insanity and will get a nap in exchange.
My SIL expects her parents to watch her kids all the time. They never say no, and they are basically raising my niece and nephew while she goes out with her friends most nights and only works part time. They always offer to take DS as well, and we have taken them up on it a few times.
My parents are the opposite. I had expected them to want to occasionally take DS for a night or the weekend, but they don't. My mom has come right out and said she doesn't want to take him alone because she doesn't think she can handle him. My kid is not a wild child, and I'll admit, I'm disappointed. Not because I need her to take him, but because she doesn't want to.
My parents both watch the kids when we ask, usually for when I have appointments or if we have school stuff to attend. My mom also watches DD once or twice a month when I volunteer (while DS is in school). We've started asking them to babysit so we can have date nights, but it's only every couple of months. They are happy to do it and love spending time with the kids.
As PP said, expected: none.
With that said, my mom does watch C from around 1 until I get off work around 5-ish at least 4 days a week.
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If they didn't want to anymore that would be fine. He's our kid, not theirs. We don't expect it, but we appreciate it more than words can explain.
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Now we have everything.
DH's parents are more stand-offish with everything - coming over, anything, not just DD, so they generally wait till they are asked (whereas as my mom will be like "GIVE ME THE KID"), but are always eager to watch her when we do ask, and if we ask them to watch her on a Saturday afternoon they usually say "we'll keep her for the night, you kids have a date night.". I've been a little surprised they weren't more eager/asking to watch her or come see her, especially given how excited they were when I was pregnant, but they just have a different way of interacting with dh than my parents and I do.
However, I do not expect anyone to baby sit my kids. If they didn't offer I would never ask.